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Relationship Will He Come Back....the Likelihood?!

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Empath16

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:cry:Day 11 since the break up and Day 4 since he told me that he understood how I felt and he apologizes if he made me feel as if he wasted my time and lied to me, it was never his intentions, he truly cared and loved me.
...speaking in past tense, does that mean the love and care for me is no longer? Is it common for sufferers to lose feelings all together or is it just a numbing phase? Will those feelings he knows he has/once had ever return and make him want to seek me again?
I'm still dealing with the broken heart...still trying to wrap my head around this...as much as I educate myself on PTSD, my brain is still not fully communicating with my heart! I'm lost..!!!
What a time of year to get dumped...:cry:
#LonelyHolidays
 
Hello friend,

I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss :( I know that especially during this time of year, coping with heartbreak can be difficult. Have you been taking care of yourself despite this happening? Have you been outside lately, maybe hung out with some friends or family? I know that this can be difficult, which is why it's important to take care of yourself.

Unfortunately, no one has the answers to your question. It could be that he still does love you, but nonetheless, will not come around to dating you again. As heartbreaking as it is, it is vital that you must accept the possibility that he may not come back. If he does, then nothing is lost, only gained. If he doesn't but you expect him to, then the pain will last. I know it hurts. But it is important to not overthink words, and simply acknowledge that the current situation is that he is struggling, and that he needs time apart.

For many people, not solely individuals with PTSD, being in a relationship, especially once the honeymooning phase wears off, can become very, very stressful: the need for trust in one another, direct communication, understanding and setting boundaries regarding wants and needs can be very, very hard subjects to approach. I've read through your other topics, and it seems like your sufferer has gone through a very rough childhood, and chances are, it might be extremely difficult for him to put full faith in people in general. Every sufferer is different; some find it easy to put faith in a partner. For others, it may be the person they have the hardest time fully trusting, because ultimately, to trust a person is to make yourself vulnerable to them. And...well, with that vulnerability comes the possibility of being hurt. And for a PTSD sufferer, they've already gone through enough bullshit in their life...the idea of facing more pain is unbearable.

Sufferers all have different reactions when it comes to facing triggers. Some dissasociate from themselves. Others go completely numb. Others shut down and want to run from the world, especially loved ones - in a world that becomes abruptly dangerous, since loved ones are normally the first ones to try to approach them and show concern, they are the first ones to push away. There is no desire to be approached, they just want time to process.

I know that what you're going through must be very stressful. Know that you're not alone, friend, and I wish you the best. :hug:
 
(((Empath16))):hug:
Welcome to the Forum, and I am SO SORRY for your pain. It is the worst time of year for a breakup. Of course there is NO good time for that to happen.

It's hard to know what he is feeling, and why. Sometimes, we who are fighting with PTSD, don't have a clear sense of how we feel, especially during the holiday season.

You don't say how long you were together, but it doesn't really matter, pain is pain.

This site is full of AWESOME people, and you can learn a lot, and get good support, as you deal with the breakup. I hope you will find comfort in the way you need it.

Blessings to you,
AKJ
 
I am going through the exact same thing as well. It’s been three weeks since we last spoke and I’ve been trying to wait to see if he can come back around or should I just move on with my life. I’ve started concentrating on me more lately, but I still have time to focus on him as well. I sent him an email on Saturday evening with no reply, and I sent him an email this morning asking for forgiveness of something I did since his departure. I’m trying hard not to be over-bearing but at the same time, I want him to know that I’m still here for him. I believe that if you two are meant to be, then give him time to work through this period, he’ll return. If not, then make plans to move on; something I’m finding hard to do.
 
Going through this as well with my warrior. Three years of push-pull, same time each year. To say it is painful is an understatement; I miss him as my boyfriend (of course) but I miss my best friend even more.
 
B.J. said:
It’s like the death of a relative.
Click to expand...
It's exactly like a death! I've been through unexpected/traumatic close death (two of my best friends died exactly 1 year apart). So, when he pushes me away, blocks me, and isolates...I get triggered with my own mild PTSD and always go through the stages of loss/grief. Just like a death. Nice to know others feel the same.
 
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