work christmas party

[Muttly]

This is a place for ranting and raving. And I think you are making a good decision by not going. I have had a lot of troubles with saying "no" to something after I agreed to it. My therapist has been working hard at getting me to understand that it is ok to change my answer. "I'm sorry, I thought I could make it. It turns out I have a conflict".

 

[Teamwork]

I don't care much for our annual church Christmas party and have opted out year after year now for awhile. It is really triggering and no alcohol involved. I've learned along the way that i dont have to say anything. I just stay neutral or quite about it if its being talked about, most dont know if I'm in or out until the day of. Not a lot ask if I'm going either but those that do I just say no, not this year. Really, what the issue is sometimes is some people dont let us just say no to something without the explanation and I've learned a simple no and nothing more is about all people are going to get from me. Most move on anyway. Some people really enjoy these types of gatherings and I on the other hand enjoy staying away. I dont feel like I missed anything, even when they talk about it afterwards.

 

[IamFree]

I don't care much for our annual church Christmas party and have opted out year after year now for awhile. It is really triggering and no alcohol involved. I've learned along the way that i dont have to say anything. I just stay neutral or quite about it if its being talked about, most dont know if I'm in or out until the day of. Not a lot ask if I'm going either but those that do I just say no, not this year. Really, what the issue is sometimes is some people dont let us just say no to something without the explanation and I've learned a simple no and nothing more is about all people are going to get from me. Most move on anyway. Some people really enjoy these types of gatherings and I on the other hand enjoy staying away. I dont feel like I missed anything, even when they talk about it afterwards.

Yes every case has to be judges on its own merits. In my own case its a very small departemnt and a flat no could be taken as a snub. and I do really like my team i do not want to hurt anyones feelings while at the same time I do not want to annihliate everyone with the ins outs of how my current condition may affect me in this situation and i am just not feeling ready yet and I learned a long time ago that even the most well meaning individuals just wont get it. They see you looking ok and think you should do it but they cant see that your going through a process and what you engage with has to be realistic to were you feel like your at right now. I do not want to get all preachy about the alcohol situation as well . I am allowing my self a white lie in this case. i have decided to say my father has asked if he can visit that weekend and i did not want to say no because he is not feeling well lately.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I’ve found over the years that less is more with excuses. People fill in the blanks with whatever they want to hear.

Some fan favorites:

“I really wish I could, but I have a conflict that evening.”

“I have a meeting that I need to attend” (meetings can be with a friend, your bed, the cat ...)

“I have a family conflict.” (Family can be anyone or anything or yourself ...).

“I’m so sorry I won’t be able to make it. Are you going? Can you let everyone know that I’m super bummed I can’t be there with them? I can’t wait to hear all about the fun you’ll have without me.”

Or the best day-of: “I have the migraine from hell and need to go home and rest.”

 

[EveHarrington]

I think white lies are ok.

In general, is lying a good thing? No....but sometimes it’s necessary to just keep the status quo, not hurt someone’s feelings, etc.

 

[IamFree]

I think white lies are ok.

In general, is lying a good thing? No....but sometimes it’s necessary to just keep the status quo, not hurt someone’s feelings, etc.

I agree I do not think the decision to must not be taken lightly in any circumstance but if your absolutely certain no one will get hurt or cheated as a result..in fact everyone benifets from it ...of course the most desirable thing is to avoid getting in to situations were you feel like you need to ...as in this case agreeing to something before thinking it through and needing to find a way out.

I’ve found over the years that less is more with excuses. People fill in the blanks with whatever they want to hear.

Some fan favorites:

“I really wish I could, but I have a conflict that evening.”

“I have a meeting that I need to attend” (meetings can be with a friend, your bed, the cat ...)

“I have a family conflict.” (Family can be anyone or anything or yourself ...).

“I’m so sorry I won’t be able to make it. Are you going? Can you let everyone know that I’m super bummed I can’t be there with them? I can’t wait to hear all about the fun you’ll have without me.”

Or the best day-of: “I have the migraine from hell and need to go home and rest.”

I think in many case that can work. I think in my own certain case because I already agreed I think it will require some definite reason which will not be questioned or taken as a snub.

 

[blackemerald1]

Can you just not go? I mean everyone has things come up that are unforeseen...

So, let your work colleagues think you are going, intending on going and not turn up?? ...shrug... on Monday when or if they ask.... say 'yeah well I couldn't make it... what was it like - did you all have a great time?

A little bit of mystery goes a long way sometimes lol..