Undiagnosed Angry - I Was Sexually, Physically And Mentally Abused As A Child

[Suffering_in_silence]

I’m in my mid twenties and have recently come to terms with the fact that I most likely have PTSD. I’m pretty happy overall with an amazing husband and 3 wonderful kids living a middle class life. Over the past 4 years though, my anxiety/panic has increased and with that, my drinking.

I was sexually, physically and mentally abused as a child. I’ve cut off contact with my mother at a younger age and more recently with the main abuser, my father. My younger sister was also abused heavily but has not come to terms with it and still maintains contact.

I'm angry because other than this haunting me, I have a perfect life which I should be enjoying! Instead I live in fear and panic and drink to cope.

I’m very wary of doctors and medicine in general and refuse to visit a doctor until I’ve exhausted all options of treating myself at home. Does anyone have any advice or recommendations for me?

I’m on off label use of Baclofen to help with the drinking and I am hoping to find support and understanding from others to help me grow as a person and overcome the monster that has taken over my otherwise perfect life. I’m so sorry to anyone who has ever needed to come across this board.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I hope you find the information and support here useful.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi and welcome.

I know you hate doctors, but in the process of coping you're creating an additional problem which will need to be addressed---drinking.

Maybe you should read the stories of all the sufferers here who have grown up with over-imbibing parents. It's not pretty. I'm sure you do it in the name of self-medicating. So did my mom---and I've kicked her out of my life. You don't want to end up like that....your kids wanting nothing to do with you. So if anything, seek help for your kids.

 

[franciemarnie]

Welcome to the forum!

I am sorry you had to go thru so much growing up, and now as an adult you have to deal with the fallout.

I understand not wanting to go to doctors, but perhaps someday when the pain is too much, you would consider being treated for what you are going thru. You would always have the choice of walking out the door if you didn't like any doctor. Someday maybe you would find one you instinctively trusted and then you could begin working thru this. You deserve healing. You did not deserve what happened to you.

In the meantime, here is a good place to visit and read and share and meet others with similar experiences.

I used to drink to self medicate but it became more painful than useful, not to mention it began causing too many problems and I had enough to start with.

Glad you are here.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Suffering In Silence,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

PTSD can definitely wreak havoc on a person's daily life, but the first step would be to contact a therapist to get a diagnosis. This is important because they can help you put together a treatment plan and also assist you in getting help with any other issues you feel are detrimental to your daily life.

I hope you find the information and support here helpful.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[a3a2]

Your past sounds a lot like my own (the abuse). I forged my physical to get into college. Therapy helped a lot. A LOT! A LOT! Thanks to a gifted therapist and a whole lot of work, I have a great relationship with my beautiful kids. Push past your fear, so you can have a life with yours. It will be worth it!