Advice Please? I Am So Triggered

[theotherside]

Please help guys. I am so triggered right now. So scared and im just so upset because i was doing so good the last few days.

I just started wellbutrin like 4 days ago and ive never taken any meds before. I happened to start taking the welbutrin at a point when I wasn't triggered, as in I wasn't having daily intrusive thoughts and memories, suicidle thoughts, flashbacks, crying spells, insomnia, nightmares and all that stuff, major depression, anxiety, and all that stuff.
I am depressed, anxious and isolated every day..but it's so much worse when I'm triggered. Like now.

Now I'm screwed...jumpy and freaked out..crying and thinking there is no solution but to end my life..which I wont do but the thoughts always go there when it's this bad.

Anyways I am triggered by people that are persistant and want something from me. People that don't take no for an answer..I'm triggered when I feel pressured, pinned down, trapped in a way. It could be something so minor and not even a big deal. I'm not going to get into exactly the thing that is pressuring me right now..but when these things happen...like people...family, friends (haha that's funny because i dont have any) or strangers invade my personal space, make me feel guilty, pressured, scared...what to I do to calm myself?

I know I'm not in real danger. But it feels like that. I wish I could just protect myself and live in a bubble. My body is so on edge. I hate this. One thing and I'm back to this crap. Like it's the end of the world...

The welbutrin has not really kicked in but I am rather shaky I wish I could take something that would relax me.

 

[PlainJane]

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. I am right with you. I am not handling things well right now. Same thoughts can't get them out of my head. I wish I had something for you!! I'm very sorry!!! I don't know what to do either. :(

 

[mrsps]

I'm triggered when I feel pressured, pinned down, trapped in a way. It could be something so minor and not even a big deal.

I think a lot of us feel like this too. It can be something so small but to us it is huge.

I wish I could just protect myself and live in a bubble

Wouldn't life be great if we could protect our self like this!

I feel your pain and know how hard it is to get through these feelings. Remember to breath, slow deep breaths it really does help to ground yourself.
Is there something you really enjoy doing that you can do today to keep yourself busy. going for a walk, reading a book, painting?
You are ok and can get through this!

 

[mrsps]

Same thoughts can't get them out of my head

Im with you on this one! I drive myself crazy with my thoughts :(

 

[Mit]

I don't know of the medication you are taking, but I've just had a look on line and the side effects described are the same as many other anti-depressants. The side effects in the early days of taking anti-depressants can be awful. I was taking SSRI type medication for a few years, I reacted to one type so badly I couldn't keep taking them. I just wonder if you are still in the early stages of getting used to the meds because the type of feelings you describe are similar to how I felt and seem to fit with the known side effects.

If the feelings continue I'd suggest you go back to your doctor. You might need to try a few different sorts of meds until you find something that doesn't affect you so badly. I don't know how old you are but anti-depressants can be particularly dangerous for younger people.

Try to hang on in there and if it doesn't ease off I'd go back and talk to your doctor, just to be safe.

 

[theotherside]

@Jane1991 its just one of those days i need to curl up like a baby and hide under blankets...im sorry you also are not feeling good

@mrsps thanks for understanding and your suggestions

@Mit I am taking welbutrin...but these feelings are nothing new. I have been dealing with this since i was very young, although after a couple traumas in adulthood my symptoms became unbearable. I was just hoping that i wouldnt get triggered or have a big flair up until the meds kicked in.
I am paying close attention to all my symptoms..i never wanted to be on meds thats why i never took them but now im desperate because i cant function properly anymore.

 

[WillyKat]

See your prescribing Dr. and get a different Rx. I had the exact same experience when I started Wellbutrin. Only lasted a week and changed to something else.

 

[joeylittle]

@theotherside, are you on generic? if so, can you share any info on who made it? (Which lab).

Did you titrate to your current dose or just start?

Is there a time of day relative to your dose that things are worse? Better?

It's kind of a sledgehammer of a drug til your body adjusts. But it's very important to track all the responses you are having to it. I cope with this kind of thing by thinking of myself as a science experiment - it helps me observe my side effects instead of react to them, if that makes sense. Might help you, might not.

Watch the suicidal thinking, and make the call now so you can check in with your doctor or their nurse at the "I've been on this 7 days" mark.

(Try to tough it out to day 7, if you can.)

Otherwise, don't know if your doc told you this, but adjust your caffeine intake WAY back, and be super consistent about the time you dose.

 

[theotherside]

@WillyKat
I have felt like this before a lot. Since way before trying welbutrin. Like I mentioned in my post above in response to mit..

I was just hoping it would kick in and possibly help me a little next time I was triggered.

I will stay on top of anything unusual for me though..thank you

 

[theotherside]

@joeylittle
Thanks..i am on bupropion xl 250 mg..i think.
Today is day six..i have felt good the whole time except nauseous the first day, and kinda tired in the late afternoons. A little ear ringing one day.

Like i tried to say earlier though, these symptoms im experiencing today are common for me when im triggered, and i was triggered today by a situation that has to do with another person and calls for my attention..and i dont know how to handle that situation. I just want to run and not deal with it and its very scary for me..i feel pressured and it just pushed me into my full blown crap..prior to becoming triggered i was feeling fine. The suicidle thoughts are not new ive had that since childhood..ive never attempted it but my mind just goes there..like for example in the middle of being triggered i just think i should just kill myself because this will not get solved...then comes all the self blame and ugly spiral..guilt and all..but i wont do it i just hate it always comes to that thought though...

I think in my original post i just wanted to know how to calm myself down and to know im not in danger. Also i was wondering how some of you handle situations that come up that trigger you..like when theres a problem that you need to deal with or a place you have to go...and you are scared and just want to hide but you cant because you have obligations or responsibilities...

I really hope i made sense..

 

[Glenn R.]

theotherside - It sounds like you are in a horrible place emotionally, one that I am all too aware of. When I get so lost and confused from the pain, I try to keep it simple and just place one foot in front of the other. This means doing something loving for myself and continue to do the next loving thing.

 

[theotherside]

@Glenn R.
Thanks for your understanding...im just so tired of this and dissapointed to be feeling like this again...sigh