Respect Chat Or Lose It - Individually

[Deleted member 1860]

fact, this is exactly where you get a little carried away at times, with repetitiveness of issues

Yup. PTSD isn't my worst issue. Its definitely the repetitive, obsessive thoughts. Everyone knows I obsess, I dwell, I can't let things go. I figured it was pretty evident here on the forum, too.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Sammyiam,

A number of us invited you to privately chat elsewhere using other programs and you repeatedly turned us down.

Maybe you just didn't like those of us doing the inviting, and that is understandable, however my point is that people can go elsewhere and use other programs for private chat if they so desire. Its SO easy to set up an anonymous yahoo account (for messenger) or Skype account (and use it like chat only). I don't think the burden should be placed on forum resources when it costs the forum money and doesn't function well.

Actually, I think that may be a good solution for those who don't want to include everyone in chat, or want "private" chats while ignoring others. If you don't want to chat with everyone, then go elsewhere. I don't understand why there has been a surge of people ignoring others in chat (not pointing fingers at any one person). If you only want to talk to one person, don't dominate chat, its as simple as that. Chat should be open and inviting as it is the first thing that many new members see. If they pop in and say "hi" but two people are having a chat and don't want to include others, it gives them a bad taste in their mouth about how the forum is unwelcoming. Talk to everyone or take it elsewhere, just my opinion.

 

[anthony]

Member account contact details has a range of options you can input for members to chat with you more privately, if you want to advance beyond this sites basic chat system. These companies invest millions in their chat systems... which makes them far more viable for one on one chats with friends you meet. You can also control things if a friendship goes bad, shutting them off from your account, just as you can here by ignoring and limiting who can see your profile / contact you.

You can set your profile so only members can see these details, or only those you specifically choose to follow, thus giving them your permission to see these details to contact you on. People choose to use these existing features, or not.

 

[Tanishq]

@anthony previous chat rooms, I mean an year ago chat room had lot of facilities. Private room with password protection, no chance of anyone invading it, We setup chat timings through PMs, it had font formation, chat window skin. It had so many things.

It looked very expensive to me. Although we 10 people used this chat facility. Back then lot of things were different.

 

[anthony]

The problem is that because isolated chat systems require members to sit in them to be present, members don't... they continue to browse the forums. People don't wait around for someone to come into chats... they keep going and come back to them periodically. Isolated chat systems have failed here constantly... and yes, people did use to organise times for chats, yet even then that was a select group and not open to everyone.

I have no intention of changing away from this system, because it has proven to work the most effectively of all efforts attempted here.

 

[Tanishq]

That makes sense to me Anthony. That isolated chat system didn't bring in more people.

 

[anthony]

What you had is a bunch of members constantly popping in, and out, all missing one another. That's what they do...

 

[Sammyiam]

@Solara

I am very sorry that I didn't get to do Skype as at the time I was very unwell and if you remember I told everyone at the time the reason I didn't do Skype with anyone, it was because i was having major account issues and couldn't even skype my own daughter, I PM everyone telling them and didn't exclude anyone. It was nothing to do with excluding any certain members I didn't get to Skype even one person, I also said that at the time as well, I don't want this thread to turn into a why I didn't do Skype. As for ignoring people coming on chat I have never ignored anyone coming into chat I have always said hello and made people feel welcome. On the odd occasion if chat is really busy with lots of people on, I have sometimes seen that people miss people but it doesn't happen very often and it isn't intentional. Also when you have your settings set to private it is very hard to get hold of people if you ever do want to message people, maybe that could be some of the reason people don't get back to people as they can't due to personal settings.

@anthony

This is the first time I have use the internet and forums etc so I have no idea about all the other chat options but will have to look into them Anthony as it sounds like there are lots of options I do this site and Skype but are very old school so my computer skills are very limited but thank you for giving me all the options out there. I am learning all the time and slowly getting better .

Thanks

 

[Tanishq]

@anthony Haha. I do remember that, one friend would come in and we used to miss them frequently. This is when we decided to organize the timings according to timezones. Keep each other updated and organize the chat timing.

 

[Tanishq]

@Sammyiam I understand you are very good person. You need not to feel guilty here. What makes me worried about you is you always help others, I have seen you helping so many people. You try to listen them and then go for helping them. This might drain you. I want you to be careful here. You do need help. :)

 

[anthony]

I am learning all the time and slowly getting better

Ask others here, there is plenty of knowledge on how to Skype and such from those who use it. I don't any more, as I got bombarded by people when it was on, and it was just a waste of my productive day checking it to see if it was someone I knew...

 

[Sammyiam]

@Tanishq

Thank you Tan I would never ever hurt anyone on purpose and if I have And not known it I have already apologised, the thing I would hate the most of all is if I have hurt any person on here. I just really like the site and think it is great to have people who have been through really horrible pasts and can come and turn to people that know how it feels and to offer support to anyone when you can and in return you get to meet other people and get support back.