Your Age Verse Your Therapists Age

[mrsps]

Just curious as to weather other people have a preference for a certain age group for their therapist? I am in my 30's and my T is in her 60's. All the T's I have seen have always been older as in my parents age and this is the age I prefer a T to be. I find it easier to talk to someone of this age.
I don't think I could see a T who was the same age as me as I would feel they were judging me all the time and I would feel like I wasn't good enough as in we are the same age and they are a therapist and I have done nothing with my life.
Do you have a preference or does it not bother you?

 

[Lucycat]

I have only ever had the one T. He is 5 days older than me. We get on well, and he never forgets my birthday as I never forget his.

 

[TXbandit]

My T is the same age and we have been through the same things so we "get" each other. She has been more of a friend than a therapist to be honest.

I would rather it be someone close to my own age. I spoke with a lady in her 60's (I am 29) that I was considering going to for therapy but it just bothered me for some reason. Not sure why. Maybe it was her attitude.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

My T last year was about 4 years younger than me. I am 31.I don't think age bothers me. I just want them to be empathic, experienced and understanding.

 

[desiderata310]

Mine is about 7 years older than me. It's kind of like talking to a big brother which has helped me in opening up a bit. I really appreciate that we are close in age. We have similar references in our world history which helps as well. Growing up in the same time period he "gets" what it was like during that time frame. Also: kinda nice that we have similar hobbies and when he plays the "age" card I get to call him out on that- and point out that he's not that much older than me. ok, yes. It's fun to watch HIM squirm for a change.

But seriously, I don't think I could handle seeing someone much older or younger. It would really bother me. personal preference. That's all.

 

[joeylittle]

Around my age. Older, too many parental associations. Younger, just feels strange.

 

[jaccat]

Mine's quite a lot older than me. I'm in her thirties, she's in her sixties I guess. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with someone the same age or younger tan me. I like the idea that she's had a fair amount of life experience. With people my age I often feel a lot older than them!

 

[ihateusernames]

Our marriage counselor was in her 60s. I'm approaching mid 30s and my husband is in his early 40s. We got along fine with her. It wasn't weird.

But then this last individual therapist I went to was also older, 67 if I remember correctly, and I felt like I couldn't talk to her. It felt too much like talking to my grandma or something so I would skirt around things and try to present everything in a positive light because I didn't want to upset her. So I don't know. I believe the woman I'm supposed to start seeing this week is right around my age, maybe a little younger. I think that will probably work better for me.

 

[GWhizz]

My last T was late 50's and I preferred this (about my parents age too) as she was very nurturing and had that life experience I felt was helpful to guide me like a parent may. My new T is late 30's or early 40's and so about 10-15years older than me. It is like an older sibling relationship but I would say I prefer the parent age for a therapist. It does come down to the individual moreso though than age at the end of the day.

 

[Biz]

I'm 27. My last therapist was mid 30s, my current is early 30s too. Being queer, I feel like I related better to a younger age group. Plus, I don't get along with my parents well so I don't think a parental age would be helpful for me. My reiki practioner is in her early 40s and that sometimes feels parental in a good way (as my friend recently pointed she'd be the age my parents were when they were failing and I was little).

 

[falling_wave]

I have had a T about 20 years older than me and another one 35 years older than me. I work so much better with and made more progress with the one 35 years older than me.

 

[Trytosmile]

I'm in my early 20s and my T is 36, this works well for me. I'd definitely struggle with someone near my own age as I would probably compare aspects of my life which would leave me feeling inadequate. On the other hand I've had an older therapist before (late 50s) who I thought I'd struggle to work with, yet turned out to be great. I guess when you find a therapist you work well with, age becomes less of a factor.