Recent Cognitive Therapy Experience And Friendship

[X360pt]

Hello everyone,

I am here to share the experience I've had by speaking to a therapist.

For the past 6 weeks, knowing that every Friday I could count on this person to listen to me rambling on about my weekly diary and understand my on going problems has been extremely helpful, to the point that once each session was complete i would feel so much better. It has been an amazing journey.

Friendship part

So today I had my last session with the T which I felt a connection with. Before this session, I had on my mind that I had to ask the T how they would feel/respond towards friendship.

After reading up on forums I had an idea of the outcome.

Before leaving , I asked the Q, the answer was due to professional reasons this was impossible to mix, Which I fully understood however i could help the mutual connection that existed. We're human being after all. We talked for a little regarding this...

After saying the last goodbye, and each going their own way , I got a little upset and had a strong feeling that the T wanted to go somewhere but because they saw me (sobbing) the T didn't enter the location I was in , I guess this can be interpreted both ways either they didn't care much or they did and didn't want to get upset too!

Moving on…

I didn't leave without writing a short note directed to my T to express my gratitude and so on. I feel as do this was a nice touch and they would very much appreciate it. I am not gonna expect a reply purely because I will feel bad if I don't.

What's people's opinions on having these feelings/emotions?

Do I just need to grow up? Move on and accept we will most likely never be friends due to the circumstances?

Either way, i was referred to another department. But planning on perhaps retuning with the same therapy as I feel as do I have more to learn from it.

 

[There's Only 1]

Hi and welcome to a safe place. I just joined a few days ago and it has helped a lot already. I remember a similar situation when my first T retired but it was a boundary issue with her and I have now come to understand that it is important not to become dependent/codependent or too attached. This may trigger old issues/memories. Good luck with your decision.....

 

[X360pt]

Hi and welcome to a safe place. I just joined a few days ago and it has helped a lot already. I...

This has been my first one to one T, therefore I didn't quite know what it would be like to end the sessions. Never did i know I'd feel this way. I do however feel "happier" by asking the Q instead of leaving and then thinking, oh perhaps we could have been friends etc.

It's so difficult, especially as a first T experience not to think of that person as a friend.

Who knows…

 

[Deleted member 29311]

Hello everyone,

I am here to share the experience I've had by speaking to a therapist.

For the past...

This really hits home for me honestly.

I've been there. I used to have severe OCD that destroyed my life (not the reason why I have PTSD though) and had to spend a lot of time every week at a mental hospital with a therapist. After nearly 2 years of seeing this person every week, I had to say goodbye and it made me extremely sad for a few days and I felt like I lost my best friend. It was extremely emotional and I'm not afraid to admit that I did cry, because I knew I was never going to see this person again and we had formed a really strong connection and friendship.

At the time I really didn't have any friends and this person also helped me get my life back, if it wasn't for the help I'd be dead. What you're feeling is completely normal, it also means that you have a heart and that you care for your therapist as a human being. You enjoy their company and formed a connection with them.

It's unfortunate that for professional reasons, therapists can't form a friendship outside of the business. Losing someone you care about hurts man I completely understand and feel for you.

Just give yourself time though, it'll most likely pass in a short period and you'll be able to look back at the whole thing simply as an experience.

 

[watundah]

Ugh. I don't know how you can *not* feel this was as the therapist has become an integral part of your life! I have crazy ideas about my T and I being friends someday as we have many things in common, but I know I shouldn't bank on it. It would be a weird transition.

As she made it clear that she cannot pursue a friendship, it's best to move on. Nothing to do with "growing up ". You had a real connection and now it is a genuine loss. Hopefully she has helped prep you for this change.

 

[X360pt]

This really hits home for me honestly.

I've been there. I used to have severe OCD that destroyed my life...

It's comforting reading your past experience. I only saw this person for 6 weeks! I can't imagine what I would be like if it was 2 years.

I personally began asking Q's about what the T would get up to throughout the week… hence why the connection and so on. I just felt the T was co-ordinating and I was very comfortable in letting go of my troubles.

May I just add, these sessions were totally free. I have nothing against other therapies that have to be paid , but just thought I'd point that out. One more reason to heighten the connection.

 

[X360pt]

Ugh. I don't know how you can *not* feel this was as the therapist has become an integral part of your...

The T too mentioned that nothing could be done in terms of friendship. But trying to understand this at the actual time and even now is a a tough one.

In terms of giving me advice on the aftermath of feeling like you've lost a really good friend for life… didn't really have that explained.

Maybe I will have another chat with this person again.

Thanks for the moral support do

 

[Tinyflame]

@X360pt welcome to you.

A friendship is 2-way though, not one way. I'm sure they're glad you're feeling better, but tbh they likely won't even remember you. Or possibly you them, depending on your age.

The good new is, if you could disclose all that in relatively little time, you should have no problem with another.

It sounds harsh, but coming from a helping profession & knowing many in helping professions, there can be hefty egos. 'Free' is never 'free'.

Good luck with the next one.

 

[X360pt]

@X360pt welcome to you.

A friendship is 2-way though, not one way. I'm sure they're...

A lot of times we must be harsh to learn.

I was indecisive whether to add what I added about whether it was free or not. Sure nothing is "free" these days and what I said can have many interpretations to many people.

Do you mind elaborating on hefty egos? Just so I can get better understanding, is this coming from a T point of view or as an individual?

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh no, I'm not a T. I must hurry, hope this makes sense, maybe clearer by examples:

For one, I work in health care, you wouldn't believe what you hear & see. They used to term it PTA (I'm quoting- wash their 'pussy, tits & ass'. Nice & respectful. :( And likely coined by a man, simply due to terminology.) For 2, the 'God-complex' is notorious, but I know about 5 guilty of malpractise. (There's a joke, "What's the difference between God & a Dr? God doesn't think he's a Dr".). My mom used to work for one who would throw instruments & say, "Don't give me what I asked for, give me what I need". For 3, I left church the other day & watched someone kiss a Deacon's ring. He didn't correct him. Last time I looked I didn't mistake him for the Pope though.

It's good for people to be grateful. But it's good to remember we're all just people.

It's their job. Doesn't mean she isn't compassionate or think you're a nice person & wish you well.

 

[X360pt]

Oh no, I'm not a T. I must hurry, hope this makes sense, maybe clearer by examples:

I work in health c...

Thanks for your example

It's fantastic to be grateful because people tend to only critise and forget to appreciate. Hence why I wrote a note. I did not give this directly to the T as didn't have it ready. I wrote it at the main reception and instructed for it to be given to the T.

 

[Tinyflame]

I find people receiving help either feel entitled or overly grateful. Not much happy medium.