Another thread about self sabotage

[saraemerald]

I notice I self sabotage sometimes, in small ways and big ways. And when does this happen? When I am starting to feel happy, calm, untriggered and a good place in life. When I have barely any problems and things are going good, I start to feel lonely. And I also start almost wanting the sad PTSD symptoms again and for someone to notice and to hug me and rescue me and help me.
It's like I want someone to either see me becoming healthier and embrace me and be happy for me or if that doesn't happen, I want to be depressed and anxious so someone will come help me and comfort me.

But at the same time through all this, I really want to genuinely heal and be happy and lead a good life and also be a good example of revovery to others and help encourage others too.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think I know how you feel.

Feeling calm and functional and symptom free feels so VERY foreign. I’m not used to it. The chaos is comforting.

I have a friend.....well, he’s my ex.....and much of our interaction is when I need support. Sometimes I’m afraid that we won’t have any contact when I’m healed/ok.....and that makes me feel sad. He’s one of the people I turn to when I’m having a rough moment.

Are people going to like me when I’m ok?

 

[saraemerald]

Are people going to like me when I’m ok?

I can totally relate to that. Are people going to like me when I'm OK. And now what do I do with my life now that I am "Ok".

 

[EveHarrington]

I can totally relate to that. Are people going to like me when I'm OK. And now what do I do with my...

Exactly! What do I do with my life now that I’m ok?