Respect Chat Or Lose It Individually, Part 2

[Deleted member 33023]

I'm not sure about the lack of respect in the chat rooms. I've always felt everyone has been respectful when I'm online. The people have been wonderful. I get lost too sometimes and I take as my cue to leave. The only time I get upset is when the chat is used more as a place to go instead of seeing the doctor. That scares me. I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing or not being supportive enough. When I feel that way...again I leave. I guess I just leave when I feel out of my comfort zone. I go there for comfort and understanding but there is a scary line sometimes too in using the chat room for their sole therapy. Yes I have ptsd and I have severe symptoms but I'm also not a professional therapist and am always mindful of it.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

the chat is used more as a place to go instead of seeing the doctor.

using the chat room for their sole therapy.

Yes, that is scary and that's what chat nor this entire site isnt.

Chat is a social place, yes things can be answered faster but none of us are therapists, we are just trauma survivors and supporters of trauma survivors and that's it.

If you see such a thing, before leaving I would report the member because no one on the site needs to be placed in that role and for the simple fact that it is scary, for everyone.

Staff here are amazing and Im sure will explain to that member that they need to seek professional help; that we are here for support only and not to be used instead of a therapist and/or Doctor. Dont be scared to report, theres a reason for the button.

:hug: if you accept.

 

[Bloomy]

Good post about the chat and many good comments.

Speaking for myself I do use the chat to air out things instead of using therapist. But I do it in what I hope is constructive. I dont want to weigh people down. I ask for the support I need and thankfully usually I get it. Then Ill leave the chat to process the support Ive gotten. If I dont recive support Ill not blame others and create a drama about it. I also try my best to make certain I give credits to those who aid me. It has helped me tremendously during the time Ive been here. To get support from people that understand where Im coming from is diferent experience for me. With that said its important to reckognize not all are able to give support wanted. Unfortunatly I feel Im one of them.

I also see sometimes the chat room seems internal to those that are there. Or people are beyond reach of any thing other people say. Or it can be a little to much talk about what medicine people use. Or such.
Then Ill just leave and come back some other time. I guess nothing in this world is perfect and neither this chat.
If I could wish something it would that sometimes it could be more focus on light things. Good things that happens, ptsd growth and moving forward. Cause we all deserve that. So many wonderful people on this sight and you all deserve to heal and to be your best.

Personally I prefer to use the chat more then socialise to much.

I also want to add therapist said yesterday I seem more safe to talk about traumas now. More grounded then she seen me before. Able to pull myself in and to selfregulate. I belive it due to being here and use this sight as a tool to make ptsd growth and healing.

Many of you say I dont need to thank you, but I will again cause the fact that many of you held my hand through thick and thin means the world to me.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Bloomy coming from a member prespective; I dont mind and want to help those I can. So if you come into chat needing a friend or to vent or needed advise, needed support etc; that's what we're here for.

Where I personally would start to say "you need to ask your therapist" is where it gets too far from "support" and more into needing a professional.

I personally havent seen you, or anyone, in chat asking too "should ask a therapist' stuff; Im not in there enough. But there's a difference in support (what it sounds like you've been getting from your post) and using chat instead of a therapist.

Also, from your post, you have a therapist. So from me, you wouldnt be using chat 'instead of' anyway; but ask yourself "do I just need some support or would this be something a therapist/professional would be needed for?"

My therapist has also seen a HUGE difference in me since Ive been here. Ive made the biggest steps here. But its because I was seathing 'needing support' from every pore and soaked it up like a sponge!

We are here to support one another! :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

@lostforgottensoul

I don't chat much either but sadly I have seen the type of behavior where an individual is asking chat instead of seeking professional help for what could be a serious medicine side effect. The person was advised to go to the ER and refused. I immediately started talking to other people in chat as I didn't think it was fair for someone to pretty much say hey, I'm having a life/death side effect but refuse to get proper medical help. It's emotionally hijacking and attention seeking and I want no part of it. There's nothing anyone in chat can do in those cases except worry and get upset. (Turns out the person was fine. I'm not trying to be rude and not help people but there is indeed a limit to how much chat can help and asking for more while refusing to help yourself is putting other people in chat in a bad place.) I should have said something at the time but didn't.

Avoiding chat for the time being. Hoping the problems get better in time.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@EveHarrington i agree with that and I also remember that. Completely forgot about that one.

I just dont understand that at all and yes, it worried me, a lot and that isnt fair. My anxiety sky rocketed and i was thinking that if they stopped talking that means they passed out or worse.

Talking about medication like is this better than that or this one works good or even a side effect thats not left threatening (more usual med talk I see) i think is fine and what i was thinking of in bloomy's post cuz thats the most usual med stuff but theres a reason vitals are called vitals and that I agree with 100%!

I went in there to talk about 'at home rememdies' other than cranberry juice/pills for a UTI; FJ scared me lol; but basically it was "go to a doctor", said i would and i did...a week later but did (and i dont like them either) and thats not life threatening but still if people were worried i also made sure to update too.

Its not fair to make people worried that you may die and refuse medical help so that example is up there with suicidal threats in my opinion cuz thats how it felt. "This person may die & Im helpless to help" is exactly what i was thinking.

Good example, Eve!

You know, i was having a dream about being banned from chat and i was saying "what did i do wrong" as my alarm went off lol. I think its cuz i type on this thread last before going back to sleep but that was suck ass and i dont use it often.

 

[Bloomy]

@lostforgottensoul - I do use chat instead of therapy since I had loads of issues with the therapist Im seing and it hasnt worked at all before I started to come here. I couldnt and still really cant use her as such to much.
But I absolutely understand what you mean and I agree. There has been some unpleasent moments in the chat.

So glad such a supportive place like this exist and glad this thread was made to air out issues :)

 

[StarChild]

but sadly I have seen the type of behavior where an individual is asking chat instead of seeking professional help for what could be a serious medicine side effect. The person was advised to go to the ER and refused.

It's emotionally hijacking and attention seeking

Unfortunately, there will always be people, that try to misuse / manipulate other members / the chat room or the forum. And that's exactly why I would bring them to the attention of staff by reporting them immediately... (1. Click on their username,. 2. Click on report on their name tag).

There's nothing anyone in chat can do in those cases except worry and get upset.

Of course we can do something! Report such a member to staff, immediately, as they so many times told us to do. And then let staff decide whether something has to be done or not.

All you need to do is report the username and rough time, and staff will quickly narrow it via their own search abilities to read what happened.

Because someone who's acting like you described it @EveHarrington, does even more than just attention seeking; Such members try to put others under pressure by shifting their personal responsibility onto others, (for whatever reason)... And from my point of view, to report them is not "putting them in trouble", as they've already set themselves up for trouble, with such reckless behavior...

I immediately started talking to other people in chat

Avoiding chat for the time being. Hoping the problems get better in time.

I hope, that you don't take my input as criticism, as that isn't my intention. But I simply don't think, that just "hoping for better times to come" and / or just "ignore them" will change a bad habit... I would let staff deal with such incidents.

Just my 02 cents...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

And that's exactly why I would bring them to the attention of staff by reporting them immediately.

I should of, I didnt even think about it in these terms or in this way. I suppose thats why these sort of threads are good.

 

[EveHarrington]

@TreeHugger

You are quite right; I should have reported this person. I didn't think it was a reportable offense at the time because I reasoned in my mind that this person wasn't suicidal posting so they weren't breaking any rules. It all happened sort of fast it seems that I didn't really get irritated and realize what happened until later.

I'm sorry I didn't report them.

 

[EveHarrington]

Well I couldn't report the person so I went directly to them and asked them to not do that emotional hijacking stuff in chat. Next best thing considering I couldn't report them.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@EveHarrington
I don't know know the whole situation but I think Anthony explained pretty clearly how to report someone. I did not know this before reading this post and I'm guessing you didn't either but now we both know :-)

I would not recommend nor do I think it is the next best thing to go directly to the person with any interaction. IMHO that is just adding fuel to the fire.

I would suggest the next best thing to reporting, which is the best option, is simply leave the chat room and return when that person is no longer there and not give them any attention (which they are seeking) by ever mentioning it again. Just forget it and focus on positive things more worthy of your time.