Anybody Try Imaginary Parents?

[katz]

I had never heard of this idea of imaginary parents. I don't know if it would work for me. When ever I get upset about my child hood, I keep remembering the good things. Even though they are few. Then I end up telling myself that "life was fine" at home. It's almost like feeling guilty for thinking that I deserve better.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Yep and I usually have an entire imaginary loving family. Its how I normally get to sleep, how I make myself feel safe. I play an entire story, like a movie, in my head. A lot of the time my therapist plays the imaginary dad and he knows about it and says its because he makes me feel safe and its normal.

I used to do that as a kid too.

 

[Deleted member 34535]

I just started an experiment in self re-parenting, a form of therapy I admittedly don't know much about...

Hi Dana. I think your idea is an awesome idea for you or anyone who thinks it would work for them and give them some sense of comfort. I saw my Therapist yesterday and I told her that I have absolutely no memory of ever feeling like a child or having a childhood. I believe my abuse happened at a very tender age, at or prior to age 3 where our memories are not capable of giving us an actual memory of these events. So I spent my childhood and the vast majority of my life as if I was hovering above everyone, looking for the next potential threat.
So for me, at this point in my life at age 53, I am focused on the here and now. After over 2 years of Psychiatric care and multiple mental health diagnosis later, I am finally beginning to feel like an actual human being. I want to live in the here and now. At age 53, I will never be a child again. Maybe in the afterlife, I will get that opportunity, but not here on this earth. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams to be feeling as well as I am now. But it was only after a long period of extremely hard work and way too much pain.
Again, I hope that you and anyone who thinks this idea will work for them will go for it. And I hope it brings everyone a true sense of comfort. Many Blessings to you and everyone.

 

[Unknown Victim]

I say try it. I raised myself a PTSD sufferer 5 years old raising himself. When someone tells me my parents did a bad job on me, I tell them I did the best I could.

 

[Deleted member 34424]

When I was a kid I had imaginary friends who acted like parent-figures.

 

[Dana1010]

When someone tells me my parents did a bad job on me, I tell them I did the best I could.

:hilarious: I don't know if you meant that in a somber tone, but it actually made me laugh. Best quip I've heard in a while, albeit a dark one. Funny 'cause it's true.

 

[Chem Lady]

I say try it. I raised myself a PTSD sufferer 5 years old raising himself. When someone tells me...

I'm sorry. It makes me so sad to hear about kids who had to raise themselves.

 

[Higgins]

I just started an experiment in self re-parenting, a form of therapy I admittedly don't know much about...

Hi. I wanted to reply to this, because if I'd been told of this as a thing, I would have scoffed it off, but have done it and it works. I think it's a form of relational healing, it's definitely a part of EMDR (it's part of the set up process, having resources like people who exhibit the things you wish you had). You're basically rewriting the narrative of what happened, to be what should have happened. And even more so, what would have happened if the right people had been in place at the time of trauma. It's like using your imagination to fill in voids of what you didn't get when you needed it.

The other thing, and this one has actually been just as powerful for me, is visualizing / narrating my adult self going back into events from childhood (as if with a time machine), and stepping in for young me when I needed it. Because I can see a whole lot of times where some adult failed me. But I wouldn't fail myself. I won't fail myself. There's something empowering about doing this type of work, but placing yourself as the "hero." It's self-healing.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am going to start trying this for me, great idea.

 

[NatBird]

@Dana1010 thank you so much for sharing this. I admire the use of your creativity. You and respondees have given me some ideas on how to approach re parenting. Glad you've found something that works for you:)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It honestly really helps to make you feel safe if you can nail down the imaginary family in an imaginary world that is happy and loving. Its honestly the only way i can put myself to sleep and its funny, i play out like a movie or senario and fall asleep and the next night i pick up where i left off (or last remember leaving off).

If you have a great imagination then its endless of what you can imagine. I have this great loving family that wants me and loves me and never lays a hand on me right in my head.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I love this thread! From my earliest memories, I would fantasize about my *real* parents (I imagined myself as a scabby-kneed, dirt-stained Cinderella), and our relationship. I would dream about them, and talk to them whenever I could. I believe this saved my sanity as a kid, because those parents were gentle and kind, and when they were with me, I didn't feel alone.

So now, with the encouragement of my therapist, I find opportunities to parent the little me inside. I will take her on a hike, and let her explore and get dirty and ask questions, and most importantly for me, I tell her that she's safe, and valued, and loved. I don't think it's as crazy as it sounds, although I admit, it sounds pretty damned crazy. :confused: