Your Age Verse Your Therapists Age

[Friday]

Looking back at therapists & attempted therapists over the years... Age has been wholly unimportant. Experience has been vital. They need to know more than me. Pure and simple.

 

[Deleted member 29961]

I'm in her thirties

If you are in her thirties, who is in your thirties?:playful:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I prefer a therapist who is slightly older. I feel awkward seeing someone who is practically just out of school. An older therapist is only an issue if she somehow reminds me of my mother. (That has only happened once though.)

 

[mrsps]

I like having an older Therapist as I like the "mother like" relationship because I didn't have that with my mother.

 

[jaccat]

@Jigsaw Puzzle whoops! In my defence I was very tired when I wrote that!

 

[watundah]

Mine is 2 years older. I like the fact that we're peers in that way - can share generational references, similarly life experiences, even musical references. I'm not sure I would do well with a big age gap in either direction. There is something maternal about her still but I think that goes with the territory.

 

[Lucycat]

How do y'all know your therapist's age? ..

Because when I very first saw him he asked if I was telling the truth. He thought somehow I knew his date of birth and was copying it. Mine being just 5 days later. Pure coincidence but never to be forgotten ever since. Tomorrow he will be a year older than me .... For 5 days and then I catch up.

 

[barefoot]

My therapist is six years older than me. She asked me a while back how old I was - I think we were talking about something age-related and it was in context, so it didn't seem odd or rude that she'd asked and I was happy to tell her. But then I did rather cheekily seize the moment and ask how old she was and she laughed then told me.

She's the first therapist I've had and I think if you'd have asked me before I started therapy how old my ideal therapist would be, I'd have probably said quite a bit older than me (maybe 15 years older or something). But actually I've never really thought about our age difference and it feels ok.

I don't think I'd choose to see someone younger than me, which is partly because I don't have many people in my life you are younger than me (I've often had older friends etc) o it would feel a bit alien. Also, I think if she were younger than me, I'd have more questions around her experience and credibility. And I know this is just a personal preference/judgement on my part.

 

[girlscout]

I'm not confident that I have an age preference, but this past winter when I sought out therapy for the first time on my own as an adult, I definitely had clear hopes that the person was not "a really old lady" :wacky: as I phrased it in my mind. As a teenager my parents had me in therapy and psychiatry and both of them were at least 55 years older than me at the time! I didn't take treatment seriously at that age :rolleyes:, so I can't argue whether I had a preference or not, but I think I prefer someone older by like 10-15 years at most. Although, I remember my psychiatrist when I was a teen was about 80 and he was so rad! A very cool old guy. :laugh:
My current T has a masters but seems quite young. I'm assuming she's in her mid- thirties. And we work well together.

 

[LF1]

Hmmm, I think I prefer older but wouldn't necessarily have to be a lot older. I do like the idea of someone with some wisdom and a fair bit of life experience. I think I would be really uncomfortable telling my life to someone who hadn't experienced much (it doesn't have to be trauma, just life with it's ups and downs). That said, if they were an exceptional T I don't think age or life experience would worry me too much, or if it did I'd get over it pretty quick.

I don't know how old my T is and I'm wary guessing LOL because I know I suck at guessing ages. I will guess though and say she's somewhere between late 40s and mid 50s (but I may be way off!).

 

[Born to Run]

I believe there is a logical correlation between age and experience. My therapists in the past have always been older than me, and this was not on purpose, just by referrals that indicated those therapists to be very good. For the trauma work I found the gender of the therapist the most important, but only to realize this during therapy.

 

[Changing4Best]

I am in my early 60s and my therapist is in her 40s, I think. I don't think I could find one that is much older than I am! Most older folks about my age and beyond would probably be retired. I know sometimes that I probably see things in a way that she is not yet able to see things, but for the most part, I think she tracks with me pretty well. I have no real awareness of her age when I see her. In fact, I think this is the first time I have considered her age consciously.