Relationship Need Advice/opinion On Relationship With A Marine W/ Ptsd

[hbs1227]

A few years ago I met this guy. He is a Marine, who was out of the military for a couple of years when we met. We had a world wind romance. We fell in love and got engages, a few months later I became pregnant with our daughter. Fast-forward 3 months or so I have been noticing something was off with him but wasn't really sure. A life changing event happens with him. Which I later found out that he was coping with his ptsd with weed and over the counter drugs. He fell back over the wagon 2 times and I said thats it we are done. Mean while the first two years of our daughters life he wasnt involved. I was the main supports emotionally and financially. For the past year he has been focusing on getting himself well. He has been going to meeting a couple times a week. As well as seeing the doctors/psychologist to make sure the medicine for his nightmares are working and what not. He is now finally involved in his daughters life. Seems like things are really going in a positive direction. He has been clean for about a year id say. My daughter is finally starting to know and understand the name "Daddy". Now here comes my delema. Feelings are starting to pop up and again. The way he is now is the I remembered him when I was falling in love with him in the beginning of our relationship.

For people that are in relationships/married to someone who has ptsd, can a relationship survive this? My reservation about not wanting to move forward for the fact that he can go back to his old ways. I think he still has some things to prove to me to break the wall down. Im feeling really optimist but I also feel like a need a reality check as well. Its stupid. No matter how many articles you read to learn everything you possibly can know. I feel like I need to hear from a season vet on the whole subject of being with someone with ptsd.

Anything will help. I appreciate any advice.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It is possible to have a healthy relationship with a PTSD sufferer. It only works if both partners are committed to being healthy, working on the relationship, and setting/respecting boundaries.

It's not a picnic all the time for sure. The times when they are really symptomatic are rough on everybody. Some relationships can't survive this.

The best start is to educate yourself on PTSD as much as possible, and get some support for YOU.

 

[Toot]

I have a friend that went through something similar. The guy went some place for rehabilitation for this very thing. I will try to find out more. As far as I know they are doing well and I think there is hope for you. My question...are you willing to move forward with whatever it takes? Or do you feel like it's too much for you to handle and just want to move on?

 

[hbs1227]

I have a friend that went through something similar. The guy went some place for rehabilitation for this v...

I dont think its too much to handle. I think we need to rebuilt our relationship back up before any big decisions will be made. My concern is that he will fall back to old ways but I guess that will be the risk I would have to live with if I decide to go back with him.

 

[Sweetpea76]

My concern is that he will fall back to old ways but I guess that will be the risk I would have to live with if I decide to go back with him.

That's the rub. There is no cure for PTSD. It's permanent. It can be managed over time, but there's no knowing when he may be symptomatic.

 

[hbs1227]

This is true! I guess when the time comes I will just have to make that decision. Thanks for all the advice so far!!!!

 

[JM318]

I contacted my friends mother recently since going through another period of isolation with my veteran. She has dealt with PTSD with her husband for over a decade and told me it takes a strong person to be in her shoes but it can be done, if you are willing to stick by their side. I asked her how long it's been since he's had symptoms (or the longest period) and she said about 5-6 years. She said his father's death recently put him into isolation mode again but she knew how to handle it and knew exactly what was going on. So like everyone says, educate yourselves and be aware and understanding.