I was just fired and a complete mess!

[The Albatross]

Misdirected anger Lost. This incident was totally in your control. That's the bitch part if you flake... being at the ass end of consequences is no f'ing fun. Including the stuff about your dad and finances.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Oh, we don't get to thread ban people anymore out of our thread as a premium member?

My therapist's idea was instead of asking my dad to pool funds, to tell him I will look for work and get a job ASAP but while looking and after I get a job, I need to get networking admisistration (or which ever area in IT if not networking) certifications. To, instead of pooling funds together, ask him to pay for those certificaions, that way I am much more independent in the long run. He agreed.

So there we go. I also know Spectrum is hiring and the insur starts right away.

I called to cash out my 401K (which is $6,300) and I have to wait 4 to 6 weeks for my past employer to tell them I am not employed anymore, which sucks.

And no, its not misdirected anger, my dad promised me he would do something to help me in a time I need help. He is the only family I have left and my step mom threatens me back to back. I posted something on facebook due to her threatening to tell my family. Now thats something I am supposed to appologize for though it was done because a threat. "I wasn' going to" she said but how was I supposed to know? She said some of the nastiest things to me. My dad tried to make us make peace and she fails to see she did anything wrong and while walking away she said "there goes your money". She does nothing but threaten me and holds shit over my head. Its bullshit! Either move or help but stop threatening me! He is bitch slapped and sees nothing she does wrong and it ALWAYS lands on me. It all is ALWAYS my fault no matter what! "Be nicer to her" he said. No way. He promised me we would pool money together while I was freaking out and now because she started a fight (as she always does) by butting into a convo my dad and I were having about how all of us was going to be ok and what we were going to do, she butts in basically saying, between the lines, "we don't need the money, she does and we won't be giving her any more money". And the money he gives me now is rent to live here which is only $400 for everything. Which is f*cking NOTHING given I pay over $1400 to live here!

So no @The Albatross, none of this is f*cking redirected anger! It is tormiol I am forced to live in. I take responsibilty over why I got fired and said so in my orginal post. I take responsibilty for allowing my step mom to push me that far and yes, I need help from daddy, I am sorry about that but this tormoil and broken promises and threats are bullshit!

ETA: AND I have to hold her pain meds to keep her from getting high and have had to wipe her ass when she was high and had to deal with her when she got high right after I got out of the hospital having surgery and have to make sure she doesn't fall asleep on my back porch at night leaving the back door unlocked.

But still I am asked to ignore it all and everything is still my fault.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul I still think that while you are NOT employed right now, that it would be best to file for SSDI. At least get the process going now. You can still look for a job in the mean time, but if nothing comes up in the work force, you have at least started the process for SSDI. They don't need to know that you are actively looking for work.

I doubt that with your disabilities that SS would turn you down. So it's possible that you could get on it fairly soon....

Other than that, good luck with job hunting. And try and not kill the asshole stepmother. She sounds like a f*cking weirdo......

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@She Cat, I asked my therapist about that. He feels that, since I am in the workforce, I should stay in the workforce. He didn't give an opinion on it ditectly, other then "you usually need to file twice." But I got the impression that he thinks I should be working as long as possible. That the longer I have a gap in working, the worse I may do.

I can see where he is coming from as I tend to crash and stay crashed. Working helps me pull myself up in the morning. I may need a break but he thinks, since it may take a while to find the right job for right now or for anyone to really hire me in this workforce, I should start applying right now and not after a 6 month break or whatever. And that I can take a break but applying while I am taking that break so that I am not needing a job right now but it takes a few weeks to find one.

He is heavily encouraging the certification. He has a neice and a brother in law and a son in IT (one of them, but don't ask me which one, works for Google) and he has been told a computer science degree is usually passed over and are asked what certificates do you have. So thats looked at way more. And he said his neice is an Art Major but now works in Network Administration and makes over $80,000 a year.

My therapist is for indepence and stuff. I get the feeling from him that he thinks as long as I can physically handle it, that I am not in that space of needing to be on disabilty mentally.

When I first starting going to therapy he was suprised I was working and wasn't on disabilty but that abilty to comparmentalize and sort of up set all aside to work, he wants me to hang onto that I think.

I don't know. I may still apply. But I sort of need him aboard to fill out the mental part of it I think.

I haven't signed up from unemployment yet but will. Im fighting the crash and about to loose the fight. Ugh! I am just so tired of fighting. In reality and in my brain!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I hear you..... I really do!!!!! Hugs.

 

[The Albatross]

You were not forced. You chose to vape in the facility, against the rules with a couple email notices and had your desk moved to a more open/visible location near a break room. You chose. When the heat was on, you put your hands on the lady... whether she over reacted or not. You may not have been able to choose that but it's not what a person does. You don't put your hands on somebody.

All after is consequences. Direct it at me if you want. But if you had elevated your employment and the pay check over your choice to vape you wouldn't be here right now.

Angry? Sure. Angry at everybody else? Nope. Personal responsibility.

Off the thread.

 

[Beemo3780]

How did you find the job? Can you find the needed required knowledge? Not like what they put on the application but more then that? Cause, my knowledge is parts. Parts of everything and will need to self teach the remainder of the needed required knowledge.

Or if you can type that out that would be cool. Thay way I can have full knowledge in the required areas.

My father is an engineer, and I've been working with computers since the early 80s, and try to keep up with the changing technology by just reading a lot. I've never taken a certification class. It's a waste of money IMO. And with tech, I honestly think going to college for the purpose of getting a decent job is a waste of money. If you are good at what you do, they will hire you.

My career has jumped all over the place over the years. I started designing webpages for people during the 90s, very basic HTML. Super easy stuff. I started with graphic design, and migrated over to that. I worked from home writing code when my daughter was born in the early 2000s, making more than $10/hr. I kinda just fell into that job. I had to learn on the job too. Worked on back end system support for a hospital. Helped out with my friend's LAN gaming store for a few years developing media programs so the gamers could select from a bunch of different games. I was the only IT administrator person at a non profit agency and had to manage their 30 computers on a Windows server, and also write Access databases for them (real pain in the butt). I've mostly learned on the job as I went, fake it until you know it. It's easier now too because the internet is full of information.

At my most recent job, I was hired basically because a friend of mine had a meeting with the CEO of a head hunter company while looking for candidates his company, and she was looking for someone like me. He gave her my name, and I was hired a week later. 2 of my other tech geek friends already worked for the company too in network systems. I was analyzing and repairing code for several different apps that worked in conjunction with each other. Something would error out, I would have to fix it.

The things I've needed for my career? A network of friends/professional contacts that work in my field. It helps to know people. It also helps to have a resume showing experience. Seriously, they will look at this over school/certifications most of the time. It makes sense, so what if you have the stuff on paper, have you actually used that knowledge. Get out of call centers, tech support and help desks kill your IT career, and you won't be making all that much. Learn C++, Java, Php, SQL, HTML, basically as many languages you can. Learn how to build a computer. Learn how to use different peripherals. Learn how to design apps. DOS and Linux are pretty basic things to know how to use. And Access, if you can make a database in Access, you could be making over $100/hr, it's a huge hassle, but you'd be surprised how many companies still use it and need service for it.

Go to tech conferences, network with tech geeks, there are so many things you can do if you are really serious about a career in tech. But you'll need to have an edge over all the other people applying for the same jobs.

 

[Sideways]

Not in a space to help much, other than to offer some gentle hugs. Remember that life ebbs and flows. You've had a shite run of things, but things change. Keep going, you're worth it. Your life is worth it. The future hasn't been written, so don't gove up on yourself. Not ever.

 

[joeylittle]

Oh, we don't get to thread ban people anymore out of our thread as a premium member?

You still can. Thread Tools > Manage Reply Bans > enter info.

Just a thought - your dad offered to go back to work (I'm assuming to replace the lost income, for the time being) - and you told him you didn't want him to. It was after that, when he started pressuring you to get a job, and said he couldn't spare much.

Perhaps re-consider not letting your dad work? First off, it is his decision - but also, that may be the way he can actually help right now. Telling him he can't help is cutting off an avenue that he can use, in order to help.

And who knows? He might genuinely be interested in getting out and being an earner again. I think it was very supportive of him to offer.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You still can. Thread Tools > Manage Reply Bans > enter info.

Thanks!

and said he couldn't spare much.

He didnt say he couldnt spare much. He said he didnt know what he could spare and wouldnt answer me when I asked why. I know he can spare something or he wouldnt of offered to begin with. My step mom then started a fight, during that convo, purposely pushed me to an explosion to make me look horrible so she could play that with my dad, who apparently told her I only think about myself which he knows better then that. She does this all of the time. Anyway, she played that to make him tell her he wont give me money. I made him tell me he would pay for the certifcates no matter what she ends up saying later. Because she is hot & cold. Totally fine with it today and then will hold it over my head later. So I made him say outloud that he would pay for it no matter what.

Perhaps re-consider not letting your dad work? First off, it is his decision - but also, that may be the way he can actually help right now. Telling him he can't help is cutting off an avenue that he can use, in order to help.

Cause he thinks he is superman. He is 75 with diabeties and diabetic neuopathy and whole page full of stuff. I know he can't go out and walk selling insur (what he did when I was little. He was a big shot manager when I was really little) because thats what he did when he first came out of retirement and had to stop due to his legs. He will never take the medication for it. He could go to a telemarking place. God knows there a shit ton of those around here. But the reason is that seems very wrong. Sending my 75 yr old disabled veteran out of retirement to help me. No, that just seems wrong. He wouldn't do it for any other reason. He would stop my step mom's meds before going back to work. He thinks he can do more then he can. I am all for him keeping his independence, way more then his other kids, but he knows he can't work. Cause when I said no he thought about it for a sec and let it go. I think he may of thought "yeah, I really can't do that." He has issues with his bowels. There is no way he could keep a working schedule today. No way. So no. I'd rather sleep in my car before I do that. Or leave this area and my therapist to follow them then to do that. I won't let him do more then he can do for me.

It's easier now too because the internet is full of information.

Yep, where I self learn. As long as I know whats required, I can teach myself in no time!

The things I've needed for my career? A network of friends/professional contacts that work in my field. It helps to know people.

I know one. Well my dad's ex neighbor but he knows me. He didnt email me so apparently his company isn't hiring. My dad told him to only email/text me if they were hiring. But still in the field.

Learn C++, Java, Php, SQL, HTML,

I know HTML backwards and fowards. Also wrote basic pages in the 90s from ground up and managed pages for small buainesses a bit later.

I know Java Scripting, PHP, SQL, C++, half way. Some PEARL & PERL, and a boatload of other languages. I didn't know which way I wanted to go but in my time at that job I just lost I discovered my love of Networking so I am not 100% certian but I'd say 99% sure. So I am still trying to 100% narrow it in. It doesn't hurt to know languages as if one job fails another in another area is right there.

Learn how to build a computer.

Already done. Built MANY desktops and laptops out of old broken ones that I pieced out then sold them.

Learn how to use different peripherals

I know many but have many to go.

Learn how to design apps

That I REALLY want to know how to do. Unsure if you can really do that without root access (jail broken) mobile device? I learn better hands on but upgrading and rooting this one is out. Maybe buy some cheap pre-paid to play with? Doing that for apple is out. So unsure but I am sure there are simulators online.

DOS and Linux are pretty basic things to know how to use.

Done.

And Access, if you can make a database in Access, you could be making over $100/hr, it's a huge hassle, but you'd be surprised how many companies still use it and need service for it.

Old knowledge.

Some of this stuff I haven't done since the 90s so some of it needs to be caught up.

Go to tech conferences, network with tech geeks, there are so many things you can do if you are really serious about a career in tech. But you'll need to have an edge over all the other people applying for the same jobs.

Thats hard. My PTSD still applies and my fear of people is still there. If it wasn't needed to do soon then maybe after Chopper is a fully trained service dog but not now. I could learn all the above stuff and try to be around people later when he is better trained? Not sure about that one.

Get out of call centers, tech support and help desks kill your IT career, and you won't be making all that much.

Yeah, no shit. But for today work, I don't have a choice. I need income some how and if Spectrum will hire me then at least I can get free cable/internet/phone (for my parents) until I go out for an IT job somewhere. I don't have full knowledge today and won't for some time so I don't have a choice.

But thank you! That helped a lot!

Thank you @Ragdoll Circus! :hug:s back!

 

[Stitchin]

Hi. I've read only the first page of this thread, but wanted to chip in real quick.
You're in a very vulnerable place. Please keep in close contact with your therapist. Keep your safety contact with your t.
I was once in your position, and the combined stress of my home life and work life sent me over the edge. I very nearly succeeded in my suicide, but ended up hospitalized after being contained by police with drawn weapons.
It was after this event that I went on disability- and it was very depressing to me. I felt like a failure.
It took a great deal of effort to recover from this psychotic break.
I agree that extreme self care is in order. And talk to your therapist and drs about your struggles with work. One of the hallmarks of a truly disabled person is that they really do want to work and succeed, but their health prevents it.
Please be careful, and take care. I will continue reading now and following your post.
BIG LOVE

 

[lostforgottensoul]

And talk to your therapist and drs about your struggles with work.

I talk to my therapist about everything. Being pushed to the edge I was (massively triggered & then pushed) was of no suprise to him but he knows my step mom and knows what she does thus wants me to have independence again and has talked a ton about it.

But yeah, I can't call his cell or anytbing but he is the one Dr under my pain Dr that I plan to continue having contact with, weekly. I did also ask that though I plan to take out Cobra, will he see me at $60 (instead of $125) a session. He said yes, which didn't suprise me but he has to personally ok stuff like that. He is good at making it as easy as possible for me to continue seeing him after a job loss.

Thank you for your support!