How Do People Do This?

[Sighs]

Try and keep him upright as much as possible.

This ^^^^.

My daughter was "colicky" until they discovered she actually had a hiatus hernia and her little oesophagus was pitted and scarred from burns due to stomach acid. The only way I could get her to sleep at all was resting on someone's chest as they were sitting in a chair - and by someone I mean me as her father was useless. Turns out your body can get used to sleeping in 30 minute stretches in a chair for months on end. I was recovering from a nasty c-section with a torn uterus but my kidneys were ok so I hope that your body is strong enough to cope. Hugs if you accept them.

Try propping up one end of his bed so that he is not lying flat. I used phone books under the mattress of the bassinet. It helped a bit.

 

[Mytime]

A lot of great advice so I would just like to add. All three of my kids were lactose intolerant. So eliminating milk ect from diet helped. I had a hard time with breast-feeding. So I would do both breast milk, and formula. One thing my oldest child loved was a swing. I would put him in the swing beside me on the couch and when he slept in the swing I slept on the couch. You could also check with the chiropractor to make sure everything is OK. My cousin son had a dislocated shoulder due to childbirth. Wishing you the best.

 

[blackemerald1]

My 2nd son was Lactose intolerant. He was lacking Lactase which breaks down the protein in milk (breast). I had a terrible birth experience, both of us almost died. Me from blood loss & him from foetal distress. I was completely alone. Nobody at all to help.
Sounds like baby is lactose intolerant. After 12 months I got to a paediatrician. I was so sleep deprived I was insane. Paediatrician took one look at his nappy & gave me a script for baby to allow him to pass wind & slow down peristaltic action of the bowel. I had to cut out All diary produce, even anything with 'milk solid' additives.
This is how it works. You eat something made of cow milk, the Protein is passed to your breast milk. Baby drink's this, cannot break down the Lactose (sugar), it is sent to baby's intestine's, some good things are absorbed but not the Lactose. Lactase is missing in baby's gut to break it down. Lactose, being a sugar, ferments in the intestine & creates gas (very painful for baby)! Sugar in baby's intestine actually draws fluid out of intestinal walls creating diarrhoea. Creating very loose motions. Baby becomes thirsty and is in terrible pain. Baby screams, rarely sleeps & is wanting to drink again. Starting the whole terrifyingly bad cycle over again. And on it goes.

These are the things I did which helped a little (till he was diagnosed). I used a baby sling strapping him to my chest. Yes this is how I managed to calm him, feed him & get things done.

Open button down shirts & pajama tops are a miracle! So he could feed, snuggle down, sleep, burp, fart & he rarely regurgitated in this position.

Please make sure you alternate between breasts at each & every feed. Try & time it a few minutes each side every feed till he is full.

Keeping him upright seemed to assist but I don't know why.

Sleep with baby in your bed. Forget the crib till you are through this phase. Pillows on outer edge on baby's side & feed on demand. Don't bother with bottles & all that stuff. If he is feeding from you well, keep it up. Don't pump out more milk than he drink's. It take's 4 - 6 weeks for baby to settle & drink from each breast what he need's. Mothers naturally make more milk till baby catches up & your body adjusts to demand. It takes about the same time for your mammary glands above the nipples to strengthen to hold back milk till it is needed. Just use terry towelling rag's shaped in a rough circle cut from towels slightly larger than a egg ring. Don't use plastic backed 'absorbing pad's' as they may make your nipples sore & cracked & they are sooo expensive.

When you get a nanny, you can increase milk supply easily by 'expressing' milk via pump for your baby to drink from a bottle very quickly. (Matter of days for your body to respond)

Pile towels, nappies & 2 large buckets with lid's, along with cleaning need's for baby within reach so you can feed him, change him & sleep with him & get some rest for some of the day & night. Sleep with large absorbing towels under your chest stretched across to under baby so you don't have leaks from your breasts or from sloppy motions making a mess whereby you have to change the whole bed. Use one bucket lined with a garbage bag (assuming here you are using disposable nappies & wipes for your baby& your hand's)

Change after you feed him.

Use other bucket bucket for towels, nipple rags & baby's clothes that are not soiled.

Keep a large jug of water next to you & drink at least a glass after feeding & whenever you can in between.

Baby may respond to having his legs raised towards his tummy gently or as explained above raised in a gentle cycling manner. But, be prepared for this to be a short term fix to help ease his pain. I sang softly (if I had the energy).

What made me feel bad was my baby was not diagnosed till he was 12mths old. He gained weight but until I demanded a referral to a peadtrician because NOBODY believed me when I told them he cried no, screamed ALL the time!! No! They told me so many stupid things I won't waste your energy listing them.

Don't suffer, yes new born baby's do take time to settle down. But if yours will not sleep or settle down to a routine within a month get it checked out.

Not many breast fed 'on demand' baby's sleep 4 hrly anyway. But if you suspect he is Lactose intolerant, get it checked out sooner than later. I reflect upon my own ignorance with horror that my little one suffered so much and so needlessly, till I acted out of instinct.

I truly understand how sleep deprived & exhausted & physically weak & lonely you may be feeling @Casey_03.

Follow your instincts, they are there.

It's pure unromantic bloody drudgery till you settle. Work out what works & what doesn't.

I worked full time, breast fed & did it alone. It's hard work, but it is doable.

Hey the little bugger's grow out of it by the way!

Oh forget all unnecessary house work till you & babe settle down. Nobody but ignorant idiots would expect anything but general hygiene right now!

 

[blackemerald1]

Oh just to lighten up things, I was expressing milk at work & storing it in the work fridge. It was in a glass bottle with two caps on it, my name and a bold label saying "Please do not drink"
The routine for every shift was the morning crew bought bread & 2 Litre's of milk for all incoming personnel. They got paid to do it & were reimbursed. Everyone did it if you were the first crew for the day! No biggie milk bar was less than 100 metres away!

I told noone I was breast feeding my baby or, expressing milk for the baby sitter the next day. Why? Because I would have been bullied & harassed. But, I had to do it & keep the milk in the fridge at work. I had to express my milk in the female toilet as there was no other private place to do it. So over the course of my shift I ended up with about 1 litre of milk, MY MILK.

One afternoon I walked into the lunch room to grab my bottle of milk & it wasn't there! I raced to the female toilet thinking f*ck I have left it out, forgotten to put it back after my last 'top up'. It wasn't there! I ran back to the fridge to check again. No! It was not there!
I noticed my male colleagues sitting with smug looks on their face's & my milk sitting almost completely empty on the table.They were all having a cup of coffee.

I grabbed my bottle & put it in the fridge. I asked why they had drunk my milk.

I got a tongue lashing about "Who do you think you are & a shit load of abuse about me daring to have my own milk!"

I explained at least 3 time's, it was MY MILK. This did not register. Finally I calmly told these lazy bastard's exactly what they were drinking.

The fall out was huge. I was reported, investigated, told I was a sick bitch & worse.

Nobody touched my milk again though lol.

But they smashed my cup in retaliation!

Those were the day's.
Sad but true. (Sigh...)

 

[Casey_03]

@blackemerald1 Ha, that sounds like something straight out of a movie.... They got what they deserved though! I've had nightmares about a similar thing happening and my roommate drinking my milk, but luckily, I work from home so don't have to worry about stupid co-workers. I've since stopped breastfeeding, but I had been on a strict diet from the moment he was born - no dairy at all. So I don't think he's lactose intolerant. The hospital was very strict in warning me about that possibility, so I hadn't touched dairy at all. Now that he's on formula he still gets collicky but I am finding ways to deal with it and calm him down at least 60% of the time. So, hopefully he will calm down soon. @Mytime Thanks, I like the swing idea - it does seem to help him when i bounce him around or dance with him. I will just collect as many tools as I can to deal with his little fits and hopefully we will both get settled into a better routine ...

 

[GWhizz]

Forgive me if I'm repeating previously mentioned advice but I haven't read this entire thread - because I'm super busy with my own 2 boys! I have 2 year old and 4 month old sons. My first was by far my hardest and I'm sure I made all the mistakes in the book. Although my 4 month old is pretty demanding also, I was equipped with a few tricks up my sleeve. The best one was babywearing. I see you have a kidney issue so not sure how possible that is right now but I had a complicated postnatal period of ill health and I was able to utilise that. I dunno how I did it on my first but I exclusively breastfed him until a year and even though it's killing me half the time, I've gotten this far on my 4 month old. I can promise you that it goes so so quickly, in the blink of an eye you'll be looking back and laughing. My GP promised me on my first that the human brain is designed to forget and minimise this period. I didn't believe him but I did have a second so that says it all! Lots of music, coffee and photographing the good moments got me through.

Congrats and well done this far. Babies just need lots of help, some moreso than others. It's heartbreaking feeling helpless but believe me your son is comforted by your presence alone and in your constant efforts to soothe him.

 

[Powder]

Birth is traumatic, and any reaction on baby's part is just his way of processing it.

Could be allergic to anything at all that you eat. Garlic is incredibly, incredibly bad in breast milk or food for children until a certain age; found that out the hard way!

First child is a humbling experience all around. Still made some rookie mistakes with second child 10 years later.

Point is, you're learning and trying. Pat on the back, good Mom, you are.

 

[ladee]

@Casey_03, I have nothing to offer that hasn't already been shared... but I do hope we get to see a picture of little man... we have been with you all this time... I feel like a granny.. I know, so why don't I hop on a plane and come and help !!! Wish I could. You have had nothing but struggles from the beginning, and here you are, a mom.. how awesome for you... hope all this hasn't stopped the bonding... it's hard when the baby cries all the time... but wishing I was there to help and to hold him all the time...Gentle hugs for both of you.

 

[Casey_03]

Here's little man ))))))))))))

 

[ladee]

Ohhhh @Casey_03, I am crying tears of joy!!!! He is so tiny, so precious.... want to give him gentle kisses on his little head !!! Thank you so much for posting a pic of Little Man !!! Happy he is sleeping too !!! Just want to gush and carry on, I turn into a fool around babies... thanks again..hugs to both of you !!!

 

[Ellabella44]

awww hes adorable!!! asleep is when they are at their cutest

 

[GWhizz]

Ah he looks super content. Just wondering if you've tried swaddling as I noticed free arms in the pic? Made life so much easier with my 4 month old as it gives them the comfort and tightness they felt in the womb. Oh and I also have had to cut gluten and dairy from my diet while breastfeeding. My 2 year old is still intolerant of both. But I can tell you he's always loved garlic!!