Non cutting self harm

[hodge]

Well, I've long known about bee allergy in my family, but have never been stung, so I didn't know if I was allergic. Last spring I went to get some Chapstick, but the drug store only had Carmex. After the second application I got really dizzy and finally recognized this as an allergic reaction. Did a search on Carmex's ingredients and saw it contained beeswax. I took 50 mg of Benedryl and within half an hour, felt okay again. I saw on my search that lots of cosmetics also contain beeswax. I've just been lucky to never have used any of those. Evidently beeswax is just as bad as bee venom.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't have an identical problem, @Fadeaway - but I kind of understand, in a very roundabout way. I am on a pretty strict eating plan right now, and sugar is absolutely not allowed. I'm managing it OK, but was going through a hard time recently and wanted chocolate badly. However, because I'm so prone to all-or-nothing thinking, the concept of moderation is often a mystery to me. Knowing this, I opted to indulge myself with a punishment. I went for sugar-free chocolate.

I discovered awhile back, the usual way (by accident) that too much of the sugar alcohol used to replace sugar in sugar free candies is a powerful laxative. It pulls water aggressively into the system.

But knowing that, for whatever reason, I couldn't eat the chocolate unless I punished myself by eating sugar-free, which resulted in about 8 hours of really agonizing bathroom time and another 2 days or so of a screwed up system.

It's not half as bad as celiacs, and it was totally by my choice - it's not like I have a medical condition, I just had this really backwards way of hurting myself.

 

[Naoru]

@Fadeaway My apologies if my comment came across as insensitive. I suffer from this as well and other nontraditional methods of self-harm. It is agony and I did not mean to make light of how you are feeling; I only wanted to relate, lighten your spirit, and ease the self-judgement. I do hope you are able to resist in the future and your husband becomes more supportive in those moments.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I'm sorry that you suffered after eating them, Fade... I hope they were the best you've ever had. I'm also really sorry that you've got Celiac's. because your life wasn't already challenging enough. :(

I have poor impulse control, so I always go for the quick fix and regret it later. I know it's gonna hurt - one way or another - yet I do it anyway.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

I tend to engage in non-traditional self-harm behaviors

@Fadeaway, are there other forms of self-harm you engage in (now or in the past?) Or, is the gluten-ingesting behavior something you do either to punish yourself, regulate your emotions, or otherwise self-soothe? I'm sorry about the Celiac, I know that is really serious, with long term consequences. I hope they caught it early, and that you can find other ways to self-soothe than something that can cause long-lasting damage.

 

[sun seeker]

I discovered awhile back, the usual way (by accident) that too much of the sugar alcohol used to replace sugar in sugar free candies is a powerful laxative.

I've seen organic chocolate sweetened with stevia. Would that work better?

(I know this doesn't address the other issues you mentioned... but if you really want chocolate, there are ways.)

 

[joeylittle]

Would that work better?

It probably would, but I'm best off just leaving it alone. When I stay away from sweet, then 99% of the time, I don't even miss it. It's when anything sweet gets near me that I start to lose my mind, and then it could be any number of cravings. This last time, chocolate.

 

[Fadeaway]

I just had this really backwards way of hurting myself.

Exactly. If I didn't have celiacs I might have tried something similar that I know my body didn't respond well too.

@Naoru Not at all, it just meant I felt like I hadn't expressed myself clearly. I do appreciate the intentions behind what you said.

@Lola Nocheprieta I was diagnosed in 2009 but it took about 10 years to get a diagnosis. I have not used gluten to selfharm before but I have done things like taking scissors to my hair after I had grown it out really long to the point it was a pride item. Cutting up my favorite skirt and destroying items that either had sentimental value or I had worked hard to create.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

@Fadeaway, at least hair grows back. I'd rather see you cut up things like skirts or your hair, than create further damage to your gut health.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Fadeaway I have a friend that is lactose intolerant. She has had it all her life, and knows how she sufferers if she has dairy products. Yet, she does it all the time. Once it was so bad that she bled rectally. She still eats dairy.

What pisses me off the most... I've been telling her for yrs to get lactaid pills and then she won't have to worry. Sometimes she takes them, but mostly not, and this is just in the last few months that she will even use them....Her daughter suffers from it too, but she avoids dairy at all cost.

I know that what you suffer from is serious. Hopefully they will find a cure for it one day.

 

[Ponderosa]

@hodge I have celiacs disease. The joys of autoimmune, they often come in multiples....

I, too, cannot ingest gluten. I did once at work out of desperation and wound up passed out from pain on the bathroom floor. It's awful. However, sometimes I'm so desperate for the iced sugar cookies my daughter gets that I just can't help myself. It's rare for me, but it happens. I hope it subsides quickly for you and I'm so sorry for your pain!!!

 

[Angie Schultze]

I tend to engage in non-traditional self-harm behaviors. I have celiacs so what did I do? Got Chinese...

I don't cut but I have removed three toenails that I keep from growing back to when I get really triggered