Sexual Assault Moral Responsibility To Charge?

[Lissar]

Next week I'll be receiving the results of the forensic testing, and in another couple weeks the tox screen will come back. What this means is that I'm at a decision point in terms of how the investigation will progress.
The detective has already told me that she is willing to bring him in for questioning (at this point he is unaware that I have gone to the police at all), but I have told her I wanted to wait for the results of all the testing before making any decisions. I can basically tell her that I don't want to pursue things any further, or I can tell her to continue gathering evidence and eventually take it to the Crown Prosecutor for them to decide if there's enough evidence to actually charge and take it to court.
I want it to be done. I don't want to go through the process of a trial.. I don't want to have to keep remembering.
But, given the circumstances of the r*pe, I truly believe that I am not his first and will not be his last. If, in my particular case, there ends up being enough evidence for the Crown to press charges, does that not mean that I have a moral obligation to try and get him off the streets, regardless of my personal wishes?
Has anyone else struggled with this issue?

 

[Kintsugi]

If, in my particular case, there ends up being enough evidence for the Crown to press charges, does that not mean that I have a moral obligation to try and get him off the streets, regardless of my personal wishes?

I am of the school of thought that the victim's wishes are the top priority. I have not reported most of my abuse. The one time I did report, it wasn't because I wanted to, although so far it's been a harrowing yet satisfying experience.

 

[Caz111]

I went on holiday with a friend, someone I'd known for many years, he was best man at my wedding, I've been going to the same place in turkey for ten years, with family or friends, often he would be there at the same time. Last year I was thinking of going again, but there was no one who could come with me, I messaged my friend to find out if he would be going, I was delighted when he said he would be, we met for coffee and he persuaded me that we should share a room, it seemed a good idea as it would save a few hundred pounds, we booked the room, a twin room. I bought a long nightdress as I usually slept naked. After we got there we went round the bars to say hi to all our friends, at midnight we went back to the room, I went straight to sleep, at about 2am I woke up with him having sex with me, at first I thought I was at home and it was my boyfriend on top of my, then I heard him grunting and realised it was someone else, I pushed him off and ran to the window to pull the curtain back, it was then that the realisation hit me, I was in turkey and it had been my so called friend on top of me, I fled the room and ran to reception, they managed to calm me and find me another room, after asking if I wanted the police called, I said no I just wanted to go home. The next day I went to see the rep, she was very caring and after checking flights I was told there were no seats, they did find me another hotel in another part of turkey. I went through all sorts of emotions, blaming myself because I had shared a room, had to much to drink etc. 5 months later and many nightmares and soul searching I went to the police, I have also started counselling. I don't know yet what will happened, my son in law messaged my friend when I returned home and told him what a disgusting man he was and how he had ruined my holiday and messed up my head, he also told him he should refund my money, which he agreed to do and did the next day. I believe he knew what he was doing, and I no longer blame myself, anyone who does this should face the consequences. I don't know yet what is going to happen, but I know he had no right to do what he did, and I have a moral duty to make him realise his actions

 

[Suzetig]

No, I think your first duty is to yourself - to take care of your wellbeing and to promote your own recovery. Only you will know if following through with charges will help or hinder that.

The only person responsible for your rapist attacking other women is your rapist - their decision to abuse is exactly that and you reporting or not, following through with charges or not doesn't change their responsibility for their actions in the slightest.

 

[Hooper]

I see your dilemma. I don't know what the numbers are in Canada but in the US we have maybe a 3% conviction rate. If you have him dead to rights I hope you do but if you don't I'd understand. If it's the same in Canada you will be put on trial. Wish you the best.

 

[Anarchy]

Your needs come first

Rapists are the only ones who are to blame for rape

 

[Llith]

I had this exact same dilemma twice.

The first time I couldn't realistically press charges because I couldn't afford it and I had no evidence.

The second time I was where you are now. All the evidence and everything brought in. I decided to press forward and the mental exhaustion of pressing g charges is humongous. It's expensive to get legal help and the chances are you will not get to caught as without damnning evidence it will not even go to court. So decide if it is worth it for yourself. You need to look after you. If you think you can handle it then go for it, but if you don't think you can don't. It's dememing and difficult.

Maybe that isn't what the justice people want to hear, but it's the truth.

 

[Deadman]

In Canada it is not the victim of sexual assault who makes the decision about proceeding with charges. Once the crime has been reported it is up to the Provincial Crown Prosecutor whether or not to proceed with charges. My understanding is that they can compel the victim to testify at a trial but generally prosecutors are reluctant to do so for obvious reasons.

 

[Lissar]

In Canada it is not the victim of sexual assault who makes the decision about proceeding with charges....

Yes, all true. The Crown can compel, but is unlikely to if I don't want to proceed with it. Once all the evidence is in, the detective will give me a recommendation and then leave it up to me if I want her to take the case to the Crown at all.

I had this exact same dilemma twice.

The first time I couldn't realistically press charges because I co...

Thank you for sharing your experience, it helps to hear people's stories. Money isn't an issue here in Canada, because it's not actually me bringing forth charges, it's the province. It is still largely up to me, though, if I want charges pressed.