I feel like everything is falling apart

[galaxies-far-away]

hi galaxy here,

I have had a history of depression and cds related ptsd mental issues since I was 13. when I was in middle school I was bullied a lot and had suicidal ideation issues and depression.

during that time I’d come up with ideas like jump out of a window or something to end it.

in high school I had a few years of on and off depression but it was horrific when i was in my sophomore and junior year when I would have periods that became what I believed to be almost hypomanic. like I could go 2 week of deep depression and then have 1-2 weeks of thinking I was going to la and go X factor at one point and asking around for weed and pills to escape the pain from people I knew. Thank

during the 1-2 weeks of high points i’d brush off the depression and act like it didn’t matter.

right now I’m going through another depressive episode and I just feel numb like I’m falling and it’s not worth trying at all.

thanks for listening

 

[bellbird]

Hey galaxy, thanks for reaching out.
Are you receiving any support / health care IRL currently? It sounds like you could really benefit from that :)

I had many years of severe depression and suicidality. I never thought I would know what it was like to live without it. But now it has been over one year where I haven't had my depression diagnosis.

For me it was a combination of a lot of things that finally allowed a breakthrough: medications, therapy, exercise, proper nutrition, sleep, and finding things in life that I am passionate about.

I have so many moments now, just in day to day life, where I think to myself: I'm so glad I'm alive. So keep hanging in there, because it really really does get better.

 

[galaxies-far-away]

Hey galaxy, thanks for reaching out.
Are you receiving any support / health care IRL currently? It sounds like you could really benefit from that :)

I had many years of severe depression and suicidality. I never thought I would know what it was like to live without it. But now it has been over one year where I haven't had my depression diagnosis.

For me it was a combination of a lot of things that finally allowed a breakthrough: medications, therapy, exercise, proper nutrition, sleep, and finding things in life that I am passionate about.

I have so many moments now, just in day to day life, where I think to myself: I'm so glad I'm alive. So keep hanging in there, because it really really does get better.

hi I have never been to therapy. what is it like?

 

[bellbird]

Sorry for my late response, @galaxies-far-away .
Therapy is really helpful.

I know, for a lot of people, they fear that going to therapy means they are weak or unable to cope on their own, but really it is the opposite -- we all need a little help from time to time, and it's a very brave and strong thing to reach out for help.

My experiences with therapy have all been really positive.

Therapy was the first place where I told some IRL about the things I've been through. My therapist listened without judgement, taught me techniques to help with grounding, anxiety and self worth amongst many other things.

There are different modalities of therapy, that different therapists are trained in.

But as a starting platform it is a great place to go if you need to talk to someone, without judgement.

 

[galaxies-far-away]

Sorry for my late response, @galaxies-far-away .
Therapy is really helpful.

I know, for a lot of people, they fear that going to therapy means they are weak or unable to cope on their own, but really it is the opposite -- we all need a little help from time to time, and it's a very brave and strong thing to reach out for help.

My experiences with therapy have all been really positive.

Therapy was the first place where I told some IRL about the things I've been through. My therapist listened without judgement, taught me techniques to help with grounding, anxiety and self worth amongst many other things.

There are different modalities of therapy, that different therapists are trained in.

But as a starting platform it is a great place to go if you need to talk to someone, without judgement.

thank you for responding. is it best to go to a psychiatrist first or a therapist? I haven’t been to a therapist since I was 6.

 

[bellbird]

When I first started therapy, I hadn't yet been to see a psychiatrist.

So it really depends, and I don't think there's any right or wrong in terms of the order in which you see them :)

Do you have access to either a psychiatrist or therapist currently?

 

[AGTT]

I agree therapy is good, for atleast your thoughts exist out side of you, and for someone to hear them. I think it's great. Makes you feel less isolated and less over whelmed.

I've recognised that I think I'm either going through some depression now or at risk of.. I'm going so seek some therapy, in the mean time I'm going to try to small things to help me. I can remember in previous depresions doing small activities helped. And achiveing small things helped. Even if it's like you need to do your washing, or go get groceries, or other small tasks. Achieving them really helps I think. And balances out the spiraling. And it feels good knowing you've done something productive.

Wish you all the best

Peace and love

 

[galaxies-far-away]

When I first started therapy, I hadn't yet been to see a psychiatrist.

So it really depends, and I don't think there's any right or wrong in terms of the order in which you see them :)

Do you have access to either a psychiatrist or therapist currently?

I currently do not. but I’m honestly unsure of where to start. I feel like getting diagnosed is most important imo

I agree therapy is good, for atleast your thoughts exist out side of you, and for someone to hear them. I think it's great. Makes you feel less isolated and less over whelmed.

I've recognised that I think I'm either going through some depression now or at risk of.. I'm going so seek some therapy, in the mean time I'm going to try to small things to help me. I can remember in previous depresions doing small activities helped. And achiveing small things helped. Even if it's like you need to do your washing, or go get groceries, or other small tasks. Achieving them really helps I think. And balances out the spiraling. And it feels good knowing you've done something productive.

Wish you all the best

Peace and love

thank you so much for helping! I’ve been feeling worse realizing I’ve “fallen off” from my habits when I’m in a normal state. But at least it’s better for me to deal with this now instead of 10 more years down the line.

 

[bellbird]

I currently do not. but I’m honestly unsure of where to start. I feel like getting diagnosed is most important imo

Seems like seeing a psychiatrist could be a good place to start then :)

If you have a GP, you could ask them for a referral?

Or alternatively, you could do an online search for psychiatrists in your area and see if it is possible to self refer? (in NZ, where I am, you can self refer to some psychiatrists)

 

[AGTT]

I currently do not. but I’m honestly unsure of where to start. I feel like getting diagnosed is most important imo


thank you so much for helping! I’ve been feeling worse realizing I’ve “fallen off” from my habits when I’m in a normal state. But at least it’s better for me to deal with this now instead of 10 more years down the line.

Yeah it sucks knowing you've "fallen off' this is exactly where I'm at too, but it's also natural to have ups and downs... Don't be too hard on yourself I've found I need to do too. But, once you know you've fallen off, try and decide productive things u can do, the 'small' things to help you, because they are kinda like self healing when u do achieve small steps cause it's like.. you deserve to balance out and add some positive energy to cancel some of the negative.

Also doing some tasks can feel like a massive deal when you are low, but when you've done them .... Feels great.

 

[Deanna]

Also doing some tasks can feel like a massive deal when you are low, but when you've done them .... Feels great.

Always feels ?!

Exercise, too! Try walking around the block, then walk twice around the block.. Then go to a mall and find the mallwalkers. ( I think It's a club or maybe just here)

 

[AGTT]

Always feels ?!

Exercise, too! Try walking around the block, then walk twice around the block.. Then go to a mall and find the mallwalkers. ( I think It's a club or maybe just here)

Yessss!!! Absolutely! I went out for a run yesterday only for 20 mins but felt good to get out.

We got this :)