Wish I Could Get An Emotional Support Dog.

[XvanoraX]

So a few times now I've looked at symptoms of PTSD and I have many of the symptoms.
In fact there were things I didn't even know were different about me as I have pretty much always been like this.
My abuse started when I was around 6 or 7.
I always knew there was something wrong with me, but just didn't know how or what it was.

I still haven't been to a dr to discuss it not a counsellor. I've tried, but every time I do I just can't say it, don't know how to bring it up, and worry about what will happen if I do.

My biggest issue would have to be during the night. I just can't fall asleep. I hear every tiny noise and the tiniest noise makes my heart race so badly. The past week had been really bad, I haven't been able to sleep until around 5 am and I have a toddler and am up the next morning most nights I've had max 3 hours.

To be honest the most frustrating part is that it could all be sorted just by being allowed to have a dog. When my parents got a dog when I was a teen I was actually able to get sleep and feel safe during the night! She was amazing and always knew when I was feeling scared or upset and woul instantly come over to me and know how to make me better. I actually felt safe being with her.
I've asked my landlord if I could get a dog and they declined over 'possible barking' which would upset my neighbour. I already know what breed is get and why and I get my carpets cleaned every 6 months and all.
I've been looking at moving but there's a few issues with that. There's hardly anything available right now and virtually none of them allow pets. The only ones that do are in an awful area that has shocking amounts of break ins, druggies, pedos and all. Which would just make my issues even worse!

I did look at some sites and if I do turn out to have ptsd, I still couldn't even get an assistance dog because they only give them to defence people with ptsd. I could get an emotional support dog, but the landlord can deny approval which id say they would. :(

I live in nsw Australia.
The laws in Victoria have apparently just changed to say a tenant is allowed to get a pet without the approval of a landlord.
I wish I had that here in nsw.

Sorry about the long vent.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I had entertained the thought of getting a dog to support my emotional needs, too, and I greatly admire those who are able to follow through in doing so. Animals can soothe me like no human ever could. I didn't grow up with dogs in the home, though. My parents tried to get us one, but the one they chose kept jumping on me and frightened me even more, so we ended up with a cat, instead.

Instead of getting a dog now that I can have my own, I tried easing into it by dog sitting for some friends to get used to the response-abilities. I quickly learned that even though I felt more than ready in my heart, and greatly benefited from their presence, I simply wasn't able to handle all that comes with it, like the random and regular vet bills, food expense, staying attentive enough to meet all of my own needs to be able to healthily care for another living thing, to be able to take it for walks multiple times a day, regardless of the weather, and to be able to take him/her everywhere I wish to go. Not to mention the pending thoughts of heartbreak when/if something ever happened to it. I ended up feeling more and more stressed over just the thought and have since decided to continue to fur baby sit whenever I can for those small intermittent doses of that precious puppy love. I have a friend who lets me visit whenever I need that connection. Priceless, indeed. But yeah, I have to admit, it would be nice to not have to venture out to find that comfort.

Hope you get it figured out so you can benefit from what you know that clearly helps. It's incredibly frustrating to have to work our way through all the obstacle courses only to be smacked back down by various policies and procedures (like with the landlord) once we figure things out for ourselves.

 

[XvanoraX]

I feel like it would greatly help my stress, anxiety and hyper vigilance as I'd feel much safer and not feel so on edge and feel like I need to hear everything little thing to be ready for anything as I would feel like my dog would let me know if something is actually wrong or if someone has entered the property.
Barking for me doesn't upset me. I'm much more reactive to a tiny sound like the house creaking or my side gate clanging than a dog barking or alerting me to something like someone being at the door.

And I'd be very thorough with training so I've thought about other ways a dog I
Can learn to alert you without barking, some assistance dogs won't bark at someone at the door and instead will go to their owner and take the owner to fmtge door.
But I also think I would teach my dog to bark on command so if I feel unsafe over anything I can have my dog by my side and tell it to bark to want anyone.

I would train my dog not to jump, like we did with the family dog. She learnt very quickly and was very good.
But even when she was learning it she knew straight away when I was feeling irritable, anxieous, upset etc and would straight away drop the playful mood and snuggle right up.

That's so lovely that you do have that option though so it's there when you need it!

I'm trying to find out some more information in the laws regarding emotional support animals.
I wish the tenancy laws were the same as assurance dogs. :(

 

[Sideways]

They've recently changed the tenancy laws in Qld as well...

If you're willing to do the training yourself, then an Assistance Dog is a real possibility- look at Mind Dogs. I think they're not accepting new applications till September, but they are still working with potential applicants and if you get a puppy (which is best - pick a quiet breed, and take it to puppy school at your get for great tips on things like keeping dogs quiet!) it will take a while for the puppy to reach 1 year d to be ready for his trainee jacket anyway.

Why did I statt there? Partly because if you already know what your like with dogs, then yes, a dog is very likely to change your life, not just your sleeping. And my landlord originally said "No" to me getting a dog as well (and I live in a studio with only a patio and no "yard").

I worked backwards. I got my application ready, my funds ready, and my treating team onside. Landlords aren't able to say No to an assistance dog, so (1) got my pdoc to provide a medical certificate saying my PTSD meant I needed an Assistance Dog; and (2) got my then T to provide a statement about all the ways I'd demonstrated that I was going to be a responsible dog owner, and we had a meeting with the landlord to present our case.

The only difficulty for me ended up being the other tenants, and plain ol jealousy. They can't have a dog and see me with one, and they're itching to make any and every complaint possible, so my dog has to basically be perfect all the time.

You don't have a doc now, and I understand your reasons. They're common. Would you be open to seeing a doctor to getting help with your symptoms, without talking about your trauma at this stage? A pdoc with trauma experience will understand that, and should be able to help meaningfully improve your life, even without the trauma detas. Things like getting an assistance dog.

Guide Dogs are another option. Some dogs fall short but still pass the public access test, some people get sponsorship from their local Rotary, one chick I know even got her dog from a blind lady who passed away. There are options.

I'd also suggest keeping an open mind about moving, and being ready to negotiate. It's not a quick solution, but then, you're aiming for a complete lifestyle overhaul so it could be worth it in the long run. If you're ready to offer more deposit than 2 weeks in advance or slightly higher rent than they're asking on the basis that you're allowed a dog under 10 kgs, Bingo!

Share housing temporarily is another option. They're waaay more relaxed about the rules, and plenty already have a cat or dog living there under the radar. Again, be ready to negotiate with the tenants. Negotiations are sooo helpful in today's rental market.

Finally, Dept of Housing. Are you eligible? If so, pets under 10kg are often totally optional. It's a case of getting your application in, then approaching community organisations to help you side-step the waiting list.

Sorry for the long post. It's just, I totally hear you, and went through all this myself not long ago and man, Buddy has changed my life beyond my wildest comprehension:

 

[Wendy]

Are you able to get a cat? I have two cats that I've had since they were kittens and they sleep with me, cuddle with me while I watch tv, etc. They help me so much with my dark moods and depression. Also, I use a portable fan when I got to sleep at night and it provides the white noise background that helps me sleep. I wish you the best of luck!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I am owner training my dog to be my service dog. If you owner train, emerse yourself in training videos, DVDs, and books. Leerburg seems to the best help to me but Donna Hill on youtube is a service dog trainer. I also learn a lot from service dogs teams that vlog.

Understand that this isn't cheap. I am about $700 in. I didn't have an option and so I started with my 4 yr old pitbull that I had owned for 2 years. A puppy is most certianly the best to start with. Choose a breed with care. Make sure the breed can do all tasks you plan to train it to do. Make sure you research the breed throughly, can see the parents, can test the puppy as a service work canidate away from the litter mates and away from the breeders, and make sure the breeder will work with you. Be sure that this breeder breeds for the health of the breed and not for the money (stay away from backyard breeders).

Testing a puppy for service work (there are many youtube videos on this). Take the puppy just about 6 inches or so off the ground and let the puppy fall. Make sure it recovers well and quickly. Hold the puppy upside down in your arms to make sure it doesn't fight hard to get off its back. Make sure you can clap your hands and get the puppy to come back to you when its off distratcted smelling something. This isn't in the youtube videos but I'd make sure you can quickly engage the puppy in play as play drive is important. And then get some liver warst (spelling?) and make sure the puppy is intrested in food and if so put it under an upside down strainer to make sure the puppy is willing to work for food.

I would gain the letter for all Drs about needing a service dog. I dont know about adding tasks because I honestly only had a few in mind until I starting training and more and more came to mind that I really needed and now I have about 10. So being a comfort at night and alerting you to outside noises (and I'd add deep pressure therapy and maybe anxiety alerting to that and maybe even "block" and "cover" which is used to give you physical personal space, if you need that. Laying; or some do sitting or standing; between you and another/others) may be all you can think of right now but there may be may other things later that you realize you need help with. Certianly for PTSD all of that is "enough" and its not a must to have all tasks on a letter and most teams ive seen do later train other things but if you are trying to make a "good case" for your landlord, it may be a good idea, while researching and educating yourself about both basic & advanced dog training and also service dog training, that you learn about what other service dog's tasks are and think of what you will need (everything you will need) from a service dog. Task training is done in many little steps anyway.. Teenie tiny little steps that are put together slowly to then add up to the task.

Then approach your landlord with the letter and make your "case". Service dogs are more protected then ESA but you may not need a service dog and an ESA may better meet your needs. And that is super important. Don't jump to a service dog. Research it all. I was (and am) emersered in this well before I started it. Every waking hour. I have seen well over a thousand youtube videos, 3 DVDs, a VOD, and 4 books. Make sure what you are aiming for meets what you are needing.

My State Statue protects my service dog in training and advises they have the same rights as service dogs (the federal ADA doesn't say anything about them while in training). You are in a different country but it is worth learning what rights you have while in training.

It is also important, for a service dog, that it can pass, at least, the public access test. That is our hardest part. Being calm and ignoring others and focusing on me in public. But i am training an adult dog that was isolated with me for 2 years. A puppy is much easier.

And training is INTENSE. I train every single spare moment I have every day. You must understand it is a life long commitmemt as service dogs are in training for life and the intense training can last a year or even 2.

I am training my service dog in training to bark when someone knocks on the door but to stop, quiet and settle away from the door when I ask. I have trained him not to bark at any other noise but he does let me know if he thinks someone bad is outside by his body language and he will whine and pace the floor until i get up and then brings me to which ever door.

Anyway, sorry, I didnt mean to ramble. Talk with your Dr about whether you need an ESA or a SD (assistence dog) and research fully about both. Both are a commitment but Service dogs have the included intense training every day for a year or two which is a very physical commitment as well.

 

[illusionist]

I had 2 guinea pigs and found that they act as a fantastic ' extra pair of ears '......if they squeaked I knew that there was definitely someone moving within their vicinity....they lived at the top of the stairs in my tenement flat. I also had the added extra of finding them very calming while I petted them, bathed them, and groomed .....all you need is to clean their home every day and allow them exercise.....And obviously a healthy diet.

I had my plan ready......if they squeaked in the middle of the night when everyone was in bed, I would shout out " Bob!.....could you bring a cuppa with you, to bed! "....hopefully any intruder would run in fear of ' Bob ' being up and about.

 

[Sideways]

I'd recommend getting in touch with Mind Dogs. It can be a bit overwhelming and easily start to seem "too hard", but MD have helped tonnes of people with non-combat PTSD train their own dog to be a service dog, and they're very helpful even if you just have questions.

 

[XvanoraX]

Thank you so much for your comments, guys!

I've been thinking about it a lot for a while now and really feel a dog would be my best choice.
I feel safe with a dog around.
I feel like a break in is such a real possibility and I'm always ready for it to happen and need to listen so intently so that I'm ready for it and can straight away such as getting a knife and calling 000. But honestly I feel so scared that I will shut down. Unfortunately when something bad happens is really struggle to act, I can't even talk rudely to someone who is an evil person and a real danger to me. For example, my friend and I every Thursday we have dinner together and go to the local Woodford pizza place in my area of town.
Theblast time we went we were waiting outside for our pizzas. A guy inside really reminded me of a person from my past who is a major trigger to me. I just kept trying to shut it out, ignore it, I see so many people who look like him, its not him.
Then the guy walked out and smiled and said hi. I looked up, not really looking at him and just smiled and kept talking to my friend. Then he stopped and I instantly knew it was actually him. I immediately shut right down, my heart racing, felt like I was going to be sick, no where to go and my daughter was with me- who I never wanted him to even see let alone speak to! Thankfully my friend was into it and took my daughter inside the pizza place away from him. However that left me right there with him on my own making me feel even worse and even more stuck. But there was a couple nearby so I just made sure I was standing right by them as the jerk had deliberately stood in the doorway so I couldn't go in. He questioned me on where I was living, if I lived nearby etc. I said no. But today his wife and one of his sons drove by me walking to the cafe right by my house- like less than 5 minutes from my house! So now I haven't had decent sleep in a week and I definitely won't be sleeping and won't be able to leave the house now. I already have been feeling more unsafe leaving the house as it is but now I'm so scared they will find out where I live.
Sorry, I'm rambling.

When I asked my landlord the first time, I said I'm willing to pay a bond and that we could work out a price that we are both happy with. But nope. Again, their reason was 'possible barking'
The amount of dogs in our area that do bark, you wouldn't even know if my dog barks! And it would be with me all the time!
I'm trying to do as much research as I can right now. Mind digs looks brilliant! And I'm glad to hear they actually do cater to those with non-combat ptsd as it seems every other organisation only caters to those with ptsd from being in the defence.

I really don't know what exactly determines whether your ptsd would determine if you need an ESA or a SD. And most things that do come up are American which really isn't helpful.

I did find one thing, but can't find any information that elaborates what they say in regards to some ESA's not being allowed to be turned down!
I'll post the screenshot under this comment.

 

[XvanoraX]

[GALLERY=media, 4189]IMG_6087 by XvanoraX posted Feb 16, 2017 at 11:59 PM[/GALLERY]

 

[Sideways]

In Aus, the Disability Discrimination Act has been changed so that where they used to have Guide Dogs for the blind, they now have Assistance Dogs for whatever disability the handler has. They have the benefit that once they're certified, the only places the can't go are kitchens or surgery, and it's an offence to refuse entry anywhere public to the dog or handler. That includes public transport. You'd have to check the NSW laws about private tenancies, but Mind Dogs are NSW based and can answer all those questions (and they're super friendly!).

Emotional Suport Animals really is just a glorified title for "I need my dog with me" here in Aus. You don't have a right to take them anywhere. That said, my dog is still too young to be certified as an Assistance Dog, but he basically comes everywhere with me except Coles. He's small, clean, quiet, obedient, and cute (helps a lot), so no one has a problem with him. When people find out that he's going to be my Assistance Dog, they're usually incredibly supportive, even without me having to give any more info than that.

I found that once I had Buddy, he made such a difference to me being able to leave my apartment that I have the attitude that if he can't come, I can't go. So there's particular dog friendly coffee spots I use, I stick with a particular chemist, etc. It's a bit like having a child - you just make it work because you can't remember how you ever functioned without them!

Your landlord sounds pretty anti-dog. "It might bark" is an odd excuse, given "It might damage my property" seems like a more relevant concern.

Don't be disheartened though. This is a long term life change (and life is sooo much easier!), so if you decide to go ahead, things like "I need to move to make this happen" aren't such a bad thing. I certainly found that even just sorting my life to get a dog was a game changer, because it was like I was finally doing something for myself to really improve my quality of life. I haven't looked back.

There's at least hf a dozen CSA survivors that attend my Trauma Group therapy at intervals that have Assistance Dogs for their PTSD. So far, I'm yet to meet anyone who will tell you anything other than "It's the best thing I ever did for myself". The pdocs that treat patients involved in the trauma program will routinely encourage CSA survivors to get their dog accredited if they already have a pet. It makes that much difference.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I really don't know what exactly determines whether your ptsd would determine if you need an ESA or a SD.

Your needs.

A SD does services or tasks that the handler cannot do for themselves. So most know about guide dogs and mobilty dogs but for PTSD the biggest ones for me is Deep Pressure Therapy (DPT) which helps A TON to lower super high anxiety, stop disocissation, helps with the fear at night and REALLY helps me to fall asleep on super bad nights. I am requesting DPT from him almost every night lately.

He wakes me if I am having a nightmare and thats REALLY important as I am distructive in my sleep and hurt myself. Then he automatically does DPT until I fall back to sleep.

Then there is block and cover. And that is laying, sitting, or standing between you and others to give you a physical personal space.

There is alerting. My SDIT alerts to anxiety, frustration, and anger.

He also does many mobilty things but those are the "normal" or most used tasks when it comes to a PTSD SD. For me, I also use him to help me when it comes to a "gut instinct". I don't have one or rather my brain does that and its insane and exhausting so I watch his body language and he does that for me.

He comes over and lays his head on my lap which I call "comfort". I use that when I need anxiety help but its not high enough for DPT. Or if we are in an area where he can't get up on me.

I do want to stress that this is anxiety that meds do not help. Anxtiety and emotions that are there although i took my meds.

I am also training him to enter a dark area first and sort of walk in front of me (on command) to help me feel safe.

There are many I am sure I am missing for PTSD. He also does and will be trained for mobilty but thats another thing all together.

An ESA isn't trained to do anything. They are there to sit in your lap (or where ever) and be petted and loved on which helps you emotionally. Gives you emotional support. You can train it to do stuff or not bark but it isnt specifically trained to do anything for you.

So it depends on your needs. Do you need the dog to do things that you cannot for yourself or do you just need a dog to pet and love on and be there with you at night?

Just from reading, it sounds like an ESA or even just a pet dog would work for what you are needing but not sure of all of your needs. But that's the difference. Research is a big help of determining that and my therapist was the biggest help. We spoke a LOT about it. What my needs are and really, I didn't realize I had as many needs that I do.