How to set up your life & employment so you can manage your PTSD, but also work & contribute to society?

[ms spock]

I recently retrained as a teacher in Australia in the last couple of years. Things are pretty grim in Australian schools, there are a lot of 20 year, 30 year plus experienced teachers resigning. 50% of teachers quit in the first five years, so I want to have some back ups if it doesn't work out for me. So far I am doing pretty well, but there is no way I could do full time (yet) maybe this time next year, but right now, not at all.

Last week I taught one day and that was fine, because the week before I had taught 5 days, and it was too much. I was so tired I was burnt out. I couldn't actually talk for a couple of days.

So I have to learn a happy medium,

1. get a part time teaching job,
2. work out how to get enough relief teaching work but not too much,
3. work teaching for a zoo or wildlife park,
4. present/teach at a tourist type place
5. or start my own business.

All have their pros and cons, so I am going to educate myself on what the options are and how I can access them.

My psychiatrist is in favour of me running my own business because then I have total control over my own scheduling.

Where I taught yesterday would be optimum as there are only five other teachers there, it is outdoor science, and it doesn't have the wear and teach of a larger school, but they are all pretty shattered. They work hard, and they give a lot to their students, so there are no cruisy teaching jobs, but there are ones where you can feel like you are making a difference. I don't quite have the capacity to manage full time there yet - but part time I could manage there. There will be no positions coming up there as no one will leave because it is a good school. But I am there relief teacher.

There has to be a teaching job, where

1. I can have the space to manage my PTSD,
2. look after and visit Papa Bear, and there are still many appointments for him, and
3. take care of B, and his complex medical needs
4. as well as manage the house and cooking
5. and rest and recuperate.
6. manage my very spotty sleep
7. manage my chronic pain

So far I am doing really well, though it has been really hard going and tough at times.

So I am sure I can manage a bit more if it was regular and there weren't toxic interpersonal dynamics. But on the whole, in schools, where there is a lot of burnout, there are plenty of toxic workplaces.

So I know what I don't want. But I also have to be realistic about what I can manage. What I can manage this time next year will be different from what I can manage right now. So I will grow and develop.

However the potential to burn myself out in a month is very high at the moment, so I need to pull back, and go for the marathon and not the sprint.

So I was wondering how other people have managed reentry back into the workforce?

 

[ms spock]

I am really close to burn out. So I have to stop and take stock. There was a great grants writing opportunity that I could have done for the organisation with the two crazy ladies but I couldn't be bothered. It would have got the organisation $30,000 but really I thought "Do I really want to put my energy in there?" No, not really. I couldn't be bothered. Also if they don't acquit the money adequately that will reflect on my reputation as a grants writer.

 

[ms spock]

I went to another work place and they have let all their turtles die.

I don't want to work for a place that cannot even do basic husbandry for turtles. That is just pathetic. Terribly pathetic. So ethically that is not a place to work either.

I clearly told them what they needed to do to keep those turtles alive. It is a basic provision under the Act that needs to be done as basic care and maintenance. They didn't do it.

So I don't have much respect for them either.

So really that is another place that I don't ethically want to work.

I walked in and looked at one set of insects and thought, they will be dead at the end of the day, because there is no food and no foliage. I went back at the end of the day to fix it up, but it was too late. They were dead. This is not rocket science. It is animal neglect. So I was disappointed. It is tricky when you are the new person. But also this is illegal and unlawful behaviour under the Act. Giving an animal water is basic animal husbandry. This is disgusting.

 

[shimmerz]

I have had just these issues as of late. I think the only way I am going to be able to work again is to make my own opportunities (read business). I have had to turn down a few peer supporter opportunities because I know that what they are going to ask of me will be too much and I can't risk blowing myself out again. I still have healing to do and I need to direct my own energy around work.

 

[LuckiLee]

What about tutoring? Make your own schedule. One on one. In your home. Cash money. Choose your own students...

I admire your ambition. You should be proud of yourself!

 

[ms spock]

I am so exhausted at the moment I am just sleeping. I am worn to a frazzled heap.

 

[mumstheword]

I totally get it. I am wondering the same thing myself, but I am still a way from being ready to work again. My energy levels and capacity to push myself are not what they used to be. I am concentrating on my carer roles, my self care, independent study and therapy for now. I do want to work again but study will come first.

 

[ms spock]

I have been over doing it. And so I have spent most of the day sleeping. I need to learn to stop before I get to the point of being so tired that I can barely speak.

 

[Tinyflame]

I feel for you, I don't know how I can keep going. I've worked the better part of the last 36 years and there is no end in sight. I know my strength is one-to-one contact, but I so wish I could work from home. I am very tired and my body isn't what it used to be. Though, it is the emotional and psychological demands, stress and fear that uses a great deal of energy up- yet, I know I could dance all day, if that were an option. So it's not only physical. I think it's the dove tailing of doing what you love, and finding a niche, but admitting and respecting your realities. And knowing, in most places, those realities won't be understood or respected or meeting them possible. And then eventually, something will give.

Rest and remember what and who you value most, that it's only one day at a time, we cannot know the future, and nor does it have to be all or nothing, no matter what you decide. :hug:

 

[ms spock]

I can't risk blowing myself out again. I still have healing to do and I need to direct my own energy around work.

I don't know how to do the balance thing yet. I crashed and slept today - most of the day. It is a real challenge for me.

I totally get it. I do want to work again but study will come first.

You have a plan that's good.

I feel for you,

Thanks

Rest and remember what and who you value most, that it's only one day at a time, we cannot know the future, and nor does it have to be all or nothing, no matter what you decide. :hug:

I struggle with all or nothing thinking.

 

[intothelight]

I don't know how to do the balance thing yet.

I think that is the hardest part and it is something that I still struggle with. Things that help are doing something you enjoy overall as it make it easier to weather the day-to-day stress associated with a job. When you are doing something you are passionate about, little things stay little.

Then there is the struggle of balancing not just work, but self care, personal relationships, social commitments, and just the daily things of bills, housework, yard work, etc. The first that I have learned is it is critical that I take care of my health as when I feel well everything else is more manageable. The second thing is managing stress as nothing will wear me down or take me down then letting the stress of life overwhelm me.

Each day is tweaking the balance for that day and some are more successful than others. You aren't alone in this and I find that most people I know find the work/life balance a struggle. PTSD adds another degree of difficulty, but I think the more we know our own strengths and limitations the balance can be achieved at least on most days.

 

[ms spock]

I think that is the hardest part and it is something that I still struggle with.

I am right at the beginning of this journey.

Things that help are doing something you enjoy overall as it make it easier to weather the day-to-day stress associated with a job. When you are doing something you are passionate about, little things stay little.

I have got to be careful of not being in a toxic work environment. Or putting up with too much poor behaviour.

Then there is the struggle of balancing not just work, but self care, personal relationships, social commitments, and just the daily things of bills, housework, yard work, etc.

The house is a disaster at the moment.

The first that I have learned is it is critical that I take care of my health as when I feel well everything else is more manageable.

I am not so good at this yet.

The second thing is managing stress as nothing will wear me down or take me down then letting the stress of life overwhelm me.

The stress of dealing with the two bedroom crazy women is too much. Other people don't come in when they come in. The 85 year old shifts everything all the time. It actually hasn't been worth hanging in there.

Each day is tweaking the balance for that day and some are more successful than others.

i worked five days and did training as well. I was a wreck. I am still doing the training. More and more places don't have the ethics that I wish to live my life by.

You aren't alone in this and I find that most people I know find the work/life balance a struggle.

Yeah it is hard. I have to not get to the point of barely being able to talk or move.

PTSD adds another degree of difficulty, but I think the more we know our own strengths and limitations the balance can be achieved at least on most days.

I need to learn more about this. I am on my L plates.