Hi, I just wanted to share a bit of good therapy news. I’ve been in therapy about 6-7 months now and while I could tell from the beginning that my therapist was a good one, there have been some hiccups along the way. I think it was our second or third session together that I just spilled all the details of my sexual assault (and regretted it almost immediately after, but one of my parts really wanted to get it out there!) and she responded with certain words that made me uncomfortable and added to already existing feelings of guilt and shame. I know it wasn’t intentional, and she’s always been very open about the fact that she makes mistakes and doesn’t always make the right call with certain approaches, but I have been holding back in therapy ever since then. After I initially shared with her, we did some emdr on it and I began truly processing the assault for the first time since it happened nearly a decade ago. But because I was hurt over the way she responded I have hardly brought the assault up at all in sessions since then and instead would find random things to bring up even when that was the primary thing bothering me that week.
I’m happy to say that the last session I had with her I FINALLY was able to speak with her about how the words she used made me extremely uncomfortable and added to these layers of guilt and shame that I have. Her response was better than I could have expected! She was so understanding, apologetic, and compassionate. She even thanked ME for bringing this to her attention because it gives her the opportunity to grow as a therapist. I’ve had many bad experiences in the past with therapists saying harmful things, or feeling so judged that I don’t even touch on any relevant topics. I am just so grateful that I’ve found a t that feels safe enough to bring this hard material to, and that I even feel safe enough to stand up for myself (even if it took nearly 5 months!) I think I can finally say that I feel closer and like I have a connection with her.
I just wanted to share this news because it’s such a relief after feeling so cut off and disconnected in therapy from the beginning, regardless of knowing/sensing that she’s a good t that I could trust. I won’t lie though, I am a bit anxious as I know that now is the time where I really have to start working through and processing these difficult events...
I’m happy to say that the last session I had with her I FINALLY was able to speak with her about how the words she used made me extremely uncomfortable and added to these layers of guilt and shame that I have. Her response was better than I could have expected! She was so understanding, apologetic, and compassionate. She even thanked ME for bringing this to her attention because it gives her the opportunity to grow as a therapist. I’ve had many bad experiences in the past with therapists saying harmful things, or feeling so judged that I don’t even touch on any relevant topics. I am just so grateful that I’ve found a t that feels safe enough to bring this hard material to, and that I even feel safe enough to stand up for myself (even if it took nearly 5 months!) I think I can finally say that I feel closer and like I have a connection with her.
I just wanted to share this news because it’s such a relief after feeling so cut off and disconnected in therapy from the beginning, regardless of knowing/sensing that she’s a good t that I could trust. I won’t lie though, I am a bit anxious as I know that now is the time where I really have to start working through and processing these difficult events...
