I am not sure what happened - Online Therapist Terminated

[mylunareclipse]

After being in therapy with the same therapist for three years, I thought to give online therapy a try as is it was the only thing I could afford and attend at this time.
I had been talking to this therapist for about a month or so...
She was VERY validating, kind, nice etc.
Last live video session she had someone walking around cleaning her house during our session. I confronted her and I said I didn't appreciate that she had someone walking around. She responded by saying well the person doesn't understand English. I said either way it was distracting and didn't allow me to be vulnerable and trusting. She messaged back saying she decided to terminate our work as she doesn't think we are a good match and our work together is difficult. I am so hurt and feel so rejected....
Wow was totally not expecting that.

 

[hithere]

After being in therapy with the same therapist for three years, I thought to give online therapy a try as is it was the only thing I could afford and attend at this time.
I had been talking to this therapist for about a month or so...
She was VERY validating, kind, nice etc.
Last live video session she had someone walking around cleaning her house during our session. I confronted her and I said I didn't appreciate that she had someone walking around. She responded by saying well the person doesn't understand English. I said either way it was distracting and didn't allow me to be vulnerable and trusting. She messaged back saying she decided to terminate our work as she doesn't think we are a good match and our work together is difficult. I am so hurt and feel so rejected....
Wow was totally not expecting that.

THAT IS SO WRONG! What a hack she is! To say the work is difficult! Dont pick therapy as your career. Please try to see that it is this awful therapist and not you. She was wrong to assume her "cleaner" doesn't understand english! Trust me! Many of my friends pretend they don't understand english--it's just easier for them that way. But they do understand and it is wrong to have someone walking around while you are conducting a private therapy session.

Wow, I'm just angry at her. So unprofessional! I had a horrible experience with an online counselor through my insurance, also.

 

[mylunareclipse]

Thank you.
I feel so hurt and crying. And I have to somehow come to this conclusion that I didn't do anything particularly wrong or awful and that it's ok.
It helped to get your validation.
I'm just a bit confused. To me this is not professional. It seems like a privacy violation....but to her it seems like nothing.

 

[Friday]

To me this is not professional. It seems like a privacy violation....but to her it seems like nothing.

Exactly.

It is unprofessional and a violation of privacy, and she doesn’t care.

That’s not anything you did wrong. That’s what she did wrong.

 

[mylunareclipse]

Thank you @Friday i guess it's hard to learn that someone can be kind and nice to us but also screw up and not care. Ouch that hurts.
Cried my eyes out for an hour. Right now I feel scared of searching for a therapist again but maybe at one point I will be able to trust again. Thank you for the validation.

 

[Justmehere]

Is she part of an online therapy group? Can you report the situation to that Royo or online platform?

It’s a pretty ridiculous situation. The one good thing: you found out somewhat quickly that she doesn’t have her stuff together and is very unprofessional.

 

[mylunareclipse]

You are right @Justmehere. Maybe it's for the best in the long run. She never even apologized. It's just so weird as she was so nice. I guess she couldn't handle this confrontation and I guess called it quits.This was counseling through BetterHelp. Of course I could report her. It just feels like bad karma. On the other hand this feels like a basic violation. One time her husband also came in the background but it was for a brief second. But the person cleaning was walking around multiple times. Ugh just feels so weird. How can she not see how wrong this is?

 

[Justmehere]

I used BetterHelp once. I know a few people who have tried it and found it to be wonderful. I met with a super great therapist twice, and the third time was terrible. It lacked professionalism. It threw me because the first two sessions were great too.

There is an option to request a new counselor and report problems, and I did that, but ended up going back to my offline therapist by then. I’d give it a try again myself if I was looking for online counseling again. It was a neat platform. But I want to validate that the pattern with a wonky therapist flaking out isn’t just you.

 

[FauxLiz]

@wishforescape not only was she unprofessional but when you called her on it she blamed you. This was not your fault, you are not difficult. The fact that during the course of a video session you were able to see both her husband and cleaning woman tells me that she has no clear understanding of the major HIPPA violation that she committed. Both parties could potentially see you on the screen, and hear the conversation. The fact that you could see them walking in the background means that you do not have any confidence that they or anyone else is not sitting off screen during your session. I am not saying that you shouldn't give online therapy another chance but you should report the other therapist to the company and ask potential future therapists to give you a video tour of their space so that you can ensure there isn't any way that some one could stand outside an open doorway, be sitting in a chair just out of view etc. Unlike in a traditional therapy session where you can see the closed door and be reasonably sure that the conversation can not be heard outside.

 

[mylunareclipse]

Thank you. I saw her husband on a previous session but he was way further. Vs the lady cleaning was walking clearly behind her chair multiple times clearly able to see and hear what is going on. But hey she couldn't "couldn't" understand English. I think this BS answer made me a bit more mad, but then she went ahead and quit on me so that threw me off a little bit.
It helps to get everyone's opinion here. She was at times a good therapist and person but I guess she was lacking true training where privacy should be number 1.
There were some other issues like crying on the first session because she said she went through the same thing I went through.
But I guess the privacy thing is hard to overcome if I am to truly trust her.
Now I feel a little less crazy after reading your responses.

 

[Abstract]

This is so totally not you and totally is her. It sounds like she may have issues of her own and is unable to deal with sufficiently to be a functional therapist. Please do report her if you are able for everyones sakes including her. Bigger repercussions may happen with someone else if she continues down this path. Well done for being able to see what was right and not.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it’s important to realize that most abusive people have a “nice” side. I’m not saying she was abusive, rather I want you to be able to judge someone as a 360 degree person and not get blindsided by the initial “nice” stuff. Everyone puts their good side forward initially. We can’t truly know someone until we’ve been around them awhile.