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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?
- Post starter bobeara
- Start date
Thank you @Survivor3 for sharing my burden. Hugs to you.
I feel it very difficult to compartmentalize today.
I feel it very difficult to compartmentalize today.
Survivor3
VIP Member
your welcome @bird_on_a_wire. I understand when things are just sh*t and you've got no choice but to just sit with it. I'm sorry about your friend and your sister. That's very hard.Thank you @Survivor3 for sharing my burden. Hugs to you.
I feel it very difficult to compartmentalize today.
Thank you so much for your kindness @Survivor3 . Moments like these I feel gutted, and worse yet overwhelmed with what seems like the senselessness of life, and with selfishness also the senselessness and what feels like worthlessness of my own. With a healthy dose of mistrust as alone-ness, too. Which, of course, comes from my own thoughts. But the mistrust comes with wondering, are those thoughts quite accurate and correct? People seem expendable, replaceable, invisible. Nothing is feeling much less the effort, let alone the trust. Do others mean something? Is the measure of worth the degree to which people grieve? Are we all just something or someone til we're nothing? That is what's on my mind this minute. Like when you pick up a hand, living or dead, and there is no connection. It's just what is current and in front of you and changes like the wind. That is what is on my mind this second, the impermanency of life, care, connection, value, trust.
That is my rant, stupid as it is.
That is my rant, stupid as it is.
woodsy1
Gold Member
I'm sorry. I miss loved ones too. I nearly burnt some bridges and I'm paying for it. Ugh!
Hollowed out. I get it. I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
ladee
VIP Member
It's not stupid @bird_on_a_wire. I've had these same thoughts a lot this past year. And I think it's a very interesting question "Is the measure of worth the degree to which people grieve?"
I've never thought about it this way but it seems our measure of worth is not dependant on what other humans give us. I know I grieved my mom for a long time. The old man, not even for a second. My son, I'll grieve him forever. Not as intense as it is now, but I will miss him for as long as I am alive.
But maybe God saw something in the old man that none of the rest of us did. And These are my own thoughts and feelings. The measure of our worth is how much we love and let others love us back. For every kindness, regardless if we are 'connected at that moment' or not, counts.
You have tremendous worth to me that you have never seen in yourself. You are one of the first people who welcomed me here and we've stayed in touch all these years. I don't have to have met you in person to come to love who you are. I know my take on things did not appease or answer your questions. But you matter to me and you have worth that you haven't realized. But you are worth a lot to me. Gentle hugs.
I've never thought about it this way but it seems our measure of worth is not dependant on what other humans give us. I know I grieved my mom for a long time. The old man, not even for a second. My son, I'll grieve him forever. Not as intense as it is now, but I will miss him for as long as I am alive.
But maybe God saw something in the old man that none of the rest of us did. And These are my own thoughts and feelings. The measure of our worth is how much we love and let others love us back. For every kindness, regardless if we are 'connected at that moment' or not, counts.
You have tremendous worth to me that you have never seen in yourself. You are one of the first people who welcomed me here and we've stayed in touch all these years. I don't have to have met you in person to come to love who you are. I know my take on things did not appease or answer your questions. But you matter to me and you have worth that you haven't realized. But you are worth a lot to me. Gentle hugs.
mumstheword
VIP Member
Please let us reason our way out of this political nightmare.
f*ck you CCP. And all your cohorts slash the traitors who are throwing all of our hard earned freedoms and rights and even any hope of reasonable heathcare out of the window.
And screw all of the non thinkers who think I'm being offensive for lamenting this loss of our freedoms, science-and-reason- backed healthcare and sanity. This is "Reset" garbage. This is f*cked for all of us. If the bulk of us can't figure this shit out, then there is no hope for any of us who want our kids and kid's kids to enjoy the liberties we used to take for granted, and our foreparents (and even some of you here, thank you SO MUCH for that!!!) fought and some lost their lives to protect.
f*ck you CCP. And all your cohorts slash the traitors who are throwing all of our hard earned freedoms and rights and even any hope of reasonable heathcare out of the window.
And screw all of the non thinkers who think I'm being offensive for lamenting this loss of our freedoms, science-and-reason- backed healthcare and sanity. This is "Reset" garbage. This is f*cked for all of us. If the bulk of us can't figure this shit out, then there is no hope for any of us who want our kids and kid's kids to enjoy the liberties we used to take for granted, and our foreparents (and even some of you here, thank you SO MUCH for that!!!) fought and some lost their lives to protect.
Lionheart
Not Active
This is the first year that none of my immediate family members will physically be here for Christmas because they have all passed on. I am trying hard to adjust to this new reality, but it seems especially difficult at Christmas. During the last several years of their lives, I realized that family is hella important. The one thing I wanted for Christmas was just that they all be safe, happy, and alive with all of us together for the holiday. That was my Christmas present each year. This year it will be the bittersweet memories of Christmas' gone by. That is what's on my mind right now.
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Tornadic Thoughts
VIP Member
Weeding through all the December feels on this longest night.
It's the month of my late aunt's born day, who tragically took her own life many years ago.
It's the month of my late father's born day, who passed from a brain tumor the size of a softball that went undetected by many doctors for decades.
It's the month I have to start wearing a whole freakin' load of laundry to stay warm outdoors.
It's (yet another) month I can't visit, hug, and gather with some of my favorite humans.
It's the month I fear more than usual for my safety in my own home as the offspring and others are more apt to visit during the calendar prompted "celebratory" days as they marinate in their chosen stank bombs.
It's the month when I see and hear many folks who chastise others for believing in fictional deities and such turn around and do the same damn thing to their kids with that santa dude (and later, the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy, etc.) - who watches you while you sleep - and who will punish you for not being "good" by not giving you a gift, and such - ummm...okay.
It's (yet another) month with calendar prompted days that kicks consumerism into higher than usual gear, where little to no thought is given to the path things have to take to make it to the plate, etc., continually declaring many wishes for "peace on earth" while joyfully paying for others to slit many species' throats to feast upon. Ouch.
But, at least it's almost over. Only 88 more days until spring when I can spend more time in the garden and less time in my brain.
It's the month of my late aunt's born day, who tragically took her own life many years ago.
It's the month of my late father's born day, who passed from a brain tumor the size of a softball that went undetected by many doctors for decades.
It's the month I have to start wearing a whole freakin' load of laundry to stay warm outdoors.
It's (yet another) month I can't visit, hug, and gather with some of my favorite humans.
It's the month I fear more than usual for my safety in my own home as the offspring and others are more apt to visit during the calendar prompted "celebratory" days as they marinate in their chosen stank bombs.
It's the month when I see and hear many folks who chastise others for believing in fictional deities and such turn around and do the same damn thing to their kids with that santa dude (and later, the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy, etc.) - who watches you while you sleep - and who will punish you for not being "good" by not giving you a gift, and such - ummm...okay.
It's (yet another) month with calendar prompted days that kicks consumerism into higher than usual gear, where little to no thought is given to the path things have to take to make it to the plate, etc., continually declaring many wishes for "peace on earth" while joyfully paying for others to slit many species' throats to feast upon. Ouch.
But, at least it's almost over. Only 88 more days until spring when I can spend more time in the garden and less time in my brain.
intothelight
Sponsor
Starting today, we'll get to see longer days.
Lionheart
Not Active
What is it like after ya die, is it nothingness or somethingness? (haha I think I just made up a new word) Anyway, I wonder about my family, what it is like for them and that is what is on my mind this morning.
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