I always wanted older therapists too because I thought they would have more experience. And I wanted them to be psychotherapists: higher educted then 'just' a psychologist. Because I had had so many awful experiences with psychologists in my past. The last 6 years I had two older woman and I had so much trouble with them! I didn't trust them anymore and they didn't know what to do with me. (they said). I think I might have projected my mother on them. I didn't trust them because I had the idea that they didn't understand me. (because of things they did in the therapy). I stopped the last therapy (after three years she said she couldn't learn me anything anymore and that I should quit therapy all together... Stupid woman... That she can't help me doesn't mean that another form of therapy/ help can't help me, but apparently some T's think that, wich irritates me immensily) Anyway I'd lost a lot of hope in ever being able to heal further because of this but because I didn't reach my goals and still have too much issues in my daily life with the C-ptsd I went to another place. This younger woman did the intake. And she was around my age, I think only a few years older. (I was 32 then, now getting 34). And she was a psychologist: exactly what I didn't want. But she had something about her that I hadn't seen in many years. She seemed so sweet and caring, but not weak or something. ( I can't use a T of which I thing they can't handle me...) Really sympathetic and it FELT good. Before I didn't listen to my feelings at all... (I wish I had because I'd left sooner with the other T's). So in the end when they could help me there she asked if I wanted her to be her T or an older woman, for that I had to go to another location. But I chose her, I went for my feeling the first time. And I am soooo happy about that now! She understands me really well and has helped me so much better then the others have.
So yes I think someone needs experience. I wouldn't want someone who is a lot younger then I am: but it's also what someone 'radiates' (don't know the word in English) you know the non verbal things. I still don't know how old she is. It's like I want to compare myself to her anyway: if she'd be 40 or something like that would be a relief to me. Because if she would be around my age I think I would feel less worthy: because I'm not that far as she is. I might feel more like a loser or something. Which is wrong, but I think that's how it works. There's also a T there of my age and I'd never want her to be my T. (when my T is on holiday you can go to a collegua) But I'd rather not. I don't want some little girl telling me how to get trough my traumas while she herself might have been through nothing and just learned it out of books. It sounds not nice that I say this but that's the idea that I have with a lot of T's. Maybe the good T's have been through a lot themselves? Otherwise you don't understand it I sometimes think?
So yes I think someone needs experience. I wouldn't want someone who is a lot younger then I am: but it's also what someone 'radiates' (don't know the word in English) you know the non verbal things. I still don't know how old she is. It's like I want to compare myself to her anyway: if she'd be 40 or something like that would be a relief to me. Because if she would be around my age I think I would feel less worthy: because I'm not that far as she is. I might feel more like a loser or something. Which is wrong, but I think that's how it works. There's also a T there of my age and I'd never want her to be my T. (when my T is on holiday you can go to a collegua) But I'd rather not. I don't want some little girl telling me how to get trough my traumas while she herself might have been through nothing and just learned it out of books. It sounds not nice that I say this but that's the idea that I have with a lot of T's. Maybe the good T's have been through a lot themselves? Otherwise you don't understand it I sometimes think?
