Are you the butt of everyone's jokes?

[Changing4Best]

I find myself becoming the butt of jokes a lot. Since I don't have the greatest sense of humor, this can be quite emotionally painful for me. It seems like since I am not able to discern the humor very well (if at all); since I don't laugh when everyone else seems to be laughing at me (once the joke has been told); I get more and more of this kind of thing thrown at me all the time.

Am I alone in this, or do others here also find yourselves quite often, (too often even) being the butt of peoples jokes? In other words, is humor used to make you feel "less than" by others?

 

[anonymous]

A few things I have noticed when this happens to people a lot is that for some people it is lack of self esteem that others pick up on and exploit, other times it is difficulties with social cues and reading people, or people having poor boundaries or assertiveness and because if that not realizing early on that they need to draw a line and protect themselves. Sometimes they don't know how to do that. Does any of that match your experiences?

 

[Gs172003]

Yes. I try to roll with it

 

[Changing4Best]

A few things I have noticed when this happens to people a lot is that for some people it is lack of s...

Yes, a lot of it does. Because of all the things that went wrong in my upbringing, my social cues are off, my self-esteem is low and so on.

I'm in therapy. Otherwise I do not know what to do to solve this problem.

 

[anonymous]

Have you read up about boundaries and assertiveness? I would start there as it can help the rest. Have you thought of doing an assertiveness course? There aren't any difficulties like being on the spectrum?

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you stand up to these people?

Set boundaries?

I know it’s HARD!

I’m not typically the butt of others jokes, but when it happens it’s because the other person is an idiot and doesn’t understand boundaries, and doesn’t understand that I want to be left alone.

 

[Changing4Best]

Have you read up about boundaries and assertiveness? I would start there as it can help the rest. Hav...

What's "the spectrum"?

I live way out in the boonies. No assertiveness courses here that I know of. We do have a mental health center, but that is not one of the things they offer.

 

[anonymous]

The autistic spectrum. Sure you would have said if so. There may be online courses but there are definitely books which you could work on with your therapist.

 

[Changing4Best]

Can you stand up to these people?

Set boundaries?

I know it’s HARD!

I’m not typically the...

Well, the latest one was from a bus driver. I would not know how to even begin to set boundaries with him, so I called his boss and asked her to handle it, which she said she would. Now I suppose I have made an enemy of him. SIGH....

The autistic spectrum. Sure you would have said if so. There may be online courses but there are defi...

I'm dyslexic, but not autistic, no. I was not able to learn to read until I was in the 3rd grade, did not speak understandably until I was nearly 4. I figure with all the catching up I had to do, it is no wonder I missed out on discerning something like whether humor is in something that someone says to me or not!

 

[Justmehere]

Can you give an example?

 

[Friday]

To me that seems more like a cognitive distortion, if it’s not a situational kind of thing.

Situational meaning > like a bit of light hazing starting a new job, or the culture of a certain place where everyone gets their balls busted from time to time.

 

[Ronin]

I was just thinking about it (being a distortion), because aside of people that just comment on everybody and everything, I hadn't had that issue in ages.

And those are not the kinds of people to even pay mind to.