Relationship Update...girlfriend with ptsd forces herself to leave me

[Matthew123]

Girlfriend loves me but says can't be with me

Hi all,

I made the post above a bit ago...

To update, last night my girlfriend forced herself to let me go and officially breakup and I accepted to help ease the pain and guilt she is in.

I am just trying to understand this disease if anyone can help place me as to what she is going through. During the talk, she repeatedly was saying how great and perfect I am and how much of a catch I am, but she just has to throw it all away and give me up. She can't even bring herself to even see me because she is so irrationally scared of me and feels terrible about everything... And wants to go through the process of recovery by herself without having to worry about me.

It's just a hard pill to swallow that two people love each other so much, but this disease can be debilitating and ruin a great love.

Can anyone give me insight as to what she is going to go through during this recovery process and based on what she has said and how we left things on a good note...She mentioned multiple times she wants to get back in touch in a few weeks... Could there be hope down the road for us after she gets herself back to a good place?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Girlfriend loves me but...

IMO she definitely needs space to work things out for herself. My partner broke up with me in August, but we remained friends until November; he then decided to isolate and I have really spoken with or seen him since. When I’ve tried to reach out, he only responds with nasty remarks or accusations.

Give it some time and see where she’s at later.

 

[EveHarrington]

....she’s most likely not going to be in a “good place” anytime soon.

It’s impossible for her to try and maintain a relationship when her own life is going haywire.

Love is not enough.

Love will never be enough.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

During the talk, she repeatedly was saying how great and perfect I am and how much of a catch I am

I didn't read your other thread but this screams of wanting to save you from the hell in which PTSD is. The main reason why many of us run from those we care most about.

 

[shimmerz]

without having to worry about me.

Guilt and shame exacerbate symptoms.

 

[Matthew123]

I didn't read your other thread but this screams of wanting to save you from the hell in whic...

Wouldn't she want a man though that she already loves to accept her for what she has? She knows how hard I have been trying to educate myself on PTSD so I can do my best to help control these symptoms moving forward. I love her and accept her for who she is... I guess her way of loving me is to push me away from this.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Wouldn't she want a man though that she already loves to accept her for what she has? She knows how hard I have bee...

As mentioned earlier, guilt and shame take over the loving person you knew/know. I’m dealing with it too. I feel your pain because I don’t have a clue as to what I should do either, except stand by.
It’s time to give her space and allow her to heal properly; if that’s what you want to do.

 

[Matthew123]

As mentioned earlier, guilt and shame take over the loving person you knew/know. I’m dealing with it too...

It's the worst thing ever... When she tells you how much she wants to be with you, but this one thing is just overpowering her.

I have made the decision to step back and move on with my life so I can take some stress out of her life and allow her to recover. I believe in everything playing out as it should and if it's meant to be for us then God will bring us back together.

 

[Fadeaway]

Positive stress is still stress.

Wouldn't she want a man though that she already loves to accept her for what she has?

It has nothing to do with want or don't want. You can want something your mind and body can't handle.

Everyone needs sunshine right? You sunshine feels good and your body needs it to create vitamin D. Spend to much time in the sun though and you can get sunburned. Think of people with PTSD as someone with with real pale skin that burns super easy. We can crave love and not be able to handle it without being overwhelmed by it to the point of feeling sunburned at the same time.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Wouldn't she want a man though that she already loves to accept her for what she has?

Sure but want and can handle are two very different things. And wanting to spare your loved ones really bad parts of this is territory you will be in often. Isloation and her needing her own space to work on things and relieve you with PTSDs really bad parts will likely always be there. She will likely always need to isolate.

 

[Matthew123]

Sure but want and can handle are two very different things. And wanting to spare your loved...

If we get back together some day is there anything we can do to help avoid that from happening or is this just part of the disease that I would have to learn how to deal with on my own?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

If we get back together some day is there anything we can do to help avoid that from happening or is this just part...

I feel if given the chance to be together again, you’re now aware of what the possibilities are now. You have to be careful with how you handle things moving forward.