Why Can't People Mind Their Own Gd Business?!

[Recovery4Me]

Revenge is fun to think about...but not very effective. I do hope everyone is really joking.

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

If someone invaded my personal life to that extend, I'd need a padded cell and a straight jacket, no matter who they were! :mad:

How you they feel if you took their phones and called their partners?

:hug: to all who are having a rough time and need one.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

@owl1982 The part that works me up so much about your situation is that it f**ked with your delicate relationship. I was in a relationship where his ex-wife was worse than a mother in law. After his father died she was practically in bed with us. When we were engaged I had not yet met his father. The ex knew him, so that bond was there. I gave him a lot of slack for appalling behavior during the months following, chalking it off to grief, even when my gut said nahhhhh. I second guessed myself constantly attributing the behavior also to the ex-wife's meddling. Could never just nail down what was zooming what. That sucked. I hope that in time it is possible for you to explain what happened to clear that up, it is unconscionable meddling, even malicious. The ex wife, had remarried, but would not let go even though she was the one to file for divorce. Wanted both men, one for the money and two for the show. I was not built for that kind of drama. Messed me up.

 

[Owl.]

@FridayJones @Changeling @Neverthesame - Aaaah, revenge, such a sweet, sweet concept indeed! I know they aren't worth getting arrested for (although I'll say Guy's fragile and now ruined peace of mind almost would be), but maaaaaaaan, is it fun to think about! Can't count the times I looked at them today and pictured them wearing their stupid grinning faces inside-out. "Pictured" being the key word. If I didn't immediately rearrange their ugly mugs, the moment has now passed. Doesn't mean they won't get theirs eventually, though. The day they need something from me will come.
F*ck with me - you've got a problem. F*ck with Guy - you've got a bigger problem.
Take on both of us at once? It might be wise to leave the universe. :ninja:

@SheilaKathy - Yeah, I know, I carry a pretty significant part of the blame here. I didn't lock my phone properly and I didn't keep it with me either. That first part I just plain forgot (certainly my fault), the second simply happened when I was dragged behind that bar (won't even begin to go into what THAT did to my "sanity") and just barely managed to yell at them to watch my stuff. I'm certainly to blame for the part of me that STILL believes in the good in people, despite everything. That same part that couldn't imagine anyone going into a zipped bag for somebody else's phone.
I can absolutely see where you're coming from and wish I'd had the option of leaving my phone at home instead. No one would have to wade through this mess now if I had. Unfortunately, those things are camera-replacements these days and I needed to take and send a ton of pictures during the day and this way was the easiest. Little did poor naive me know... :banghead:

@shandemonium - Yeah, that did sound kinda wrong. ;)
However, it also gave me a good giggle (and an even better idea! Will have to look into safe punching-opportunities), so thanks for that. :)

@Sighs - Yap! That's exactly what they did. And they STILL feel like they didn't do anything wrong! Amazing, innit? It must be awesome living in their world...
Unfortunately, I can't get them fired. We work together about 3 months of the year, but we've got different bosses, and all of theirs are considerably more protective of their employees than mine will ever be of anyone. They wouldn't even begin to listen. Sooo...revenge it'll be, of the non-violent kind, when the chance presents itself. It may not be the high road, or the most ethical way, but they're not getting away with this.

@notsurewheretoturn - "Invasion" doesn't even seem to begin to describe it! And it seems they wouldn't mind at all if someone did the same to them. ...and *I* am the one needing a psych?

They tried to explain themselves again today. Guess I might have scared them a bit yesterday (GOOD!).
Of course none of their "explanations" made a lick of sense. Same old "we meant well!" crap (in what universe is meddling in somebody else's affairs "meaning well"??), same old "no harm done" (oh, you poor, innocent souls HAVE NO F***IN' IDEA!!!), now topped with a helping of "But it worked when we did this for [other coworker]!" - Of course it did! Her dude is mentally healthy AND they'd never stopped talking to begin with!
Oh, and I've also been asked if it would've been better if they'd "just" copied his number and called them from their own phones, like the minutes I might have "lost" were the biggest problem.
Won't even go into THAT now or I'm gonna blow a gasket.

So apparently the whole thing is completely normal for these cows. Good to know.
Needless to say the code-lock is back on my phone and I haven't let it out of sight since, and neither of those things is gonna change.

Another "not since" is Guy's online-time. Still don't have any idea how to explain this sh*t to him in a way that MIGHT allow his messed-up brain to stop racing down that wrong lane I have to assume it's on now.
The truth always is the best solution, sure, but let's be honest here...PTSD/TBI/BPD/whatever or not, anyone with even a hint of manners would have a hard time believing THAT story, and someone with his laundry-list of issues in the situation he's in? Nope, no way.

Gotta love lose/lose situations, no?

Anyway - thanks for the replies, guys, it's a mighty relief to read that I may be the crazy one, but I'm not the CRAZY one. :) :hug:

 

[Owl.]

@Changeling - What we've got going on here isn't even something either of us would have the nerve to call a "relationship" now. (Funny, even during the good times when he was talking marriage, I put my foot down on the R-word. I'm having an easier time with it now that it doesn't apply (or wouldn't, in a non-PTSD world) than I did then. Wonder if my docs can explain THAT.)

But yes, whatever it may be, they screwed with it, big time, and that's just yet another crack in this already damn fragile...thing that will be crazy hard, if not impossible to fix.

There's a greedy ex-wife in the picture as well. She dumped him like a mouldy potato the moment he stopped being the war-hero armcandy and became "problematic" instead. Ridiculed him for his bullet-wounds. Called him every name in the book. Cheated on him, lied to him, bled him dry until he had the self-confidence of a dead toad. That's where he still is at today, a decade later.
...and she's also still demanding access to his bank accounts.
Which he only started denying her after I'd spent months explaining that "she's the mother of my son" does NOT mean he owes her sh*t. The kid chose to stay with HIM despite all his issues for a reason!

That freakin' ex of his and the damage she did to a great man isn't even the biggest load of stress in his life, though. He's got so, so much more going on...and now these unbelievable cows had to go and add to the weight.
He's strong, but I can't help but worry that he may not be strong enough. :(

 

[Larksong]

Dear @owl1982 I am SO mad right now! So these dumb b*tches have so little going on in their own lives that they decide to break into your bag, your phone, and your life, and take it on themselves to call him "for" you??? I don't even have to have PTSD to feel that as the most horrible, vulgar, disgusting kind of violation. I am SO sorry, and wish I knew how to help you make this right! I wish I could teleport over there, give them some incredibly painful revenge on your behalf and teleport back leaving them never knowing what had hit them...But we're both better people than that.

I'd like to recommend non-physical, non-illegal revenge of a really clever, cold, and ingenious kind...we can help you think of some and you can enjoy playing with scenarios in your mind...I'm sure that would be therapeutic in itself. By the time you've come up with some great ideas, you may have already worked through the need to carry them out...I just don't think these idiots are worth it, and it could just feed them into doing something else to get revenge on you. You just don't need to involve yourself in that kind of cycle. But I do think you need to tell them off in no uncertain terms and never allow yourself any kind of personal vulnerability around them again. Be grateful that you're you, PTSD and all, with a head and a heart that responds to the world with so much more insight and caring than they ever could.

Meanwhile, put yourself and your Guy first and just tune out all those sad little people. They're not even worthy to occupy space in your thoughts. I understand that explanations won't work with him when this is fresh, but I believe in you two and what you have, just like you believe in me and my guy...Give him some time and when you feel the moment is good, just give him the simple, mundane facts and tell him how sorry you are that these horrible people invaded both your lives. I have the feeling the bond you share, no matter how fragile it seems right now, is a lot stronger than something this stupid. I really do.

Many hugs! :)

Lark

 

[Owl.]

Ah, @Larksong thank you for sharing my rage. :hug:

I'm still fuming somewhere deep inside, but mostly just sliding downhill, and rapidly. Not too fond of that feeling, really, and I've got no freakin' idea how it's gotta be for him then. Unfortunately it comes with the issue at hand that I can't really allow myself to think about that much or I'm just gonna go completely insane, which, at this point, would probably end with rather heavy doors being locked behind me. Wouldn't help anybody, right? :banghead:

I'm not out for revenge at this point, really. No energy to spare, plus that little bit of sanity that tells me that they're not worth it. I'll "happily" allow myself to imagine all sorts of nastiness, though. Doesn't help, but it's a mighty fine distraction for a few minutes at a time, at least. :)

Guy's getting all the time he needs. Whether he returns or not, who knows? I don't even know if *I* will reach a point where I'd be able to go back, so trying to guess anything about HIM is like trying to enter a parallel universe. Spring, like winter, is not an easy time for him even when the circumstances are ideal (which they are lightyears away from), so...yeah. Who knows.
But thank you for believing in a positive outcome, thank you for the hugs and thank you for your faith in both our abilities to survive even the stupidity of others. :)

:hug:

 

[Larksong]

@owl1982 I do believe in you. Owls can see, even if they're surrounded by almost total darkness. Love to you both!