We should talk. I deal w the same thing w my boyfriend over the last 3 yrs (he was my best friend for 12 yrs prior. He found his father dead when he was 29 and his brother was murdered by his girlfriend. His entire childhood he was abused by peers. We see a counselor. Drinking is the trigger. He says it's like he's a passenger in his own body when that happens. They somehow misplace us with the people that hurt them and take their anger out on us meaning for it to be someone else. Key is learning how to keep it under control with the right meds, lack of triggers, and love. But my boyfriend doesn't want me to leave him. But our parents want us apart. He's 35 and I'm 40. I don't want to lose him. I worry, a lot. And know he needs me. Again, if he wants to make it work he can. But that's the only way. Don't listen to what anyone else says. It's your life and only you know what will make u happy.