How Do People Do This?

[Casey_03]

The euphoria of having my baby has passed and now turned into self doubt as I realize how incredibly difficult this is going to be. He NEVER stops crying. EVER. When I was in the hospital, I took him to the pediatrician to ask if something was wrong -- she said no, that he's just collicky. But still, every time he screams it sounds like he's in such agony that I can't take it. I feed him every three hours,a nd I also have to drain my breasts of milk every three hours, 24/7. That means I don't sleep, at all. I am shaky and weak all the time from not sleeping, constant headaches. I don't know how I am supposed to recover from the delivery if I never sleep? To make matters worse I still have this kidney tube drain thing in, and it seems something is wrong with it and my kidney is getting worse. So no sleep is not good when trying to recover from two operations. That's all not even mentioning the fact I have no time to clean or run errands or do any other thing that mothers are expected to do. I'm completely overwhelmed and I honestly have no idea how anybody does this. All I do is try to make the baby stop crying, 24/7. I feed him, he seems calm, I lay him down to sleep and he starts screaming two minutes later. I pick him up, try to comfort him, it doesn't work. He'll calm down maybe 30 minutes later so I'll lay him down again -- only for the shrieking to start again within 3 minutes. It's like this 24/7. I've started just breaking down and sobbing every time he starts crying. I don't see how I can continue doing this every day on no sleep and in such a weak physical condition. How does anybody do this?!?! I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't expect it to be downright impossible

 

[hodge]

Omg, Casey! I am so sorry your baby is so difficult. I truly don't know how anyone does this, as I've never had a baby, sorry. Wish I could help, but basically all I can do is sympathize. I am sure others who are more experienced will respond. It does sound, however, as if you have a very high-maintenance baby. Something like our granddaughter. I know your baby is an enormous priority, but please get yourself to a doctor about your kidney. That sounds very serious. I'm praying for you, it's all I can do.

 

[trying2movefwd]

Casey, My son was colicky as a baby too. It was very difficult. At one point I laid him in his crib, went outside into my field and just screamed and cried. I went back in to screaming baby, picked him up to hold him again. Its not easy. I don't know how I did it...I just know I did. It feels like an eternity in the midst of the screaming, but babies grow out of colic. Im sorry you are experiencing this.

 

[Sideways]

My sister had colic. Mum said that she'd have my sister in one arm and vaccuum with the other and my sister would stop crying. Taking her for a drive also helped, but perhaps not in your physical state.

Please take care of yourself.

 

[hodge]

Hmm, this reminds me . . . I was a difficult collicky baby. My parents would drive me around at night and that would put me to sleep. Don't know if this will help, but just thought I'd throw it out there just in case.

 

[hodge]

Yes, Ragdoll had a good point. You might not be in good shape to drive the baby around. But you are the best judge of that. Just saying it worked for my parents. Maybe even a taxi once in a while?

Also, keep in mind -- this won't last forever. I have no idea how long it will last, but I know it won't be forever.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I do remember the vaccuum working to calm him sometimes now that you mention it.

 

[hodge]

Wow, that is so interesting about the vacuum, you guys, because to me that sound is so incredibly annoying if you are not the one vacuuming. But, whatever works!!

 

[mary1979]

They always say colic, rolls eyes.

He is sensing your panic more likely.
You NEED support.
Mothers are built to take a lot, but not alone.

Forget the house work, forget everything except food and sleep.
Lay with him, sleep with him.
Dont expect so much of yourself this soon.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I cant have kids but I did care for a colicky baby until he was 4 months old. Obviously he was formula but to give yourself a break, get a massager breast pump (has to be the massaging type or you will dry up, or my friend's daughter did) and pump as much as you can and feed him out of the bottle. You should be making more than he needs so pump it all in bottles. And the endless story i will never stop hearing about is when I was in the Nicu, my mom pumped and then froze it and my dad would bring the frozen breasr milk to the hospital.

The two things that calmed him down was to be put over my shoulder, gentley rock and sang to him. Very soft gently singing tones while slowly rubbing his back (worked most of the time).

The other thing he liked was id be sitting, legs together, id place him on his tummy on my legs with his face being able to see between my legs (postion is hard to explain) and then id gently sway my legs back and forth and slowly up and down, sometimes slow short fast up and down to make almost a vibration.

I know this is hard but you can do it. Here's something that might help some:

http://www.parents.com/baby/care/colic/how-to-soothe-a-colicky-baby/

 

[Naive_Pixie]

Hey Casey,

Firstly, being a mum is the hardest job in the world - so be proud for taking it on. Secondly, wow - I dont know how you manage while recovering from two operations!

I feel for you! I'm a mum of 2. My first was a breeze. Slept right through the night at 6 weeks. My second was a different story. The only thing that got her to sleep was being pushed around in the pram for hours, she had reflux and colic. I had natural births so I can't imagine how difficult it must be coping with all of that.

I can promise you though, it does and will get easier. Colic doesnt stay around forever and crying babies do learn to talk! Is there any family members or friends around who could help you out just so you can get a little sleep?

Being a mum is never easy, it has its ups and downs, and the first three months are always difficult - especially as there's no manual for raising children.

I hope you and your precious wee one get some sleep soon!

- Pixie

 

[Naive_Pixie]

Also, my housework is almost never done. As a new mum, sleep is so much more important. I don't know how other mums pull it off so perfectly, but I have had to learn not to sweat the house etc and my youngest is 2! It's still almost never all done. As long as you and baby are warm, fed, and happy that's the important thing. Also avoid eating spicy food and green leafy vegetables such as spinach, broccoli and silver beet. Could also try reducing your dairy intake. Sometimes those foods when passed through the milk can cause colic. I hope that's helpful!