Subconscious Thoughts Coming Out In Therapy

[ellienad]

This is going to sound weird...but I've been feeling like lately therapy has been similar to the process of dreaming...(bear with me) I don't mean that in the literal sense of it "being like a dream". I mean it like this; Our dreams usually are our subconscious thoughts. Things that aren't in the forefront of our mind throughout the day are commonly worked out or present in our dreams.

Recently, it seems like at every session all of my subconscious thoughts manage to come out. Even if they're things I really did not want to talk about. I always leave feeling better, cleansed I guess. But in some ways it freaks me out and leaves me feeling all vulnerable and weird :O_o: After the session I'll be thinking back to things I said, and think "Did I really say that? How embarrassing!" Anyone else?? Do I sound totally ridiculous?

 

[franciemarnie]

No, you sound really in touch! Good going!

 

[seekingstability]

Sign of a good safe therapist I think! Well done.

 

[Alfred.Greene]

It's uh, what I used to do with my counsoler. It was basicly me monologueing for quite a while, him picking out what was unhealthy and then posing questions. Off I would go again saying stuff I didn't want to say or didn't know about myself.

It's pretty normal. Don't distrust it.

 

[ellienad]

@franciemarnie Really? Thanks!
@paidfor I sure hope so. I really like my T and over time I've begun to feel more and more safe with her. It's just SO weird being more of an "open book" versus my normal closed off self who doesn't let anyone in. Thank you for your nice comment :tup:

Off I would go again saying stuff I didn't want to say or didn't know about myself.

@Alfred.Greene Aww! This made me laugh a little because this sounds so much like something I would say! *sigh* The lovely process of therapy...

 

[Alfred.Greene]

@ellienad Yeah, it really quite funny, I miss it. If you need anything I am here for you.

 

[RavioliCannoli]

No, this has been happening to me a lot. I discuss a lot of visual things in therapy, whether it be a dream, an image i draw a lot, or a memory. I think it's a means to explain the feelings we can't find the words for.

 

[NovemberStar]

I very much relate. For me it sometimes feels like I'm either turning inside out (which is awful); or that I'm outside myself, standing beside myself (not awful but bit scary-weird).

Edited to add - I don't know if you also get the feeling that your unconscious mind is coming to the fore? Sometimes I feel my unconscious mind is about to reveal things to me I have not previously been aware of. It's sort of similar to feeling I am outside myself, although in that case, I am still within myself. That probably doesn't make any sense at all.

 

[zaniara]

I recognize it from the sessions with the therapist I have now- I have never experienced it with a therapist before. Have outsmarted them too much, without meaning to. This therapist is too clever, too intuitive and reads me too well for me to be able to act on that involuntary controlling behavior. He somehow bypass it. But he has been pretty strong, stubborn and persistent in working on getting close to me. And boy did I fight him!! :D (And he had to tell me a few times that I could fight him as much as I wanted, but that he was the therapist, not me. - He always did so very calmly, not in an aggressive way, but he never allowed me to 'take control'.) Was so scared, and sometimes wondered if he was a psychopath.. Before I finally started trusting him. (And the process. Which yes, left me feeling so extremely vulnerable which freaked me out!! But has helped so much!)

Thank you for putting words on this- haven't been able to do so before. But I think it's a sign the therapist is a good match and that you are making progress. If you didn't feel this way you would probably only be blah-blah-blah'ing your way through therapy- and that has never helped me much.

 

[ellienad]

@ellienad Yeah, it really quite funny, I miss it. If you need anything I am here for you.

Thank you so much :hug:[DOUBLEPOST=1401386539,1401386246][/DOUBLEPOST]@RavioliCannoli That's really interesting, I've never thought about that. I always tend to explain visual things a lot as well, mostly dreams or memories. I'm a "visual learner" also so it makes sense. Things are clearer to me when I can visually look at them.

 

[ellienad]

@NovemberStar I can definitely relate to the turning inside out feeling, in the sense that everything I'm holding in is suddenly on the outside for the world (well my T) to see. In answer to your question, I can sometimes feel when I'm about to reveal something from my subconscious. Over time I've become more unfiltered with my T, which I suppose is a good thing but can also be a scary thing! Don't worry, you are making perfect sense :hug:

@zaniara The only therapist I saw before my current one I saw as a kid. Even then, I would try and "outsmart" her and was very filtered and carful about what I revealed. At my first session with my current T, I went in with the same mindset. Early on I was constantly trying to figure out her "tactics" and techniques. But as I gained more trust in her I was able to let go of a little of my control and need to know everything, and slowly but surely I've realized that she's on my side ;)

I'm glad I was able to put words on this for you! I think I unintentionally put words on this for myself too :) I think it's very true about it meaning it's a good match (at least I hope so!) Spot on with the "blah blah blah'ing" through therapy as well, this may be easier but not helpful in the long run.

 

[Suzetig]

I really know what you mean about feeling "inside out" I've had that a few times now with my current T and we've just been talking about working at a deeper level, with her supporting me to be vulnerable in therapy. Given I spend a fair amount of time in session fighting being vulnerable (and loosing the battle on occasion) it feels quite scary to voluntarily commit to longer term, deeper work but I know it's what I need now. I too have "blah blah blah'ed" my way though therapy (what a great expression) and know that I've met my match in this T.