I know its been very stressful for everyone for months now, and I am not alone. Husband lost job of 40 yrs in January. Self funded and had not paid our medical bills in months. Not much one can do about that-as I learned. Jumped thru all the hoops, not having insurance. Had to push him to file for unemployment and cash out pensions, etc. He missed filing unemployment a few times. Often is his room acting like he is working on things. I recently found out that he we putting quarters in bags according to the year. Meantime, I filed for Medicare part B and now pay $144 from disability. Put off requesting pensions for almost a month in which we lost about $30,000.
Well after about 2 months got a great job with health insurance (by now covid 19) working from home. Perfect. Has to be trained for new job. About 2 months into training, heard of old job opening up (loser company with no insurance), but he knows the stuff. He is very lazy and gave it a lot of thought, which didn't work out. He did go and do work for them for free though.
For months I have had to coach him along, every step of the way. Been very accommodating. With him working from home, had to create office and keep dogs quiet. No vacuuming during day and stuff like that. Most of all it has been cheering him on to learn this new information. Getting really tired though. Never get emotional support for myself, but that's ok, still trying hard.
This afternoon starting cleaning our basement. Did I mention he is a hoarder...no I didn't. He also forgot to pay the yearly termite bill and now we have to start over for about $2000. I could go on with the stuff he neglects, forgets, avoids.
Anyway, we had signs of a rodent so basement needed cleaned out, and just because it did, also. I carried stuff to the trash I could barely manage. Had about 50 paint cans from 3 yr ago house painting. After dinner, when I asked him to help, he did for about half an hour and then went off on me.
I hit my limit.He is a crazy maker. Said I need to schedule these things if I want him to help. Verbally attacked me. Pounded fists on table like a child. I am really getting to old for this. Set my anxiety off, then I just shut down. I get so damn discouraged from getting no help. I don't know if others know what I mean, but when anxiety level meets shut down....cant even speak but heart is racing. I just can live this way. Im not suicidal or anything like that, but I did have to take extra xanax and melatonin in hopes of sleep.
Part of me is so damn angry that women have to (con), his words, men into helping with household stuff. Any advice is welcome as I am about ready for a divorce.
Well after about 2 months got a great job with health insurance (by now covid 19) working from home. Perfect. Has to be trained for new job. About 2 months into training, heard of old job opening up (loser company with no insurance), but he knows the stuff. He is very lazy and gave it a lot of thought, which didn't work out. He did go and do work for them for free though.
For months I have had to coach him along, every step of the way. Been very accommodating. With him working from home, had to create office and keep dogs quiet. No vacuuming during day and stuff like that. Most of all it has been cheering him on to learn this new information. Getting really tired though. Never get emotional support for myself, but that's ok, still trying hard.
This afternoon starting cleaning our basement. Did I mention he is a hoarder...no I didn't. He also forgot to pay the yearly termite bill and now we have to start over for about $2000. I could go on with the stuff he neglects, forgets, avoids.
Anyway, we had signs of a rodent so basement needed cleaned out, and just because it did, also. I carried stuff to the trash I could barely manage. Had about 50 paint cans from 3 yr ago house painting. After dinner, when I asked him to help, he did for about half an hour and then went off on me.
I hit my limit.He is a crazy maker. Said I need to schedule these things if I want him to help. Verbally attacked me. Pounded fists on table like a child. I am really getting to old for this. Set my anxiety off, then I just shut down. I get so damn discouraged from getting no help. I don't know if others know what I mean, but when anxiety level meets shut down....cant even speak but heart is racing. I just can live this way. Im not suicidal or anything like that, but I did have to take extra xanax and melatonin in hopes of sleep.
Part of me is so damn angry that women have to (con), his words, men into helping with household stuff. Any advice is welcome as I am about ready for a divorce.