Medications And Your Sexual Perfomance Or Desire

[Della]

I'm a supporter of my man that suffers with PTSD, well, my situation is that his performance has declined drastically when it comes to intimacy. The last two times that we were together, he was having trouble getting aroused and staying that way. Also, he has not reached a climax since we started dating each other. He told me that it's the medications that he is taking. Well, the other night we tried again and this time nothing at all. No erection at all. In his heart and mind, we wanted to perform but it just didn't happen. I looked over at him and he told me that he is getting frustrated with his own self because he cannot achieve an climax. He then started to get very sad and discouraged and I told him not to worry too much about it because I was not in this relationship for just the sex. He was not trying to hear that. I have noticed that he has the desire to do it but just can't perform and I feel that's a lot of why he has not been coming around because he may feel I may ask him to have relations with me. He cannot even tell if he has a erection unless he touches himself below he told me. My heart went out to him though and I felt sad as well. I even tried OS on him the other night and still no erection. I asked him did he talk with his doctor about this and he said yes and they told him that they don't know why this is going on with him. he did stop one of his blood pressure medications though so I'm not sure if that is a cause plus he is on antidepressant meds as well and on meds for nightmares. I just need a little advice to assure him that I'm not holding that against him and what I can do to make him not feel so bad about it.:confused:

 

[Ed Norton]

Several antidepressant, especially of the SSRI,SNRI or tricyclic class as well as benzodiazepines, buspar, and atypical antipsychotics cause impotence and anorgasmia.

 

[Della]

Is there anything ED that he can do to try and treat the problem. Would Viagra or Cialis help him or it may be dangerous for him to take it since he is on so many medications? By the way, how are you? :) It bothers me so bad that he gets agitated, sometimes I feel that he may find another woman that will be able to make him achieve an climax. I try to do different things but he keeps telling me that I'm not the problem.. I even tried letting him be more in control of the sexual moves and positions instead of myself and it still does not help. I'm afraid that he will nt want to make love to me at all after a while,:(

 

[StarChild]

He told me that it's the medications that he is taking.

Hi @Della, do you know the brand name or even the substances that's in all his medications? That would be very helpful to find out more about the side effects of the medications.

 

[Della]

@TreeHugger , I'm not sure but I can find out from him. I think if we can find that out, we can do things better. Thank you to ED and you both.

 

[StarChild]

I looked over at him and he told me that he is getting frustrated with his own self because he cannot achieve an climax.

and anorgasmia.

Okay, some years ago, I was on escitalopram for about two years. And I experienced exactly, what Ed wrote; I had anorgasmia = Even though I was aroused like mad in my head, I couldn't get a) properly wet, and the more frustrating thing b) I couldn't get an orgasm. Even if I tried it myself, I couldn't orgasm at all. And since I'm quite a high drive woman, this was absolutely no fun! So I stopped taking them.

It bothers me so bad that he gets agitated, sometimes I feel that he may find another woman that will be able to make him achieve an climax. I try to do different things

Now, after reading this, I ask myself though... Is this thread about the medications / his current problem with not getting a climax OR, is this thread rather about you and your fear to lose him? What makes you think he would go and try to have sex with another woman? Why do you fear this so much?

 

[Della]

Oh yes it is about the medication sweetie, that thought just ran across my mind that's all. I hope that he does not. We get along pretty good for the most part. That thought crossed my mind because he have told me stories in the past about him having more than one woman. But, I'm glad that you told me that as a woman, you went through that so women go through it too. That's very helpful to me dear @TreeHugger, . That's very valuable. I have not asked him did he masturbate. He told me that he does not know the last time the had an climax. I guess it makes you sexually frustrated as it does me but I don't say anything to him aobut it.. Thank you. By the way, I love your profile picture with the tabby kitten. :hug:

 

[StarChild]

I try to do different things but he keeps telling me that I'm not the problem.. I even tried letting him be more in control of the sexual moves and positions instead of myself and it still does not help.

Okay, two things that crossed my mind spontaneously: Maybe, and please read this carefully, I say just maybe all your (loving) efforts could give him a bit of pressure too. But to make myself clear again: It does not mean, that you're part of the difficulties he experiences when he tries to make love to you.

Oh yes it is about the medication

Well, as I already said, it would be important to know all of the substances he's on.

Would Viagra or Cialis help him or it may be dangerous for him to take it since he is on so many medications?

I would be very cautious, with such drugs. The first step is to identify the substances he's on right now, and then go from there. And if the medications are not the problem, maybe a good sexual therapist could help?

Please note, that you don't have to answer the following questions. And I don't ask you out of nosiness, but to get a deeper understanding of the situation.
May I ask you...Could you tell me the approximate age of the two of you? When you or he are in the mood to be intimate, is it more focused on the sexual intercourse itself, or do you do some extensive foreplay? (i.e. Mutual body massages with candlelight, mutual bath, erotic touching (without the goal of intercourse, etc?)

Okay, that was more than two things, but sometimes some brainstorming can be really helpful. (Oh, and thanks for your compliment about my avatar.):)

 

[Della]

@TreeHugger, yes I tried foreplay like the massages and the touching of his chest becaue he kives that. I touched and massaged his genitals and sucked and kissed him on those areas. He would ask me if he has an erection because he cannof tell. He is 55 and I am 46. I don't pressure him when he comes around, he beginsvto touch me. I have noticed that he tries to avoid me when he see me at work. I feel he is stressing some too to because vetarins day is close as well. I have not talked to him since Thursday when we tried sex. He would penetrate me but it goes down after that and he gets angry at himself and he said he feels like giving up he feels he will never climax. He is on so much medication though.

 

[Neverthesame]

Impotence drugs would be something he would be best discussing with his primary physician. Given his age and number of medications.

He would need to be screened for cardiovascular disease and possibility of stroke. If that isn't an issue, other than drug interaction between the meds he's taking, it might not be a bad idea.

There is also a myriad of books and videos on different ways to (sorry for getting a little vague, prudish Catholic I am, I am.) go about having relations, that aren't pornography.

Have you ever been to a sex shop? An ex of mine brought me into one of those once. I was quite surprised at what was in there. (not to be confused with an adult video store or a brothel. It's neither of those things.) It was enlightening. I do remember seeing quite a few books about how to engage in an active sex life around impotence. Might be worth looking into.

Hopefully I am not offending you suggesting this kind of thing.

 

[Della]

@Neverthesame , no you didn't offend me.. I'm glad that you suggested it. He is not the same anymore. Yes, he does take medications because he does have heart problems. It's like we get together and he can't perform and he gets frustrated and then I don't hear from him for days. I tried to call him last night and he bumped my call. I'm not trying to put any pressure on him I just wanted to talk to him. sometimes he treats me like he doesn't like me at all. When he saw me at the that Friday after it happened, he avoided me. I saw him out in the cafeteria and he just went the other way. I want to talk to him about it so bad and I'm going to have to one day soon. Besides he and I were not really talking for about a month because of other issues but before we stopped talking, he was not like that. He is now like that since we have started back communication with each other. The sex is not a big issue to me I rather have the companionship more and for him to visit with me and sit and talk to me. He called me a ninfo before :)
I didn't get offended because it was his dry sense of humor. But I will look into sex when you are impotent. Thank you very much.