Tattooing As An "Acceptable" Form Of Self-Harm

[Fortress]

I have 4 tattoos: 2 half sleeves, one between my shoulder blades, and one on my calf. It makes me a little nervous to have changed my body so dramatically, but I don't regret it. I love how they look! Slacks and sleeves down to the elbow (normal work outfits) cover all of them, which is nice. They also tell a story by representing different aspects of my personality and belief system. I don't really think of it as self harm. One of my half-sleeves was designed to mask scars. It was very liberating to tell myself that the pain of the tattoo needle was the last time I would have a cutting-like sensation; it was closure for me. It also made me comfortable enough in my own skin to wear sleeveless clothes again - for the first time in years! Sure, the pain of getting tattoos produced an adrenaline high, but that isn't why I did it. I think I would only see it as self-harm if a person did it sheerly for the pain...and even then, it's their life and their choice.

 

[anni]

I read this thread although I don't have any tatoos. I really believe that the only reason I do not when so many people I know have them is because I'm a professional artist and have this one hugeeee outlet open to me for pretty much any emotion. The link between creativity and mental health has always fascinated me, which I think is why I read these posts.

I'm not sure why it would be a bad thing to create pain one can control. I'm not familiar enough with the dynamics of cutting as self-harm so cannot comment on that more than to say that of course it would indicate some terrible emotional pain.There would obviously be a wide variety of reasons people get a tatoo. Tatooing as a form off releasing one's pain in a controlled way into some form of finite, deeply personal symbol which is also art has a dramatic kind of beauty to it. The point would be pain recognized and released into something positive, as art it would be turned into something beautiful.

Please excuse me if I'm talking a complete dishload of nonsense. As an artist, it seemed like a rather lovely concept, and a healing one.

Thanks for the thought provoking thread, and take care,

Anni

 

[gdf]

The Permanance Of Ink

"Tatooing as a form off releasing one's pain in a controlled way into some form of finite, deeply personal symbol which is also art has a dramatic kind of beauty to it. The point would be pain recognized and released into something positive, as art it would be turned into something beautiful.

Please excuse me if I'm talking a complete dishload of nonsense. As an artist, it seemed like a rather lovely concept, and a healing one."

Anni

Thanks Anni,

Definitely not nonsense...I think your words capture the essense of "why" perfectly. I haven't been able to totally grasp the significance of why people cut to relieve emotional pain but feeling the needle seemed identifiable some how, for me to a cutting experience. In my family a tatoo would be sacireligious and looked at with extreme negativity. To this day my sister can't figure out why in the world I would have done it. For me, enduring the pain was a way to proove to myself that I could stand letting someone touch me and hurt me and survive it. Perhaps, upon reflection, that is why I found the pain so captivating. I mastered it and controlled it as others have noted. The pain meant something this time and from that aspect I enjoyed the experience of the pain. I can survive it with a symbol permanently left as a form of rememberance. Unlike childhood, this time the pain did become beautiful. Like what happened to me, my ink is now a part of me, lives as part of my essence. A permnent change. To remove them would be another scar and a bigger mess. Perhaps they are an object lesson--learn to live with life as it is. Acceptance maybe of dealing with and coexisting with events that change your psyche. Perhaps tatoos are a reminder to accept that which we cannot change; to live with it because like PTSD, we can never go back and change what happened in in just as we cannot erase our abuse to the point of being the sames as before it happened. We may never be cured of PTSD or get totally well but we can learn to coexist with it eventually. That is my hope.

Gina

 

[anni]

Gina,
It gave me tears, your description. It's really HARD, as an artist when people ask "Where did you come up with THAT?" There's no short answer, without sounding like a fruitcake, you know?

It sounds to me as if, while there are many reasons people get tatoos, the people here who have posted feel exactly why they have them. They own them. It IS a symbol of hope in the end because to me it just looks like an entire, hugely personal healing 'event' and some sort of victory over the pain. I do not mean to sound so dam hokey, it's just that looking into everyone's hope this way really got to me and made me pretty mushy.

Take care, and thank you,

Anni

 

[onebravegirl]

I have had several close friends who were/are cutters. There is nothing poetic or healing about it. In fact they are not cutting at all to heal. It is more like they cut in an effort to release emotional agony. One of the Horrors of PTSD is that emotions can cause real physical pain. A cutter chooses literal pain in an effort to stop the emotional pain. The adrenaline released somehow gives the illusion of easing the pain. This "relief " is only temporary and the desire to feel it becomes adictive. It is so sad to think of people who do this, but it happens more than people really apprectiate. The women I knew started as early as 5 years of age. Two of them had repeatedly cut their own throats. HEART BREAKING.
O

 

[gdf]

Tatooing seems to be a controversial subject no matter what the reason is for doing it. I don't think there are any incorrect observations in this thread as it is all very personal and yes cutting it tragic. I guess I was curious if the two things, pain from cutting and pain from tatooing could be related, or represent the same thing. It feels like a split decision on whether the two could be connected. There seems to be a variety of things we do, enduring pain in the process, to change things about ourselves. Teeth filing, body piercing, cosmetic surgery, botox, extreme dieting or even the practice of foot binding. We do these things for reasons of culture, society or just as personal decisions and desires. Pain is an expression of something but I guess only the idividual can determine its significance to self and whether it is harmful or helpful.

Before I got mine, various people told me tatoos are adictive...after you get the first one you always seem to want to do it again. I seldom meet people who have only one. It is something to ponder as we all explore our feelings on what these feeling and actions mean to us.

If we are doing it for the wrong reasons then it is worth exploring or seeking professional assistance for our feelings about it.

Gina

 

[anni]

Yes, Gina that is very true. It's well worthwhile exploring our motivations for anything undertaken which we're not sure about. There's just no point in seeking therapy if one isn't completely honest with oneself. I'd just like to add that 'we' do tend to be terribly hard on ourselves, and it's easy to view our actions and intents from a negative perspective. Sometimes we do need a trusted professional to help guide us to our own realizations, I know.

It just struck me that if therapy contains neccesary pain, and hence promotes healing, then all self-inflicted pain might not neccesarily be a negative thing in the context of tattoing. It does, of course, come down to one's inherant motivation, and only the sufferer can figure that one out in the end, I know.

Anni

 

[growingpains]

I think this thread is great, not only for the wonderful input everyone has on the subject, but there is something else here. How many people without PTSD actually question the motive behind getting a tattoo? I would guess that very few actually do. So it is a sign of very good mental/emotional health to question and study our relationships to our behavior. I am very impressed.

 

[Lethe]

I think that there's a connection between the pain involved in cutting/self-harm and the pain involved in tattooing, at least for some people. But there's a lot of ways people can harm themselves in ways that are "acceptable". People never even blinked once when I was willing to step into the ring with another guy and we'd beat each other till we were spitting blood and I wasn't able to see out of my left eye for 3 days afterwards. I think it comes down to being able to recognize and understand why you are doing these things and know if they're helping or hurting you.

 

[cheddar2000]

I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for the first time in my life. Your explanation was spot on for why I want one. I think though that right now (I am coming up on 50). You have given me a lot to think about as far as taking control vs. self-harm (I am a past self-harmer). I am not sure which reasons I am using to get a tattoo so I do have to step back and think some more about my own internal motives.

 

[becvan]

I could see how this could be an expression of self harm. Very interesting. Myself, my tattoos are simply an expression of me. An aspect of myself that I want to represent to the world. I love tattoos they are beautiful and art. The pain part of it, is not there for me. It doesn't hurt. Actually the stupid things tickle.. lol I love the self insight I am seeing in this thread, very good stuff.

bec

 

[onebravegirl]

I could see how this could be an expression of self harm. Very interesting. Myself, my tattoos are simply an expression of me. An aspect of myself that I want to represent to the world. I love tattoos they are beautiful and art. The pain part of it, is not there for me. It doesn't hurt. Actually the stupid things tickle.. lol I love the self insight I am seeing in this thread, very good stuff.

bec

Maybe its a Canadian thing! Mine tickled too!
O