Why do you choose to stay alive?

[EveHarrington]

Sometimes like right now I just don’t know

 

[user44376]

I can’t do it to my mother, even though she is responsible for most of the shit that got me here.

 

[ninja]

I don’t know if any of this will help anybody what I’m saying.

Yes. It reminds me the power in conscious choice. I am humbled and thankful for this reminder in the midst of feelings which can seem to take away all of the power.

 

[Tropical]

Sometimes it's big things, such as the pain I will inflict on those who love me. It's probably the biggest reason, though in my depressive moments I actually want to save them from myself, which is false. I have to keep telling myself that that idea is incorrect. It won't save anyone. It will just cause grief.

Sometimes it's the small things. I can't eat my favourite food, pet a cat, enjoy music, feel warmth, have a coffee if I am dead.

Sometimes I am too defiant. I didn't survive all this time just to cut it short like that. My life has to mean more than this.

 

[Chitoshi]

I did not survive him to end myself, is my general answer. Sometimes I don't because of my fiance and our families. Sometimes I don't because I can reason myself through that what I really need is a break from whatever is happening, whether I can get that break or not depending on circumstances is a different matter entirely.

 

[MrMoonlight]

I have had a lot of time to think about this since my last post.

HOPE

That's it for me...after all these years I still have hope...be it a speck or a pound somewhere in the darkness shines a spark. I really thought it was dead and in my mind it was, but I guess somewhere in my soul I'm hopeful to see for myself, a more balanced future.

 

[Rani G2]

Bit I’m trying to put my focus on why I stay alive.

Justmehere, asking this question once in a while myself. What keeps me alive is a mother. A "desire to survive" which is probably a instinct.To eat different kinds of choclate cakes and curries. So what comes after survival ? Finding out...

 

[shimmerz]

I have one part of me that is firmly invested in living. Why? To help others not suffer through the indignities, attempted humiliations, abuses that I have. Why else? I don't know yet. Not quite into the 'life is so grand' stage of this game right now.

However, there is another part of me whose sole purpose, it seems, is to die. And she is so very young. So young she can't express in words. Only actions. And they are actions that will get her killed.

So I look at that part as if she is my child. Well, she is actually if I think logically about it. And she is too young to be driving this bus. As a result, I picture her, I hold her, I love her and I encourage her. I will make sure she is okay. I will try to teach her that life has gotten better.

lol. Now, if only she would hear me.....

 

[Rani G2]

@shimmerz

I thought of this ( read in a book my T gave me)

https://www.google.de/url?sa=t&sour...9C-gQFghLMAs&usg=AOvVaw3RC9k06peMWkEaX7D3fhJC

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I have never been one able to take a life. Even if I see a giant cockroach run across the floor I put a cup over it and wait for someone else to deal with it.

So, when I am really upset and have really dark thoughts which has only happened 3 times so far, I leave it up to God/fate. I may pray for God to take me out. Like stand in a lightening storm and yell “bring it on!”

So I guess my answer is, my reason for living is that I am incapable of murder/taking a life?

On a different note, when I am in a good place... I live because life is BEAUTIFUL. I see it everywhere in the smallest places. I found a plant growing out of the structure in my beach park. The oddest of determination. It wasn’t meant to grow there but it was determined. (Here is the pic I took of this)

 

[Butterflies2023]

Get another dog then you will have two reasons to stay present! In fact go - consider volunteering a couple hours a week at the humane society. Or find a place to volunteer and helping children at a church perhaps. Try to not ruminate and be self absorbed in your sadness or doldrums of life. Think. Think about something you haven’t done and try doing something enjoyable

 

[Mel]

I’ve been battling these damn suicidal thoughts lately...

I could focus on all the reasons why t...

I read one time suicide is an permanent solution for a TEMPORARY problem...pray that you seek help!