Poll Who Traumatized You

[dirtgirl42]

My brother molested me. Poor ($) family, tried to hide it, spent 35 years "protecting" his future until I wanted to talk about it, then booted out of the family. I can come back if I admit I was wrong to bring it up and never mention it again. No way. making it alone.

Father tried to kill my mother, guess I'd count that one. fist and guns... whoowee, redneck fun

boyfriend thought I was playing when I said no, screamed no- no cops

Ex-husband began grabbing my shoulders and arms when I became too frustrating, and yes, I was frustrating, brought back MASSIVE fear from long dug and covered wholes of anxiety and suppressed tears. Also tripped me on the stairs, hurt my head and arm pretty bad. Made lots of excuses, but had to break my own heart and leave him.

Friend thought cheering me up when my dog was ill, and I specifically said I just needed a friend to help me through my dog's illness attacked me. called the cops. both were extremely traumatic.

Learned lessons: home safe/ no one visits my home; carry mace; get feeling of being unsafe- leave situation, don't share details w/ friends
Working on: how not to run away all the time, deal with perceptions that may be unreal, bond with people, letting people in my life and let them know i have ptsd and what that means, leaving my "2 year old self" at home when I go out (coping)

 

[jeapea]

Which one? My first step dad was an alcoholic. And he was mean to us all.
The second was a pedophile. My mom's boyfriends were perverts. (I don't think I met a man of that generation that wouldn't have taken advantage of any little girl if given the opportunity! And I don't believe it was just the booze that made them do it!) My first ex was an alcoholic, drug addict and porn addict. And a preachers son to boot! (Loved having religion used to beat me over the head with, too) Second ex was a cheat and a liar. Third... oh, this is perfect... he is a sociopath. No conscience. I had no clue "what" I had been married to until after I got away from him! Drug dealer, (I was a sheriff's deputy!!!) pedophile, cheat, thief, liar, indescribably evil person. And in a small town... I was 'guilty' by association. But, no one believed what he did, after I found out and told them. It's a long story, and he was the one who pushed me over the edge. Ruined the relationships with all of my famliy members with his lies. Enter PTSD! How nice.

 

[orangemo]

My father was miserable. He had the sweet job and the sweet house, great wife 2 kids. Then he had a heart attack and union shoved him in a job he hated. He drank every Friday, it continued all weekend while he tortured me. I don't think it was entirely his fault though. His father came back from world war 2 a little deranged. He was very young when he died but all he remembered was his father chasing his mother around the kitchen table and being taught what household chemicals did to the human body. He turned his knowledge on me. I don't think he thought I was his kid, I also think that he treated me as a symbol of my mother's pride for her family (since I resemble my mother's side much more) I always started the fights with him though. I would provoke him so that he would not hurt my brother or my mother. He hurt her in deeper ways though, I later came to realize. The closet I was often padlocked into was in her bedroom- she would hear me every night if I cried or tried to call out for help. Soon I made no noises at all, for her sake.

 

[Cindy]

multiple traumas - varied situations

It's hard to answer this poll for me because I had multiple traumas at different periods in my life. Each was different. So I responded with the actions associated with the worst trauma and the root cause of my PTSD.

This poll leads to another thought or doubt that I often think about. Do I have the inability to read people. Am I unable to distinguish correct treatment from improper treatment. What was 'normal' to me was abuse. So what is normal?

This is a really scary thought and the basis of distrust for me. How can I ever be sure again? Why even try and place myself at risk again - would I survive the next time (mentally)?

 

[sallysellsseashells]

The person I experienced was my Mother. She fit many of the categories. I believe she is a PTSD sufferer, and I am a PTSD survivor. She is manipulative, masochistic, deranged, sufferer of known Bipolar AND Personality disorder, violent, dichotymous (because she was two faced - all the above mentioned things behind closed doors, a sweet person out in the public eye), psychopathic, cruel, macarbe.

But she claims to care for the most vulnerable in society: the elderly, children and animals. I've seen her with children and animals, and fear what she would do to the elderly. She certainly has no idea that what she's doing is wrong, in a sense, because she believes she is justified in doing it, as long as she doesn't get caught.

 

[bsmo62]

I said intoxicated as abuser #1 my uncle was drunk most of time he was also a child molester carrying out a family tradition and had got away with it for decades he finally changed his ways ( he died)

2nd abuser my mother PTSD sufferer ( never diagnosed molested and abused by her father) who knew what was going on and took money for me going home with my uncle. She also knocked out 3 of my top front teeth when I was 2 yrs old one of many times (also dead)

3rd abuser my dad not sure what you would call it I only know that he also knew what was going on and did nothing.

4th abuser my 1st wife a verbally abusive alcoholic where nothing was off limits as far as what she would say and she also tried to stab me while drunk on 2 different occasions

 

[airangel]

who traumatized you

the first abuser was a guy my freshman yr in high school who i had a huge crush on. He lured me into a situation where 3 of his buddies raped me....i then continued on making poor choices in men and had several more instances thru the yrs....currently married to the most wonderful man who is my best friend...interesting poll....thanks,
della

 

[vietnam2nd]

mine was combat in vietnam. i was brian wash by the military i wasn't afraid of anything. i have been told by counslors if i hadn't been succefully brian wash i would't have survived. they say those who weren't successfully brain wash were the one's who got killed. that is not my opion but what counslors of mine say. i think those killed in war are very brave people.

 

[disenchanted]

The people were mostly strangers and older than me. I can only say that b/c they were still not adults they could only have been acting out based on atrocities done to them. They had to be ill, hurting.

They never made amends and they never will and it wouldn't help if they did. I feel sorry that they were so sick they hurt me and I know sick people aren't happy. But I also know that we always choose what we do and they chose to hurt me.

 

[Lionheart]

My father, uncles, distant relatives, peers, neighbors, strangers, girl-next-door's boyfriend who was also a psychology major in college at the time and who was involved in child sex ring. Total of 18+ perpetrators. None of these people were arrested, admitted guilt, or received rehabilitation. I am willing to answer questions if anyone has any.
~Lewie~

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I was molested by the minister's wife when I was 4. She was an "upstanding member of the community" to say the least...or so it seemed.

 

[Ursa]

I wish this poll had multiple choice...