Why Do I Feel Like I'm Lying

[Staciegr777]

I am new here, Really just started in therapy also been going scene January. Things have got really bad in the last 3 months in trying to deal with this stuff. I can't say that it did not bug me before but nothing like this. Flashbacks, bad dreams, scared all the time. And the suck-est part is body memories. Yes I have always had all of these things just not on such a daily or weekly bases. I don't know why I feel like I'm making all of this up. Like i'm making myself crazy. That this is all just emotional and I just need to get a gripe. Do you guys feel like this. Like there is no way it could be this bad out of nowhere like this. Yes, I'm doing some intense therapy, witch I have never done before. Never even tried to do. But I don't know I really feel like I'm making myself crazy. Maybe its better just letting it be and not trying to deal with everything.???

 

[Dootsbec]

If you're anything like me, you buried the emotions and feelings associated with your trauma and now you are connecting those feelings to memories. It's hard. I've thought this many times--that I'm making it up, I'm exaggerating, the dissociation isn't real, the flashbacks--etc. but I ask you, why would you WANT To fake this? The truth is, you aren't. And neither am I. It's sometimes easier to deny and minimize by telling ourselves the symptoms and reactions aren't real. But they are--and once you can move passed that you can work on the deeper stuff.

 

[hodge]

No, it's better to deal with all that stuff. Believe me. It's the only way I got over my anger. Perhaps you have the feeling of making it up over guilt? Like you really didn't go through so much, after all, and so why all these symptoms? I know I've felt that way, but not for long. I was soon convinced after talking to my therapist that I had been through a lot and it was understandable that I would have all these symptoms. I hope you can keep plugging away in therapy and work on your healing. Take care!

 

[StellaBlue]

I suspect what's happening is that you are moving too quickly and quite possibly being re-traumatized. Is your therapist well versed in trauma? Have he/she helped you develop resources for grounding yourself, dealing with distress tolerance and emotional regulation? This is difficult work and the only way it will be successful is if you take it slowly. It will be painful, but it should not be debilitating.

 

[Staciegr777]

but I ask you, why would you WANT To fake this?

You are so right, here I sit 4am and I just can't sleep. Not because anything is really going on but I feel like it may. I feel like I'm going to have a bad dream or a flashback or something. Just can't sleep. and why for who why would I sit here scared to sleep. It makes no scene well then with my story yes it does. Thank you guys very helpful to know im not alone.

 

[RWife]

Hi there, your situation sounds very familiar to things my husband experienced while going through therapy. He spent two months in an inpatient facility where they did "exposure" therapy which basically is when you talk about, listen to, write about, etc... your experience. When my husband came back from that time he was more anxious and on edge than ever. Try and be patient with yourself. It makes sense that once you start therapy things might get a little worse before they get better. My counselor told me to expect that over a year and a half ago and thats what happened for sure. There is always light at the end of the darkness, things have gotten better for my husband and I do not think he regrets that part of his therapy. That being said, make sure you are honest with your therapist about how the sessions are effecting you. I hope that you find comfort in knowing you are feeling the same feeling my husband and other ppl feel, you arn't alone. Be patient. Things will improve.