Talking about your trauma

[siniang]

Hi,

While I may not have an official diagnosis of PTSD, I do have a trauma history. I've avoided talking or even thinking about it ever since it happened, but I noticed that, if I at all have to talk about it for some reason, I do it in a very detached, matter-of-fact kind of way. I'm not getting upset or emotional about it, at all. Not so much when thinking about it for myself ("intrusive thoughts"-like), which is upsetting and extremely uncomfortable and I do try to push away all thoughts about it, but definitely when having to talk about it with someone (or even write about it). I do it almost analytically, a little bit like an outside observer. I can easily provide a summary, details, ... without feeling anything, all while knowing that it happened to me (even-though it doesn't feel like it at that moment). I guess it comes across as really weird for someone else, because it gives the impression that my trauma wasn't nearly as bad as I do feel about it most other times (I gotta avoid thinking about it and getting extremely uneasy for a reason, right? ;) )

Can someone relate?

 

[somerandomguy]

That is so normal as to be part of the usual template of post-traumatic stress. It's not just you. It's more usual than not among people who can talk about their trauma.

For me, talking about what happened to me was simple and easy, almost robotic. But I had no feelings attached to it. Once I started feeling emotions again, it got very, very difficult to talk about.

 

[Ronin]

Yep, got thinking the Q should be more like: Raise hands if you don't relate. ;)

 

[EveHarrington]

That’s completely normal. I’d bet many, most of us do that or have done that.

 

[siniang]

Ah ?Ok. I was just wondering since, while reading through the forum that most people seem to not recall any, most, or some details of their trauma (which is a diagnostic criteria, too) and at least just from the written words (which miss tone, of course) most reports seemed very emotional and the people upset about the event.

I can see how my own way of talking about it, almost really casually, can someone hit on the wrong foot and could come across as bragging ("yes, this really happened to me, can you believe that? How weird, isn't it?" - and yes, I'm still dwelling on that comment in my other thread)

 

[EveHarrington]

I was just wondering since, while reading through the forum that most people seem to not recall any, most, or some details of their trauma (which is a diagnostic criteria, too)

It’s not a necessary criteria.

 

[siniang]

Oh c'mon now :) I never said it's a necessary criteria, but it is ONE of the possible diagnostic criteria.

(Criterion D: negative alterations in cognitions and mood (two required) - Inability to recall key features of the trauma)

 

[EveHarrington]

Ok, was just trying to help.

I think nobody wants my input anymore as I get lots of kickback when I genuinely try to help people.

You don’t have a diagnosis and your posts indicate that there’s a lot about ptsd that you don’t understand, so I was just trying to say that not remembering every part of the trauma isn’t necessary.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It's called a flat affect and it's extremely common when someone has experienced trauma, even without having PTSD. It isn't a PTSD thing so to speak. It's a trauma thing.

Edited to add: The speaking robotically without emotion I mean.

 

[Gs172003]

It's called a flat affect and it's extremely common when someone has experienced trauma, even without having PTSD. It isn't a PTSD thing so to speak. It's a trauma thing.

Edited to add: The speaking robotically without emotion I mean.

Is this accurate?

Flat affect: Symptoms, conditions, and treatment

I can't talk about my stuff at all so I guess I'm in the "thousand yard stare" category if it is.

 

[siniang]

That is so normal as to be part of the usual template of post-traumatic stress. It's not just you. It's more usual than not among people who can talk about their trauma.

Interesting, thank you! I just looked it up. Never heard this term before.

almost robotic

The speaking robotically without emotion I mean.

See, that's the thing. I don't talk about it robotically, just really really casually, like smalltalk about the weather. Almost trivializing. But I guess that's exactly the point? I'm trivializing for myself? To avoid feeling and potentially showing the attached emotions I usually try to avoid?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is this accurate?

Per my therapist and loads of research, yes, it is.

It's common in many other health and mental health disorders as well but common for those that have been traumatized.

smalltalk about the weather

This is what flat affect is. I talk about my trauma in this way as well. I describe, what my therapist calls, "horrific physical and sexual torture", like I am reading off a weather report and advising someone it's raining outside. Void of any emotion. That's flat affect.