Going Back to In Person Therapy Possibly

[SinkorSwim]

So my therapist gave us the option of staying with video therapy or going to in person therapy. She will only see in person people one day a week and will be doing video the other three days of the week. I personally can't get anything done over video therapy and I have told her this many times. I just don't feel good spewing my world to her unless it's in her office which I consider a safe spot. I can't shut my brain off at home when I do therapy via video. She sent out a list with all the protocols and rules that we are to follow. She says we don't need to wear a mask but she will. I still will. She said we will maintain 6 feet the whole time and I won't have to touch any doors. I can wash my hands and use sanitizer etc. I feel like she is doing everything she can to keep me safe. There are just so many rules I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I wear masks where ever I go and haven't been going out only to do grocery shopping but it scares me every time I see a person wearing a mask. Maybe that's why I battle through going grocery shopping. I'm afraid i'll just be scared of her all over again and won't get anything accomplished in person now. I just feel like I lost my therapy all together that it's just not going to be the same anymore. I don't know what to do.

 

[Teamwork]

I’m struggling too. I’ve done two video therapy sessions and both times signed in, flipped the ipad over so that I can‘t see him, he can’t see me. I feel too spooked. Ipad was my safe device now it feels less safe. No idea even though we are in phase one and he is allowed to open, he has not and I do not know why. Are you in ontario? Or elsewhere?

 

[SinkorSwim]

I’m struggling too. I’ve done two video therapy sessions and both times signed in, flipped the ipad over so that I can‘t see him, he can’t see me. I feel too spooked. Ipad was my safe device now it feels less safe. No idea even though we are in phase one and he is allowed to open, he has not and I do not know why. Are you in ontario? Or elsewhere?

Wisconsin

 

[whiteraven]

There are just so many rules

I struggle with even the idea of all the rules. Esp. since most of them aren't mandated and the business owner is deciding what to do or not do.

I just feel like I lost my therapy all together that it's just not going to be the same anymore.

Yeah, it won't be. I feel the same.

 

[Movingforward10]

I'm really interested to hear what you decide and how it goes. I have no idea when my T will do F2F again. I haven't asked her.
I'm not sure I would want my T or me to wear a mask. Somehow that seems more limiting than video.

But the rules: do you agree with them? Is it rules that you are struggling with or the number of them? You say you feel your T is doing everything they can to make you feel safe, so do you feel that is part of the rules or coming from somewhere else?

How about trying it out once and see how you go?

If you feel there are so many rules and you might forget one and accidentally break it, won't your T gently remind you? And that is ok? It's a new world with new rules, we're bound to forget something aren't we?

 

[Wendell_R]

And that is ok?

That's an important point, I think. I grew up with erratically enforced rules that made no sense for my age, and I was punished. Now, I get afraid of being punished. My therapist reminds me over and over that I won't get punished if I make a mistake. I will not get in trouble.

 

[Movingforward10]

That's an important point, I think. I grew up with erratically enforced rules that made no sense for my age, and I was punished. Now, I get afraid of being punished. My therapist reminds me over and over that I won't get punished if I make a mistake. I will not get in trouble.

I hear you. I was told I was stupid, so I'm obsessed about not getting things wrong and looking stupid. I think if I missed a rule I would think I was stupid. But we got to remind ourselves it's ok.

 

[somerandomguy]

I personally can't get anything done over video therapy and I have told her this many times.

Well then, I think the choice is clear for you.

Your fears that you'll lose all the gains you've made in therapy is definitely a topic to bring up in therapy,.

 

[SinkorSwim]

Well I decided to try and go back next week. If I don't like it than I can always switch back to video therapy. I feel like the part that is winning over at the moment is I know that is a safe spot where I can talk and be heard and not have to worry about anyone barging in. It will definitely be different with the masks, but so was video therapy at first.

 

[pam4him]

I'm glad you are heading back to in-person therapy, since you feel safer there. She is taking the right precautions, and wants to keep the office safe for you and other clients. Communicate your concerns about how seeing the mask makes you feel. Perhaps if she sat off to the side or behind you where you wouldn't see her in the mask would help? Or together work out a comfortable seating arrangement? It may help to keep telling yourself the mask is a positive thing, not negative. Tell yourself as often as necessary, her mask protects me, her mask is a good thing. Maybe ask if she has a cute one to put on, not necessarily the plain hospital type. That could lesson some of the fear as well. The main thing is to let her know how the masks make you feel, and ask for guidance on good coping skills through this difficult time. So proud of you for continuing therapy. Prayers for peace and wisdom.

 

[Friday]

As long as you and your husband are low risk, so it doesn’t matter about the prolonged exposure in a confined space (unless her office is in some big ass atrium or similar), with her and all of her other clients... I can see why it might be considered worth the risk.

Myself & everyone I live with are different categories of high risk, so we have to isolate pretty hard (even so, we’re not quarantined like I’d prefer; so there’s still a decent chance we’ll get it, as we’re only lessening viral load not eliminating)... And my ex monitors all the phones; which means no calls or video... So I’m mostly taking a break for the next year. Mostly, because I can still write to my T if I really need/want his thoughts on something, and because he’s considering some outdoor therapy once the weather gets better. So I’m not left in the lurch, or anything, it’s simply working in a different direction, on different things, for awhile.

 

[SinkorSwim]

Well I went back to in person therapy today I didn't like it she rearranged her room and it felt cold. She put the couch where I used to sit on the floor. She was literally 12 feet away from me. I couldn't see her expressions at all they were all covered up by her mask. I just feel lost. My mask kept slipping down so that's all I was focused on.