Being All Alone, Getting Older And Older...

[Britt.f7]

Yes Sheila, my eyes skipped the part about her daughter and went to the adopted part. I missed the her.

Sorry about that! Sorry about your miscarriages. I can't even imagine. I'm sure you bonded with her during that time, because it definitely sounds like she has great love for you.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, she made me some beautiful earrings for my birthday, 3 pairs. I asked for "a" pair of green ones and she made me 3! She's a sweetie! And when we do get on the phone, we talk and talk and talk... even if it is maybe once a month. I need to call her more often, but sometimes I call when she is busy grading papers, etc. and she cannot talk for long. I guess 5 mins is OK. Usually if she cannot talk, she calls me back not too many hours or days later. Sometimes, though, I get bashful about calling, I need to let that go! I think it may be about so much rejection in my life. That is not easy to overcome and when she can't talk, I sometimes take it as a rejection. Also, when I see that she is going to visit her inlaws so often, I get jealous sometimes. Once I made the mistake of telling her that when I saw she was going to drive a few hours to see them it hurt that she could not come to see me. It is a 15 hour drive to here, whereas a 3 hr drive to there. I need to cut her some more slack! But I get so lonely sometimes...

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Hi Sheila, I feel for your situation. Loneliness is tough enough, compounded even more by geographical isolation, limited transportation, tight budgets, and, yes, getting older.

My future is probably going in that direction, too. My boyfriend is twenty+ years older than me. All my friends are his friends (many of whom, in the same age group as he, are having trickier and trickier health issues due to aging; a couple have departed). I have no children. And, because I am no longer a Christian myself, though my family is very strictly so, my brother said he didn't think I was a good influence on his son, my dear beautiful nephew. My nephew is now twenty. I've tried to contact him -- to no avail. My niece is 13, I think, a real creative beauty who I would love to meet again, but...

Thankfully, I live and teach in a college town. I'm around college kids all day -- I adore them. My colleagues and I are not close for anything other than office chit chat. I don't like to drive to places by myself, and certainly not at night; and, although I'm very comfortable in the classroom, social gatherings outside of the classroom are laden with jaw-clenching discomfort.

I commend you, like others here have, for your determination to find a better church. How can a congregation not have compassion for someone in a crying jag (which is highly indicative of trauma, posttrauma). Shame on them -- may each one of them learn in the future how to recognize traumatic experience.

I hope this place will help you. I know I don't feel as isolated since I started posting.

Best hopes for meeting new friends.

 

[Changing4Best]

Thanks, Sweet Pea. I'm enjoying it here, I'm just too poor to be a paying member, so I have so many messages in my box that I've lost count! This place, even with the free membership is nice though. It is worth the time and effort, the proofreading and all that.