Drowning in abyss of nothing spiraling

[AJ45]

Its like nothing exists anymore i try each day(which I know you all know what that means) the constant fight body cant take anymore it makes me physically ill( body pains, stomach issues, headaches etc) the self harm has gone down hill today but want to keep doing it :/. I know its so wrong to want to give up but its so hard not to. Constant pain thoughts feelings. I know things could be way worse and im lucky/ grateful. Yet still drowning to point of no return. I don't want any of this it hurts too much and hurts even more knowing that others go through worse and deserve more help. I feel like I'm too far gone for anyone to help me at this point. My ability to fight as been sucked out of me repeatedly in the most violent ways. I scream for help but nothing comes out. The neglect abuse assaults being sold all the bad has left me with no voice(if i ever had one) im a ghost there nothing left.

 

[Wonder Woman]

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. I'm sorry you were not permitted to have a voice in the past. You didn't deserve that pain, or its legacy.

You have a voice today, at this moment. And you've used it well to express your feelings.

(My words seem to be escaping me today. So, please forgive me if I am not very clear.)

Is there one thing, any little thing, that might possibly bring you a small amount of distraction or comfort?

I was feeling overwhelmed this afternoon, and I developed a migraine. I took a nap. I still feel discouraged and hate the feelings my body is forcing upon me. However, I'm able to handle thus junk just a little better than I had been earlier, because I took a nap.

Is there something you can do that might make things a little easier to manage?

Sending you safe hugs. ?

 

[AJ45]

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. I'm sorry you were not permitted to have a voice in the past. You didn't deserve that pain, or its legacy.

You have a voice today, at this moment. And you've used it well to express your feelings.

(My words seem to be escaping me today. So, please forgive me if I am not very clear.)

Is there one thing, any little thing, that might possibly bring you a small amount of distraction or comfort?

I was feeling overwhelmed this afternoon, and I developed a migraine. I took a nap. I still feel discouraged and hate the feelings my body is forcing upon me. However, I'm able to handle thus junk just a little better than I had been earlier, because I took a nap.

Is there something you can do that might make things a little easier to manage?

Sending you safe hugs. ?

Your words are perfect. Ive been in tears on and off since 7 am. Tried cutting no reprieve. Tried eating just made me feel sicker. Been watching Disney movies bit cant focus on them so its just noise.
Cleaned a little but do that every day throught out day
Im so happy to hear you were able to nap
Migraines suck.

I just wish it was ok to give up.

 

[Wonder Woman]

Your words are perfect. Ive been in tears on and off since 7 am. Tried cutting no reprieve. Tried eating just made me feel sicker. Been watching Disney movies bit cant focus on them so its just noise.
Cleaned a little but do that every day throught out day
Im so happy to hear you were able to nap
Migraines suck.

I just wish it was ok to give up.

I hate being in this state, too. When things that have helped before, just don't.

When I feel like giving-up, I remind myself that if I give-up that means I've let the abusers destroy me. Those a**holes have done me enough harm, and I'm not going to let them take my life.

Getting in touch with my anger seems to help me at times.

I wish I could take the pain and suffering away for you. It might help to keep in mind it won't always hurt this much.

Do you have a therapist to reach-out to for greater support?

 

[Changing4Best]

It's so hard, I know. I am starting to slide down that slope too, not enjoying what I used to. I have some real life situations that are bugging me, on top of all that this virus is doing to us all. Yes, my traumas have been stirred up too. I like the idea that we can't let the abusers win! So somehow we need to pick ourselves up and carry on as best we can. Do you have anyone you can call who is willing to listen? Try to call them. It might help.