Feeling Disconnected from everyone

[Strangelongtrip]

I've noticed lately that the love and affection I feel for people, both romantic and platonic, feels like it's behind a glass wall. It doesn't feel real, I feel so disconnected from people. I know it's probably this depression episode, but I can't even feel a crush without pushing it away because I can't feel anything the "right" way. I feel like nothing is real. I'm not sure how to work on this. Self esteem work? Depression work? I don't know what to do. I'm going to ask my T soon. Really struggling today.

 

[triptych]

Hey, I don't have any real advice but I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone in this. I think for me it's an emotional numbing thing, I feel pain so I numb out and don't feel anything about anyone or anything. It feels like the world isn't real.

I think an important thing I try to remember is that I do care about the people in my life even if I can't feel it. It's not the caring that's missing it's the connection to emotions. A way I've found helpful to try to reconnect is to notice when I'm grateful that person is around. It doesn't come anywhere close to fixing it but it occasionally works.

 

[Friday]

It’s not something I’ve ever worked on per se... it’s just something I’ve learned to expect to happen, and to basically ignore & act-as-if. Because I don’t have to FEEL love for someone, to know that I love them, and act lovingly towards them. No different than when I wake up feeling like an asshole, but don’t take my shit out on other people. Just because I’m angry, that’s no reason to treat the people around me like garbage, nor is feeling disconnected a reason to act distant nor to manufacture distance.

It DID take me a few years to learn that, though. Early days? I broke up with people, or ended friendships, or moved away... because that’s what I thought you were “supposed” to do. If you don’t love someone? Don’t string them along, but give them a chance to find someone who would love them, and yourself a chance to find someone to love. But? Time and time again, I’d leave... and then a few weeks/months later I’d get my feelings back. Well shit. Too late now! >.<

So I tried sticking around. Low and behold? 9 times out of 10 the pane lifted in its own time, and I loved them just as much as I ever had.

 

[Strangelongtrip]

Thank you both! I ended up getting a med change and my emotions are starting to come back, thank goodness. Both of those are great thoughts to remember. I try to still act lovingly towards people, no matter how I'm feeling. usually I don't have as much capacity to do so, though. I think it's just scary when you can't feel it.

 

[triptych]

Totally get it being scary to show emotions when you don’t feel it. I also think I don’t have as good a gauge on other people’s feelings and how things effect them when I can’t feel my own. As someone who’s normally hyperaware of other people’s moods it kinda feels like being on a boat without a paddle.

 

[lil_fighter]

I've noticed lately that the love and affection I feel for people, both romantic and platonic, feels like it's behind a glass wall. It doesn't feel real, I feel so disconnected from people. I know it's probably this depression episode, but I can't even feel a crush without pushing it away because I can't feel anything the "right" way. I feel like nothing is real. I'm not sure how to work on this. Self esteem work? Depression work? I don't know what to do. I'm going to ask my T soon. Really struggling today.

I hope you are feeling better, sounds like the change of meds has helped. Can totally relate to the glass wall feeling and feeling disconnected. Grounding techniques and things that you may have done in the past that made you feel alive and connected - be it listening to a certain type of music, having your favourite hot drink, watching a nostalgic movie that triggers positive feelings, talking to someone from your support network who you feel "gets it" and that could be a therapist. Feeling that connection again, even if it's in a small way can be so reassuring. I understand when you say that it is scary not feeling connected and not feeling those emotions. The fact that you feel uncomfortable and fear that experience is in a weird way a good thing because you are craving that connection and that is positive. You want to feel connected and you want to be present

 

[rusty_maestro]

It’s not something I’ve ever worked on per se... it’s just something I’ve learned to expect to happen, and to basically ignore & act-as-if. Because I don’t have to FEEL love for someone, to know that I love them, and act lovingly towards them. No different than when I wake up feeling like an asshole, but don’t take my shit out on other people. Just because I’m angry, that’s no reason to treat the people around me like garbage, nor is feeling disconnected a reason to act distant nor to manufacture distance.

It DID take me a few years to learn that, though. Early days? I broke up with people, or ended friendships, or moved away... because that’s what I thought you were “supposed” to do. If you don’t love someone? Don’t string them along, but give them a chance to find someone who would love them, and yourself a chance to find someone to love. But? Time and time again, I’d leave... and then a few weeks/months later I’d get my feelings back. Well shit. Too late now! >.<

So I tried sticking around. Low and behold? 9 times out of 10 the pane lifted in its own time, and I loved them just as much as I ever had.

Thank you for sharing that @Friday. This is exactly what I am going through right now. I broke up with my partner, there was some money issue that put stress on us and I ended a long term relationship. We were both shocked to see ourselves at this point. We decided we wanted to end not angry at one another. I agreed with that, I wasn't angry anyway but had just reached my limit and decided to acknowledge myself.

I was going to move to another town but because of covid, employment and other circumstances it would have just added some extra stress to an already stressed out me and frankly I didn't want to end up alone the way I'm feeling. My partner/ex gracefully invited me to stay as long as I needed understanding I'm in a bad spot so I agreed to stay til I get my head above water at least.

Well little by little the routine sets in and I find myself waiting for her after work, making her diner to help out as I'm not working, we eat together and share our day like a normal relationship should be. But yet I find myself confused and lost because I feel nothing. We must be really done then if I feel that way I'm thinking but I feel nothing about everything (surely there some depression here). I couldn't tell you what gets me going these days other then the hope for better days that's about it.

We talked about couple counselling but for it to work it has to be a committed decision. I feel like the king of procrastinators these days, unlike me, I usually like to get shit done. I have tons to do, know what I have to do but my brain seems to stall every time I get to it. It feels like it's skipping a beat and then I end up staring in the abyss and my brain goes into a loop. I eventually get out of that loop and get to it, but hours have passed and it feels like moving through molasse. I like to know I have done everything in my power so since we haven't tried couple's counselling yet I might give it a shot.

 

[Survivor3]

It’s not something I’ve ever worked on per se... it’s just something I’ve learned to expect to happen, and to basically ignore & act-as-if. Because I don’t have to FEEL love for someone, to know that I love them, and act lovingly towards them. No different than when I wake up feeling like an asshole, but don’t take my shit out on other people. Just because I’m angry, that’s no reason to treat the people around me like garbage, nor is feeling disconnected a reason to act distant nor to manufacture distance.

It DID take me a few years to learn that, though. Early days? I broke up with people, or ended friendships, or moved away... because that’s what I thought you were “supposed” to do. If you don’t love someone? Don’t string them along, but give them a chance to find someone who would love them, and yourself a chance to find someone to love. But? Time and time again, I’d leave... and then a few weeks/months later I’d get my feelings back. Well shit. Too late now! >.<

So I tried sticking around. Low and behold? 9 times out of 10 the pane lifted in its own time, and I loved them just as much as I ever had.

I used to react in a bad way to my emotions that I had with people or circumstances. My brother actually said to me once....'When you change, you change everything '.....and he was right. Not healthy. The actions of a desperate unwell person. I've learnt to not do that anymore. It just leads to more chaos 9 times out of 10.