Childhood Physically abused from 7 -17

[sonicwhite]

My therapist says this is why I have PTSD. I was so hard headed as a kid that it took a good three years after I had left my dad to go through an even scarier psychotic episode.

I think that's why my dreams are so violent. I was ran through jail with a catheter put in me and pulled out with the balloon opened and shot up and my blood taken and possibly raped by two gaurds.

The thing is I'm trying to find peace in TN. But my dad hasn't changed. He won't be physically abusive but he is verbally a million times worse than he ever has been.

So please pray for me folks. I'm trying to get my own place. I'm scared and getting to the point I fear everyday.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

I will pray for you.

 

[sonicwhite]

I need a new place to live. My anxiety and nightmares are so much worse ever since I've been here.

 

[Fadeaway]

That would be why, because you CANNOT get PTSD from drug use. I knew there had to be more to your story, but it seemed like you weren't ready to talk about it. Sadly, you can't expect you dad to ever change. I am sorry you are stuck there right now.

 

[sonicwhite]

Wulp being tortured by the guards is what set it off. But yes because I was abused physically I'm alway shuttering in fear when he raises his voice.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you move to another place?

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm in TN where I hardly know anyone. If I was in Oklahoma I could. So there is a lot of problems with all of this. Hopefully I can get into trust point and stay for awhile. Give my dad a break.

 

[EveHarrington]

What is trust point?

 

[sonicwhite]

Psych hospital. My head is not on straight. I don't know if I'll ever be sane again do to not being able to be on a benzo.

 

[sonicwhite]

Wulp trustpoint should be calling me back. M just scared and m nightmares are awful.

 

[sonicwhite]

Wish me luck guys and prayerfully to God our Savior.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I don't know if I'll ever be sane again do to not being able to be on a benzo.

Not quite understanding why you say this. Can you elaborate a bit?

I don't pray but you are in my thoughts.