General Trembling Because Of The Other Persons Ptsd?

[I'll make tea]

Did you as somebody who has not been diagnosed with PTSD ever have a tremor... or however this is called... because of your loved-one?

The fact my H sometimes seems to be quite stressed makes me feel stressed to... and in fact I sometimes just cannot stop trembling. My hands have a little shake at times and as much as I try to surpress it, it is there and other people have noticed it and asked me what is wrong with me.

 

[The Albatross]

There are both physical and mental issues that cause trembling or tremors. Here's an article and I hope you find some helpful information here: Dead Link Removed

Please note that listed are both physiological and mental/emotional potential causes. Awareness is the first step of initiating change. I hope you'll decide IMT to address this issue independently of whether or not it stems from "the other person's PTSD" because, the fact of the matter is... away from your perceived purveyor of additional stress... other people are noticing and bringing it to your attention. It's time for you to consider taking care of you.

 

[I'll make tea]

I am a bit stubborn here. I'd rather be trembling than spending hours at a shrink's office + my husband does not want me to discuss him with a shrink.

Well... but you are probably right about physical issues that can cause tremors. So I should see a doctor. Still I think that it is stress because I feel quite stressed when I tremble... could of course be a physical issue that causes both such as the thyroid.

 

[The Albatross]

I'd rather be trembling than spending hours at a shrink's office + my husband does not want me to discuss him with a shrink..

Hmm. Glad you feel up to bringing this up with a medical doctor. Interesting reaction though to the possibility that it may be psychological. My mother has an untreated and undiagnosed "anxiety disorder" and I can tell you first hand dealing with her is no party... and I'm the one with PTSD.

She prefers to go the medical route as well but is not managed on her paxyl. She was all for my own therapy until I hit a patch where my therapist wanted her in my sessions... then it was no dice.

Only you can know your own situation though... but my experience with a "below therapeutic dose" person with an undiagnosed anxiety complaint has been troublesome. Several times to the point of me seriously considering cutting her off and out of my life.

 

[Seasounds]

I can understand how you might tremble, when being close to someone with PTSD. And, as they are your trembles, and you can't change your mate, you are at choice of how you take care of yourself.

Some explanations that I think of are:

• Flight, fight, freeze response; your trembles are from your body signaling you, that you are in a dangerous situation-however mild or strong. The trembles are a bit of a jump start.
• Mirror neurons: your trembles may be mirroring what the person close to you is experiencing (and may not be aware of).
• Trigger: your body may recognize that your current situation is similar to an experience in the past.
• As The Albatross pointed out, our mindbody is just that; one interlinked continuum. Physical causes are possible. The article on anxiety may be insightful, even if if you don't relate to the idea. When I think of it, stressful situations are inherently anxiety producing, usually leading to signals (e.g. tremors, perspiration, increased pulse) that may or may not be 'felt'.

The most interesting part, is that you get to lead the investigation, and take whatever actions may seem helpful.

I'm glad you mentioned your situation. Your great self-awareness reminds me to pay attention to my own signals.

 

[I'll make tea]

Albatross, Thank you for your opinion. Why did you consider cutting off contact with your mother?

Change, I don't think I need to guess around about the explanation. My husband behaviour startles me. That's it. Could also be something else in addition, physical, psychological whatever... it is good to consider this and I most likely will... still I am with Sherlock Holmes here. "The simplest explanation is the one most likely to be true". The simplest explanation is: I am startled by my Vets behaviour. When he acts stressed I feel stressed + I tremble + sometimes when I think of his issues I tremble even when he is not there.

 

[The Albatross]

I consider cutting off contact with my mother because frankly, being untreated, her behaviors, outbursts, and at times passive/aggressive barbs are problematic for my own recovery. I am in recovery, have received treatment, and she is not. It hurts to see a person so adamant on remaining stuck/ill/affected.

Far and away the easiest thing is to break contact... but I have not elected to do so though it has caused a lot of distress for me. My own husband has been prepared to move out of state from both our mothers (his is untreated as well but was neglectful) for quite some time. I am the one who attempts to stay and stare the dysfunction in the face.

 

[Seasounds]

@The Albatross , what is IMT? Also, I gave up contact with my mother for the vary same reasons. It was a good decision. Nice to know someone who did the same thing. There aren't too many of us.

@I'll make tea, sometimes the tremble has signalled to me that my mate was stressed, making me stressed, making it a good time for me to 'give space' to our interactions. I would usually experience a level of tension in my muscles, instead of trembles. And sorry if it seemed like I was offering ideas, when you already had clarity; my oversight.

 

[Abstract]

The others have said it all.

What stood out for me was your reaction to the idea of therapy. This may be way off the mark but how are you at discussing your feelings and getting support from others in general. Where is your outlet when it comes to the stress of a having a partner who is often in distress? How good are you at knowing your feelings and discussing them with others?

 

[I'll make tea]

Well... me and hubby are from a culture where Vets are supposed to be strong. and period. Hubby asked me not to discuss some of his issues with other people. I gave him my word and I am bond to this.

I was talking to some other spouses but then my husband asked me not to discuss some things with them. A relative of mine noticed there was something not okay with hubby, then he wanted to make me talk about this and I refused. He thought that it was not good that hubby won't let me talk to my family about this. I married young + am close to my family.
Later I blurted it out, told my hubby, what my relative had said. My Vet then said that this relative should not be allowed to come to our house again. I was heartbroken, later hubby changed his mind... but there is still a lot of tension in my family. Hubby is mad at the relative, the relative is mad at hubby, other relatives picked sides.

 

[Abstract]

Thats why it is so useful seeing a therapist. ;) They are not connected to your personal life and are bound by confidentiality.

 

[Seasounds]

Wow, knowing the culture you are coming, you are a leader in making healthy changes. The Vet culture you described is similar to the alcoholic culture that I grew up in. My faimly came from pioneers who had their own war: 'taming the wild west' and overcoming poverty.

Speaking about problems, and reaching out to others was forbidden. Agreeing to solidarity was required. If I violated the rules, I was doomed to berating and beatings that took away my right to have a voice, to move, and, almost, my ability to breathe-to have a life, at all.

I think both systems may have their advantages in getting through wars, but they do not breed psychological survival in peacetime. What do you think?