Relationship Best guy i ever met-shut me out

[Serendipity424]

You are correct, mine is a new relationship. I was just trying to learn and get support from oth...

Not trying to upset anyone*

 

[Buttercup]

@Serendipity424 don't worry...you actually have gotten a lot of answers. And I have too, actually. And have been reminded of things o read about here months ago and have forgotten.

I suggest reading any links to articles and old threads people have posted here. They have a lot of information and great insight. Your guy kind of sounds classic so far, so keep reading.

 

[Serendipity424]

@Serendipity424 don't worry...you actually have gotten a lot of answers. And I have too,...

Thank you for that! I really do appreciate everything that has been thrown at me :) I will pray he finds his way back and I hope only good things come your way!!

 

[Sighs]

@Parley - we've all done that - all good!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I do want to hear the stories both the hard, blunt, good, happy anything that will help me in my journey with him.

But what if it is better to be without him? Not saying it is but what if it is?

so you are saying with the sweet sayings he can feel that way and mean it one day and then he says not so nice things the next, that is what he did, was it to push me away or was it just to get me to leave him alone?

It could be either or. No one can say that but him.

I see this a lot here. Supporters wanting to nail down a "shut out" to whether he will or won't be back and how long it will last and the answer is, only he knows.

You are believing in a fairtale here. I am sorry to be so blunt but thats what it is. You need to look out for yourself. Yes, educate about PTSD but while you are doing that, make a life for yourself like he isn't coming back. You can leave the door open for him if he wants to return but what you are doing right now isn't healthy for either one of you. And that would be grounds for me to push away right there, permanently! They are better without me. I don't want to hurt them anymore. Etc.

 

[Serendipity424]

But what if it is better to be without him? Not saying it is but what if it is?

Thank you, how is educating myself and asking questions and trying to find support and advice not healthy, I have 3 beautiful kids and a great job, I am not letting this affect my life. I am not depressed and I still go about my daily life:) I would like to continue whatever I can with this man, it is not about support. I can do that on my own. It is about friendship, being there for someone when they need it, I don't need it, I would like it but if he cannot give all of that to me honestly I can say I can give it to him when he is ready. If he never comes back then I am strong enough to move on. Everyone here seems to think I have no life and I am sulking waiting for this man to come back. This is not what I am doing, I am looking for support and advice so when or if he does come back I know how to approach him or talk to him. I am 45 years old and I know in life there are no fairytales. Doesn't mean I should give up on someone I care about:)

Have a nice morning!


It could...

 

[Linzee]

Thank you, how is educating myself and asking questions and trying to find support and advice no...

Do you girl!

 

[Linzee]

Just to add my 2 cents. As far as we all know this is a one life one shot kinda deal. I say, grab whatever happiness you can squeeze outta life.

I am in a relationship nearly 2 years with a precious diamond of a man who happens to have PTSD. I went (still go through) exactly the same stresses, shut outs, you name it....But I have learnt to relax. We had some real open conversation the other day and his actions prove how much he loves me, as do I him.

 

[Linzee]

I accept what he can handle/give. He too has gone quiet now, but that's a normal thing for him, when reality and emotions become very real and overwhelming. I don't check missed calls for him like I used to and don't feel the urge to contact him like before in a panic.

Its quite calming once you're secure in the knowledge of where you stand I guess. I may not see him for a couple more months now but honestly...I know the loves strong enough to survive. Don't let anyone tell you different if you feel the same way. Peace!

 

[Serendipity424]

Just to add my 2 cents. As far as we all know this is a one life one shot kinda deal. I say, grab whatev...

Your post made me so happy, I am happy to hear this. I hope mine comes back. It has been 9 days, I know how he felt and it was so good. I just hope he knows I am here.

 

[Serendipity424]

@Linzee you gave me hope and I am learning patience. I am doing my thing and when I hear from him there will be no stress on my side, I will just be there for him.
Sometimes reading these posts I feel like we are all dating the same person. In a way we are....someone so special that has touched our lives in the best way possible. I know waiting and being there is what I want and it takes a special kind of person to handle it:)

 

[Deanna]

Sometimes reading these posts I feel like we are all dating the same person. In a way we are....someone so special that has touched our lives in the best way possible. I know waiting and being there is what I want and it takes a special kind of person to handle it

You're close! Two of those connections for me and they were far apart. The only thing lacking in your story is time and you do need a "shift" of some kind ( I have no words-sorry, I can just see it) No real connection happens fast. PTSD or no PTSD ( there are those- love at first site, etc) I am PTSD.. and maybe replying to your post because Isincerely hope it works for you. By reading some of your posts, I think his problem right now may be that you called him out and he may have defended his position too much to where he night have to make sure that his choice was right, because you gave a very strong message at first, that was very strong ( as in a weight strong) So, this doesn't result in balance - if that makes sense.