couragetogrow
Learning
I thought I had overcome my familial relationship issues and set the proper boundaries for myself. But it seems this is a process that needs reevaluation on an ongoing basis. This lightbulb moment started. This weekend I discovered that a family member disclosed information (that he agreed not to share) about my whereabouts to another family member that has physically assaulted me in the past. It caused me to realize where I've kept unsupportive ties in my life and has come with a lot of realizations about why. Feeling like I'm offending people by setting boundaries, Feeling like I don't have the right to do so because no one is perfect. Has anyone experienced gaslighting yourself like this?
I realized that the remaining family ties I have besides the above, while not overtly abusive are one-sided and I feel like I'm always the one making the effort to maintain them. I'm getting the courage to set higher standards for relationships in my life, but it's come with a lot of second-guessing myself. Am I'm treating people with fairness and respect? Even if they are not concerned in the way I am, I tell myself, "well that's who they are and I need to accept them for who they are"...but this has got me nowhere and in the worst case opened myself up to unsafe situations.
Thoughts?
I realized that the remaining family ties I have besides the above, while not overtly abusive are one-sided and I feel like I'm always the one making the effort to maintain them. I'm getting the courage to set higher standards for relationships in my life, but it's come with a lot of second-guessing myself. Am I'm treating people with fairness and respect? Even if they are not concerned in the way I am, I tell myself, "well that's who they are and I need to accept them for who they are"...but this has got me nowhere and in the worst case opened myself up to unsafe situations.
Thoughts?