How Much Time Do You Spend Thinking About Your Trauma?

[sun seeker]

A few days ago I was talking with a friend I haven't talked to in a while, and told her a little about my early trauma, which has been coming to me in the form of recovered memories. She commented that it sounded huge and that I probably spent most of my time thinking about it.

That gave me pause, because I don't, really. What do I spend most of my time doing? Dealing with and thinking about the multiple ways the trauma affects my life in the present. But thinking about the trauma itself doesn't take a whole lot of my time.

Am I odd that way, or does she just think that because she doesn't have similar issues? Is thinking about the trauma itself something that takes up huge chunks of most people's time? Just wondering...

 

[Rani G2]

@sun seeker

there is nothing odd about it sun seeker, we all have our own ways to deal with it. Our coping mechanisms vary.

 

[rosey]

I find it is the effects of the trauma that take up my time rather than the trauma memories. The panic over little things the lack of self belief the overthinking and ocd.

Much of my daily life is in the present and future both of which seem impossibly difficult thanks to my past.

When friends dont understand i take a bit of comfort in knowing there is one less person out there that doesnt have ptsd

 

[sun seeker]

When friends dont understand i take a bit of comfort in knowing there is one less person out there that doesnt have PTSD

That's a good way of putting it. The reason I hadn't talked to this friend in a while is because I knew she wouldn't know how to be with what has been going on for me over the past year of intense trauma processing. There is a break in the minds of people without PTSD (or who have studied it in detail, like therapists) between the fact of the trauma and how it affects seemingly every little thing in the present. I kind of scared off another friend a few months ago the first time she triggered me really badly. She in fact knew that what she was doing was one of my main triggers, and she knew I had PTSD, but somehow never put that together into the fact that she might need to tread with caution around certain topics.

Sigh. It's kind of like explaining step by step how two plus two equals four, isn't it?

 

[Rani G2]

@sun seeker
this might sound completely out of place, but do you also mean that people who are dealing with Trauma feel the need to justify themselves? Because not everyone can comprehend.

 

[rosey]

Even people without ptsd get triggers but they generally are not aware of it and consider it just a normal reaction or little quirk. I have come to the conclusion that some triggers i can work on others with all the therapy in the world wont change and so i have to accept them.

It is also possible to be triggered in a good way so look out for those one too give a bit af a balance.

It is a constant explaining but you are aware and that is a really good thing

 

[sun seeker]

do you also mean that people who are dealing with Trauma feel the need to justify themselves?

I don't think so... oops, someone just came to the door. Let me think about that.

 

[watundah]

I think because I am working on a lot of the childhood abuse in therapy right now, a lot of things are churning and in the forefront. I am thinking about it, writing and sharing and I think this is one of the cases where it gets worse before it gets better. Aside from that, before the digging in and even before therapy, I will say I hardly ever thought about it!! Now I dont consciously think about the symptoms and the memories for a great deal of every day, but it's as though there is a constant presence in the back of my mind like something is not right with the world.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I also, don't think about my trauma. It's too much.

 

[Iamsensative]

I don't think about trauma so much but I do live with the repercussions everyday. I don't think anyone day goes by that I can get away from it. I have to accept that this is my life and I can only do so much to control it. There is no pre-trauma me, so I don't know what's really normal.

 

[Chiqui]

I find myself dealing with the repercussions more than thinking about the trauma. My nightmares do it for me!! Also find annoying when I feel should explain and justified what I do and don't do with people who doesn't know. I have told to a very few people.
Why should I have to explain and then suffer their comments and rejection? No way.

 

[Rani G2]

I have realised that it took me a while to understand that trauma has a massive impact in my life, the way I feel, how I connect or not connect with myself and others.

My wanting to justify myself happend, when using different tactics to master my life was being questioned at one point “Isnt your willpower not strong enough to deal with things differently?“.

After months of therapy I was able to see it from another perspective.