Interest In Sex D̶a̶m̶a̶g̶e̶d̶ Destroyed From Rejection

[Ehi]

And thinking more about this - does married and divorced several times make you more normal than a person who recognises this relationship is not right and doesn't marry/ divorce?
That's a kind of horrible analogy on what it takes to be normal - almost to lie to yourself and another to get the badge of normality - marriage.
I respect the effort but have a feeling the ethics are all wrong here!
And for the op this probably amplifies all she is already feeling about being alone and feeling like a failure for that.
Nope. I don't agree.
It is still a mans world but that doesn't make it right. Women suffer for not playing the game. It's a whole lot harder but maybe a whole lot more honest too.
Personally I prefer honesty

 

[Ewonu]

And thinking more about this - does married and divorced several times make you more normal than a person who recognises this relationship is not right and doesn't marry/ divorce?
That's a kind of horrible analogy on what it takes to be normal - almost to lie to yourself and another to get the badge of normality - marriage.

I didn't hear a story about what it takes to be normal, and definitely not an analogy. I heard a real person's story, about their life; how they transitioned from hating themselves and hating men (like the OP), to where they are now; loving both themselves and their husband and being loved in return.

If a success story makes someone else feel like a failure? A really honest success story that included heartbreak and bad decisions? That's hardly their fault for trying to help by sharing their own experience in starting out where the OP is, and getting to where the OP wants to go. At least in regards to no longer being destroyed from their past with self hatred, hatred for others, relationships being impossible. Trying to shame them for those decisions? Shame them for sharing hope that for them in their lives, this was possible? Hard work, and a long road, but possible? IDK what to do with that. Except that just because it makes you feel like a failure, doesn't mean it won't be exactly what the OP needs to hear.

 

[Nipus]

Fair enough. I wasn't trying to shame anyone - just don't like the word normal but maybe I went overboard.
Sorry if I offended

 

[Mosema]

And still I wish women had a real voice and could be supported by women - and men for that matter - in not having to prove their worth by being with a man.
Im leaving this forum anyway, but this still irks me. Why, when we feel damaged by relationships and by sex should the answer akwSys be to throw yourself out there?
in that realm it's all about youth and beauty. f*ck that.
Amen

 

[Mobine]

Why, when we feel damaged by relationships and by sex should the answer akwSys be to throw yourself out there?

It's not. There are a lot of long term single and happy about it people on the forum. But when someone wants to have a partnership? That's as valid a desire as not wanting one.

As far as feminism goes; Isn't that the whole point? To be able to choose for yourself? Not to have a life forced upon you by what anyone else thinks you should be doing, but the right to choose, and expectation of being supported in your choice, whatever it may be?

Women can choose to seek relationships, or not. Men can choose to seek relationships, or not. Moms can choose to stay home, or to work. Dads can choose to stay home, or work. Neither choice is less than the other. Just different from the other.