General Can't Do Right For Doing Wrong

[NJP]

We had a really bad weekend, Hubby had an anxiety attack where he said he felt claustrophobic and had to leave the house and take a drive, he was gone 3 hours, everything I say or so or even if I breathe the wrong way I get shouted at and told I am pressuring him.

His Mum took a fall on Sunday and his sister sent him a text, his Mum lives 2 hours drive away, he broke out into a sweat, started to hyperventilate and it was all I could do to hold it all together.

At the moment, I don't know how long I can keep going, I need a Hug, I need someone to be my rock right now, I feel I am on the verge of another serious bout of depression, but I just don't have time and I think I am just venting now............

Someone HELP ME please :(

 

[ISupportHer]

Well, I can help with the hug!

(((HUG)))

It IS hard! I hope you can find a way to cope and fight the depression. I hope you have someone to talk with. Keep posting here and I'm sure you will get feedback, and that helps.

ISH

 

[amethist]

Hi NJP

As ISH says, please find some one to talk to, depression when you are a supporter is not easy to cope with alone.

A hug from us here.

 

[Jibby]

I don't know how you guys cope. How many times have I said to my wife if I were her I would have left long ago. Multiply by 1000 how many times I've told myself that.

So many times I have been nasty, distant and got angry because I've wanted her to hate me, for no reason other than I feel the guilt that she doesn't hate me after everything, when I hate me. If that makes sense.

Rinse and repeat everytime she is understanding. She can't win.

Claustophobic and need to leave the house as you say I've felt and done the line so often.

I have no practical advice or insight to help you, others will be far more able than me, but if its any consolation anyone who does support and struggles and comes back for more is a caring, good person.

Hope it works out for you mate.

 

[ISupportHer]

So many times I have been nasty, distant and got angry because I've wanted her to hate me, for no reason other than I feel the guilt that she doesn't hate me after everything, when I hate me. If that makes sense.

Side comment to Jibby: I do hear you and think I have an awareness of what you say. You may not be in a position to hear it but, EVERYONE is deserving of love and understanding. You included.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming :)

NJP, The first time I tried therapy myself, he told me one thing that I always tried to remember. That I needed to work to avoid depression, not only for me but that it makes everything so harder for the relationship if both partners have issues. So, not only are you helping YOU if you do whatever is needed. Therapy, medications, whatever. By extension, you are helping your partner by helping YOU.

ISH

 

[NJP]

I now have a very strong suspicion and the evidence is mounting that he is having an affair although he strongly denies it and says that he can't cope with the questioning and lack of trust....how much more can I take before I break?