I am not sure how much I take on other peoples problems (or maybe I do and just don't see it that way). But I can definitely read other peoples feelings and feel for them. Just last night at work a co-worked I talk to sometimes sat down and I took one look and knew she felt frustrated or something along those lines and told her she looked frustrated and asked what was going in. (After I felt angry because no one ever does that for me :( ask me what is going on because I seem upset.)
A lot of the times, even if I haven't been through the exact same scenario, I feel for people and do well at understanding/empathizing with them. Even the villains in movies, I get sad while watching because no body likes them and I know they must feel left out and sad because of it, while other people would think it was good that bad things happen to the villain.
My therapist noticed that I empathize with others. I remember when I told her that when my dad died, all I could think about was him collapsing in front of my mom. That was the part that made me cry, just imagining what my mom must have felt. I never thought of it as empathizing with her.
I am a very visual person, so I'm trying to learn not to visualize what they're telling me, to try and stop their images from becoming mine. Also, although I feel others pain, I barely can identify my own feelings or needs
YES, about being a visual person, I see/feel what others tell me. That is a very good way of explaining it. And the second part, I have talked to my therapist about this because I am very good at recognizing and comforting/validating/understanding other peoples feelings in different situations. My therapist has asked me where I learned it from and I have noooo idea because all I remember is being ignored/invalidated/minimized as a child.
The only thing I can think of is that I am very observant, so maybe I just picked up on this stuff, like how to respond to people when they are feeling different things, how to validate them.
I know my therapist said that the reason why I can empathize with people is because I have lived it. I have felt their feelings in similar situations.
I have been like this since I can remember. Was always called an over-sensitive, over-emotional child.
This is one of the things I have remembered, being called, emotional, when I grew up. Do not remember the context or the way it was said, but I know it was not a positive way. I have a very hard time now, I don't want others to see me emotional. I fear they will think I am crazy or over reacting.
For me, I don't think my emotions were uncalled for. I know I yelled and cried a lot, but it was because my dad pissed me off how he treated me and my younger brother and family. I had a right to be upset. If other people besides my dad called me emotional (don't remember who has said it to me, just that it happened), I remind myself it is probably because I made him even more mad because I would fight/yell back sometimes. And they looked down on me for that, for not being able to stay calm and not get him more worked up.
And whatever you have been "over-sensitive, over-emotional" with as a child, I want you to know, you were not being over emotional or sensitive. It is called feelings and some people don't let or like themselves feeling them, or it makes them uncomfortable, so they have to call others emotional or sensitive. Just because they can't handle it, doesn't mean it was wrong that you let yourself feel. You are not broken. Feeling emotions is natural.
