Respect Chat Or Lose It - Individually

[Sammyiam]

@anthony

Thanks Anthony, I have it all under control now especially having a daughter living in Boston. It took a lot of working out especially where we live. We had huge problems as we can't get broadband so it would work then it wouldn't and we had so many problems that we all put in and fundraising and made $3000 dollars as a community and got satellite boardband and so now we can get boardband and at a speed that is just good enough to watch u tube... Hey better than nothing. It's still goes on and off but you just get used to that. Also Skype works now yaya

 

[ms spock]

I think it is nice to welcome new members to the forum with a Welcome to the Forum comment in the chat room. I typically ask people which country they are in and what day and time it is there.

I think that people's experience in chat can be different depending on their experience of chat rooms and online communications. I can be in several conversations at once, on several different forums.

I notice the new people often don't seem to see Hellos or comments or responses to them. Sometimes I read back over the chat and realise that someone came in and I just didn't see them at the time.

I like to disco dance on the chat room disco floor, which have the best disco balls in the known universe (including Star Trek and Dr Who alternative timelines) so we are very lucky to have that.

I expect to repeat myself to new people or inexperienced chat members and to also perhaps point the way to threads or occasionally suggest it is time to ring a helpline or a professional person. I don't mind doing it every now and then, but I don't want to continually discuss something I have given several hours to and thus I disappear.

I also give people the heads up that the moderators are very helpful and will give you warnings to assist you in learning the rules, so not to take that personally, and suggestions about forum etiquette if asked or it comes up in general conversation. It is not a huge contribution to the forum, but it is a modest contribution to assist new members to integrate into the forums. So what I can do to help another new member understand or grasp things is a pleasure to me.

At one point if I said hello three or four times when I visited the chat room, and a person didn't respond, I kind of gave up, but I got negative feedback about that, so now I just say hello to everyone, as not all people are as experienced as other chatters.

I think for suicidal posting of ongoing members it is best to report it to the moderators, unless it is someone I know who is managing their suicidal ideation in a constructive manner but for a new person I might spend a little time saying ring a helpline or professional person, or post a thread in an appropriate forum.

If I am not going so well myself I tend not to go into chat as much. I might go when I am good or when I am only having a bit of a crappy day but I thought a contribution of a bit of fun and frivolity is perhaps good for people to connect with each other.

I have been to chat and not managed to join in the conversation which has been going on obviously for some time. I have also been there in conversation with people as well. So I can see it from both sides. Sometimes whoever is in the chat room and I don't gel. Or they are intensely teasing something apart and I have missed the beginning of that. Sometimes I have been discussing things with people and say hello and try to include other people but need to finish off a conversation before I begin another one. Mostly I like to be a bit silly and post youtube urls to disco dance with other forum members. I enjoy that. So it can be a mixed bag. But nothing is perfect.

 

[Philippa]

I love your presence in chat Ms Spock. :)

 

[rainy_daze]

I hope I've not missed anyone saying hello in Chat. I do my best to say hello to everyone, and to try and keep up as a lot of the time it is very fast paced. I might be fast at typing, but a fast reader I am not.

I am glad it has been brought to attention, this announcement, as I had sworn off chat for a long time due to bickering and then a sheer lack of members wanting to have fun/sucking the joy from fun Chat parties. When topics are heavy, sometimes I just read them, instead of responding. I think it is good to have freedom of speech here and I have learned by reading things that way in Chat.

I admit I last used Chat when I was very ill and @Eedara and someone else [I forget who :facepalm:] talked me through a minor problem which felt huge at the time. I then took a forum break. I would never use Chat as a life crisis point. I've read the rules too many times to do so :laugh:.

When new members or members I don't recognise ask for support I try my best. It isn't always easy though. It is especially difficult if chat is full, to try and read it all.

I recall someone in Chat constantly asking me for a link they thought I had. All it did was send me into a panic frenzy. I didn't even know what day of the week it was, let alone could I recall whatever link they were desperate for me to give them. Some people suffer from dissociation, it is good for members to note that I, and many other members here, do not have the ability to recall everything ever discussed in Chat. Nor do I take note of every link ever discussed in Chat. I've learned from that mistake. If I can't be helpful, I will be more honest and say I can't help.

Honestly, if I give a new member advice on how the site works and go through things step by step several times, and they do not listen on several Chat occasions, I won't waste my time and energy talking to them. That sounds harsh, but it is true.

I don't understand why there has been a surge of people ignoring others in chat

If someone is using the Ignore function, does that not mean the member typing in Chat wouldn't be seen by the other member? Just a thought.

I enjoy having Chat as a feature and I would be very sad to see it go, even if I don't use it all the time.

I have had deeper emotional conversations, discussed the weather, had imagination parties and all sorts in Chat. It is mostly a great place to be when the rules of the forum are respected, and when everyone respects one another in the community.

*Steps down off soapbox* :eek:.

@Ms Spock your disco parties are fantastic. They have made my day many times :happy:.

 

[anthony]

There is nothing about chat going anywhere, it is hugely popular... it is more a heads up for those abusing it, that they will be losing it individually if they continue the points mentioned here.

 

[rainy_daze]

^ I realise that @anthony , my post made it a little unclear there, I was more thinking out loud that I would be sad if it was ever removed. I'm grateful it has remained as a feature throughout the time I have been here.

I'm glad you said that too in case there was a forum-wide panic about losing Chat. Individual bans are a better idea, and can stop trolls, rule breaking etc.

 

[anthony]

I'm glad you said that too in case there was a forum-wide panic about losing Chat.

The title of this thread states that already...

 

[rainy_daze]

I know that is the title. My last response just said, I was thinking I would be said IF it was ever removed, not saying that there was any indication it ever would be. I said I was glad you said that in case another member also misinterpreted what I said in my first post about my feelings of losing it as a feature IF that ever happened, which I did not say was happening at all :). People misinterpret things sometimes if they don't read the whole thread or understand where someone is coming from. I was really only responding to what you said to me.

 

[ms spock]

I love your presence in chat Ms Spock. :)

Modestly bows and falls on the floor having a deep belly laugh. The disco hostess with the mostest! LMAO!

 

[ms spock]

Newer members need to follow longer standing members direction more. They know how this community operates better than you.

And the older members know the way of the disco as well. ;)

If you want to blame anything/anyone, then be accurate please and blame your abuser and/or PTSD. They're the fault, and not someone responding to you.

That is a good reframing. I forget that in my own life sometimes. It is the PTSD. It was the abusers. That is it. It is what it is, helpful for all of us to have a reminder I think.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

If someone is using the Ignore function, does that not mean the member typing in Chat wouldn't be seen by the other member? Just a thought.

Nope, that's not what I mean. What I mean is that NEW members who have been on the forum all of 5 minutes are being ignored when they come into chat. That is, their typing can be seen by all, but nobody takes the opportunity to welcome them. I am not referring to the *ignore* function, rather people just being flat out rude. Or someone will be ignored by a group of people (and its highly unlikely that everyone in chat....multiple people....all have the same person on ignore). Or new people will be in chat and it doesn't cross their minds to say *hi* to someone who just entered the room. Ok well I guess the last bit can't be fixed as newbies don't really know yet that the proper thing to do is to talk to everyone in chat, but as for older members, really no excuse.

 

[Tanishq]

Sometimes I feel for new members. I wonder why so many people are suffering so much and been left in this world. I have observed newbies feel they are all over the place and not sure from where to start. I think newbies need some space to talk about what they feel. Making them feel welcome and giving an assurance that they have space here will work out. Does this idea sound?