My new therapist has decided to take my son on too. He is 14 and after being a 'Young Carer', he suffers from not being able to display his anger. So my therapist is going to take him on too. Maybe he will explain to him some more as kids sometimes decipher what we say as 'Blah, Blah, Blah' you know, just like when the misses is waffling.
You know, my father has been gone for nearly 4 years now, and I finally understand. I have mentioned before, but after sitting down for three days with my mother, the realisation that he had PTSD all makes sense.
Listen to these symptoms from a child's perspective.
He used to get angry real easy and at the smallest things.
We never really saw him laugh much or have a smile on his face.
He used to work 18 hours a day (he was a policeman who worked isolated single man police stations).
When we were planning vacations, he would make every excuse in the world, then eventually go and enjoy himself.
When he retired he went straight into a business which went bankrupt. This almost killed him, so he isolated to the point he did not care whether mum was there or not.
He then pulled up stakes and moved 30 miles from the nearest small town. It was on a dirt road. Mum said he just used to sit in his chair and watch the grass grow.
In the end he must have new something was up as he bought a house just down the road from my brothers place and then went downhill for the next 10 years till he died. Alzheimers.
The saddest thing. He was a stubborn hard arse man who would not admit to anyone about his bad dreams or his anxiety etc. He told me some stories once I had joined the army. They were about times when he had to draw and fire his pistol. He told me stories of picking up pieces of bodies that were hit by trains and fishing floating bodies out of the ocean and rivers.
The doctors had him on heart medication for his rapid racing erratic heart beat (Anxiety)
His depression and anxiety also caused him to eat so he was a huge man.
I just wonder if he was diagnosed all those years ago whether it would have made any difference.
...........................So, I am going to try and be the best dad I can..................
